


Rising Consequences

by justsimplymeagain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Deal, Demon!Dean, Gen, John is a ghost, John is alive, Mark of Cain, Mentions of Cain - Freeform, human!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 56,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1273699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsimplymeagain/pseuds/justsimplymeagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the Mark of Cain there came a cost, Cain said so. But Dean didn't think that the cost would be this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_His voice was soft, not a common thing but this wasn't a common situation._

_“You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at the that church... And the hospital. I may not think things all the way through. Okay? But what I do, I do because it's the right thing. I'd do it again.” His words were true, and he made it clear that he didn't trick Sam in any of the situations. Well besides the hospital situation, but that was the only time._

_“And that... is the problem. You think you're my saviour, my brother, the hero. You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good then bad... But you're not...” Dean could only stare at Sam, he didn't even know if he was giving emotion but what he did know was that he wasn't liking what was coming out of Sam's mouth. Sam his brother. Sam his responsibility._

_“I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind. We're no closer to beating this angel thing. Please tell me, what the upside of me being alive?”_

_Dean was right, he didn't like what he just heard. How could Sam ask that?! Did he fail so badly that Sam doesn't have a clue?_

_“You kidding me? You and me – fighting the good fight together.” Being brothers, being together. Dean wouldn't say those last words though. How could he? It should have been obvious anyway. There was a time when those words were obvious._

_The sigh that came from Sam was of frustration, but he might as well have been screaming given how quiet the kitchen suddenly felt to Dean. Quiet, foreign and dare he say threatening. The second Sam sat down, Dean found himself shifting, drawing back and wanting to put a barrier up and hoping it was a false alarm, the need to protect himself._

_“Okay. Just once, be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you.” Sam stated, like he knew what he was talking about. Which confused Dean, what could have given Sam that idea. Sure Dean didn't like to be alone and would like to have his brother at his side._

_But they kept each other human, it was mentioned as a statement before. They both knew this! They kept each other human even though they were each others weakness. They could take on the world together whereas they would crumble and fall separately._

_“What are you talkin' about?” It was a thoughtless question, going against what he hopes and knows is fact._

_“I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you... You didn't want to be alone, and that's what all this boils down to. You can't handle the thought of being alone.” Sam's words felt like stab wounds to his heart. Sam wanted to die. Sammy wanted to die, his little brother would rather be dead then be alive._

_Movements were made almost like someone else was doing the moving. Like Dean was a puppet for Alastair again and his nerves and veins were used as the strings._

_At this point Dean doesn't even know if he's talking but somehow it got to the point where he said,_  
 _“All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing.”_

_“No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances... I wouldn't...”_

Those last eight words of the conversation kept pounding at the inside of his skull. Sam wouldn't save him if they were in the same situation. Sam would let him die.

It's been a few days since then, since the Bunker haunting from Kevin. At least the kid got reunited with his mother, there was that at least. But not in the way Dean would have liked. But at least the kid got to go home.

Home...

Dean at one time thought that this bunker could have been that for him. But it wasn't, it was a work place. The Impala wasn't home much anymore, it choked him with memories and broken responsibilities.

He needed a drink. He needed one desperately. He tried to cut down for Sam's sake, for his little brother's sake but apparently they weren't brothers anymore. So he was going to indulge himself. Maybe find himself a conquest of some sort, some way to distract himself physically and with alcohol.

So with a quick word to Sam he headed out in his Impala that was now usually parked comfortably in the garage. Something he did honestly enjoy having and it was kind of nice seeing other old cars as well though they were usually seen as a sign of those who came before him and those who died because of Abbadon. Dean always wondered which car belonged to his grandfather.

So without that much of a glance back he took off. Armed in order to defend himself, he wasn't a fool. Or at least not that much of a fool.

~SPN~

The bar itself wasn't all that great, it looked like it has seen better days. It wasn't full and Dean was thankful for that. He didn't know if he could handle a big crowd of people at the moment. Not with what's going on in his own head. The conversation that refused to leave him alone.

Dean ordered the cheapest drink he could get, he wanted the money that he had to last some time before he decides to drive back to the bunker, though he'll have to be extra careful in that regard. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, drive drunk. But Dean did before countless times and arrived back to whatever motel or hide out he and Sam used without a single scratch showing for it.

He was used to functioning while drunk or with an aching hang over. It was normal for him.

_“I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt.”_

How did Sam get off in thinking that Dean only made sacrifices so long as he wasn't the one being hurt? All the times Dean has made sacrifices for Sam, for their Father? The missed meals, missed chances and not to mention there was things Dean got up to just to make sure Sam had what he needed. Forty years in Hell. Sure he didn't have Sam's track record, but that wasn't a walk in the park. Not something to scoff at.

With an angry sound, Dean truly wished that the drinks would numb and blur the words from that conversation. But they didn't as it was now apparent as things still found their way through his mind. That conversation. Those words that were now banging at the inside of his skull. His conversation with Cain. Memories of Alastair, Dad and the lives lost along the way.

All of it leaving the taste of alcohol as bitter as it could be. Like ash and old blood. But Dean kept drinking. Something about him kept others away, something he wasn't complaining about.

His arm, the Mark of Cain started to burn both hot and cold.

That was a first. Before it just throbbed lightly, especially when he was in a situation that involved him to fight, to kill.

Hissing at the pain it caused he tried to use his drink to sooth it but that didn't work so he tried his hardest to ignore it. But for the next half an hour it didn't stop, instead it seemed very persistent in making sure he noticed it. So Dean figured it was time to turn in, he could figure out what was happening back at the bunker because that's where he had all of his research tucked away.

Paying as quick as he could, it must have been heard in his voice. The pain he was feeling. The bartender asked if he was okay, Dean didn't answer. Instead he just left, gave her a tip to silence her enough to get away.

The impala was a welcomed sight as he collapsed into the driver seat. He toyed with the notion to phone Sam. Phone for help but then Sam would have to get a car, come down here and a car would be left behind again. He couldn't have that and Sam and him, there was a gap between them now and Dean didn't know how to fix that.

Leaning his head back for a moment his eyes were nearly closed when he swore he saw someone familiar. Dressed in green, who did he know who dressed in green?

Dean didn't have time to think on it as everything went black.

~SPN~

“Dean!” A voice, worried and familiar. Welcomed even. It wasn't enough to cause him to stir though. Not until his name was repeated a few times and his body shaken from it's rest. With a grunt and complaint Dean tried to push whoever was bother him away as he forced himself to wake up.

It was Sam. Sam and the bartender.

Once it was obvious that Dean was up Sam went from looking worried to annoyed and disapproving. That was familiar as well. The norm for them. Dean pushed that aside as he shifted and took a look at the bartender, she was dressed in green, so maybe that was who he saw before he passed out.

“You're drunk.” Sam stated, the disapproval was apparent in his voice as well. It was enough to cause Dean to frown.

“Not as drunk as I want to be...” Dean snapped as he forced his way out of the car, he knows he won't be driving now. Sam may be angry with him, but the guy had a heart big enough to do what's right to some extent. Which didn't include saving him and Dean had a feeling that he might need that one day. Dean didn't know how he knew this, but he did. It was like when people knew they were going to die.

But Sam won't be the one to do it.

“Is everything to be okay?” The bartender, Dean didn't know her name, asked. Concern evident in her voice. Dean reassured her and Sam made it clear that Dean was going to get into the passenger seat. Dean didn't say a word as Sam got in the driver seat and Dean looked around for another car.

“I ran. She told me you were in pain, that you passed out and felt like you had a fever. What happened Dean?” Sam said, no doubt sensing the question in the air. Sam knew Dean enough to know what he was wondering, Dean still found that he enjoyed that. It made things easier and it was welcomed.

Sometimes.

But now he was stuck with a decision. Tell Sam. Don't tell Sam.

_“Before I go, can you guys promise me something? Can you two get over it? Dudes, just cuz you couldn’t see me doesn’t mean I couldn’t see you. The drama, the fighting? It’s stupid. My mom’s taking home a ghost. You two, you’re both still here.”_

Kevin's words rang through his mind. This would be a good way of fixing that gap between them. All he had to do was tell him that the Mark of Cain was hurting him back there.

“You felt fine when I touched you, you didn't have a fever or anything. You just seemed like you passed out.” Sam continued, it was a shock that he was pushing for answers. Trying in his own way to help Dean. Maybe Kevin's words sunk into that thick skull of his as well? Dean licked his lips.

How could he word this?

His silence must have been taken as his answer because as soon as the Impala was parked Sam got out and stormed off, no doubt to his room or perhaps the library. Dean knew he screwed up again. With a silent curse he found his own way to his bedroom.

~SPN~

Nothing out of the normal happened since the bar, Dean was once again trying not to drink as much. He was trying to approach what happened with Sam, but it was exceptionally difficult because they both got ridged and unmovable when it's brought up. Neither of them really good at giving ground. They never have been very good at that. Once upon a time Dean would have been able to handle that, give ground so long as it didn't sacrifice too much and touch on a chick flick moment.

But this was something serious. So Dean really should grow a pair and admit that he screwed up when he worked with Crowley, when he took the Mark of Cain from the guy himself. Research wasn't really giving him much anyway, it would be helpful to have two heads instead of one on this case.

Instead though, Dean said nothing and rolled with what's going on which in this case was the Ghostfacer's popping up.

Of course Dean remembered that he wasn't sure whether or not Sam would be coming with him, and when he did they didn't work together all that well. Sam bought in to the whole Thinman deal and Dean thought it was a ghost. Turned out it was neither. It was two humans, two men who took an idea started by one idiot to keep a team together and made it their own.

Needlessly said, both men who were involved died and Dean could honestly say he was glad that neither of the idiots who were the Ghostfacer's left the situation alive. Broken and separated but at least they were alive. That was something.

Right?

Dean killed a man, Roger or whatever his name was. And he wasn't all that broken up about it. In fact it was Sam who seemed to be more concerned then Dean was. Pointed out that they were just human but Dean insisted on the point that people were sick. Who thought like that?

Apparently Dean did.

Dean set the scene up to make it look like Norwood and Roger killed each other and with enough crumbs left behind it would be left at that. Dean and his brother and the other two would get off without a hitch.

Which brought him to the ending of that situation, Harry tagged along for a bit and Dean swore he saw something out of the corner of his eyes. Not in the back seat, but just off the side of the road. By this time it was silent, Harry was no longer talking and all of them fell into an uncomfortable if not mourning silence.

Even after they dropped Harry off at his chosen a town he grew up in that wasn't too far off in the direction of the Bunker. Lucky there. So after they got ride of him, the ride back was just as silent. The upside was that Sam wasn't as tense with him, like he was starting to soften around the edge.

Maybe Dean should too? But how because mentioning a happy memory wasn't good enough and granted that happy memory also had the memory of Sam's arm being broken, but it was still a better memory then most of their later years.

Talk about the Mark of Cain?

So far that hasn't worked out, Dean kept stopping before he could even start. Like he was ashamed of admitting that he might have been wrong, might have screwed up and he didn't want to add another thing to his long list of screw ups when it came to Sam.

~SPN~

Sleep was something that never came easy for Dean. Not since Hell anyway. So it wasn't a shock when he couldn't sleep all that well. This time it wasn't the nightmares filled with painful memories that left him feeling disjointed and wrong and tainted. This time it was the pain in his arm, it was worse then when it hurt at the bar.

It left him gasping and choking back screams. He was practically arching off the bed trying to get it under control. When that wasn't working he rolled off his bed and landed hard on his knees gasping and hissing out his agony. He refused to scream even as he felt one build up in his throat.

It would wake Sam up if he did and Dean was scared that he wouldn't be able to stop when he started. So he concentrated on keeping silent. Trying to find thoughts and things to focus on instead of the scream tucked just inside of his throat.

Unfortunately where Dean's attention went to wasn't exactly a welcomed one. It went back to a part of a conversation with the original barer of the mark that burned in his arm.

_“Can I use it to kill this bitch?” Dean asked, not caring about anything beyond that. He was poison and he was doing what he seemed to be only good at. Forget the fact that Cain said that there was a connection between them. Forget everything, he had a goal and if this gets it done then fine._  
 _“Yes. But you have to know with the mark comes a great burden. Some would call it a great cost.” Cain said, answering and Dean wasn't interested in what that cost or burden was. He told Cain as much._

Was this the cost? The pain? Dean could deal with that, but he did wish that the pain would disappear already. Maybe if he went and got himself some air. Some fresh air would do him some good.

So with a struggle he got dressed not bothering with his jacket or even shoes for that matter, it wasn't like he was going far. Just outside the door to stand for a bit, take in some fresh air and then back to bed, or find something to ease his pain. Walking wasn't the easiest thing to do when you were distracted by your arm, but Dean could manage because he's felt pain before and managed to walk a straight line. So he could do it again.

Easy.

The entrance to the bunker was a welcomed sight as he approached, still fully intending to get himself a breath of fresh air.

As he exited the bunker he took in a deep welcomed breath of it. It was refreshing, the bunker seemed oddly confining. Like a cage in a sense. He felt trapped and with his pain, it only brought unwelcoming memories. So he sagged against the wall next to the door which he left open a crack still, he didn't have the key with him at the moment. That was with Sam.

The pain was still there, but at least with the air it seemed easier somehow. Letting him think, letting him ignore how tired he felt. He wished he could get a proper night's rest. He hoped that Sam was getting a proper night's rest. Maybe that could put them both in the right mindset where they could talk and Dean could confess his mistakes.

But then given how wide the gap is between them now. It was not something that seemed to be easy to do and if anything it almost looked like it was near impossible.

And worse, he kept getting glimpses of someone dressed in green just out of his sight. Hovering just at the edge of it and disappearing before Dean could get a full glimpse. Who was that?

With a light thud of his head on the wall next to the door he closed his eyes for a moment, a single moment couldn't hurt.

The door clicked shut, confusing Dean. Did he close the door by accident? His hand was bent and still connected to the doorknob. Dean looked at it in confusion. Why would he close it? Dean tried turning it, standing straight and alert now. His arm's pain managed to dull down a bit letting him focus on something else, like dealing with the fact that he was locked out in nothing but a shirt and pants. And it was cold out.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean knew that voice, he didn't even have to search his memory for the identity of the owner of that voice. For a bit, that voice belonged to the creature who made his life Hell by wanting and chasing after Sam during the Apocalypse that never came to pass.

But he couldn't be there, shouldn't be out. Sam locked him in a cage, him and Michael. The cage was sealed shut with the four horseman's rings. Dean couldn't, shouldn't be hallucinating about him either. That was Sam's gig. Still Dean turned around, his body stiff and his arm in a dull ache.

What he saw wasn't Sam dressed in white or how Sam appeared to be at Stull Cemetery in Lawrence Kansas. It was when Lucifer was wearing the poor sucker before Sam. When Lucifer was burning through his temporary vessel. Dean could honestly say he was glad for that. Because he didn't know if he could stand seeing him in Sam's image.

The pride in that expression was unmistakeable. The pride, confidence and amusement. There was no faking that kind of look.

“Lucifer?” Dean stated, sounding braver then he expected.

Dean wasn't afraid, but he wasn't careless either. He liked to call it cautious.


	2. Chapter 2

He was the second born Archangel, younger brother to Michael and was most loved. There was reasons why his name was translates to 'The Light Bearer' or even 'The Morning Star'. He was the brightest there was, both in intelligence and in appearance. But that never mattered to him as much as his connection with his Father.

They were close, so very close. Lucifer considered himself to be the most loyal and he was. He had a strong relationship with God himself and Lucifer was devoted.

But then came a change in the way of things. The creation of humans. His Father commanded all angels to honour humans by bowing down to them and loving them even more then God himself. Everyone did as they were told. But Lucifer, he couldn't. He refused to do so. How could he bow to something so flawed and imperfect. So full of vice and sin?

Lucifer remembered saying the words, speaking boldly and sincerity,  
“Father... I can't.” His words ever so honest and just because he knows he's right and continued to say in the same manner, “These human beings are flawed, murderous!”

Of course his sincerity was perceived as pride and disobedience. And perhaps it was disobedience, perhaps he didn't word things as right as he thought he did with his skill with words.

But how could it be considered wrong to love your Father who created you and oversaw your upbringing more then such a flawed hairless ape?

No one saw it that way and he quickly started to lose his place in his own home! So Lucifer decided to rethink his actions. Words weren't doing what they should have been able to do. He will show his brothers and sister's and his Father what these things were capable of. He did it out of need to show what these humans were capable of. So he took up a new mantel, a new job.

First human's fall from Eden, aided by Gadreel the most trusted angel and corrupted Adam and Eve. To show how easy these humans were tempted and how quick they were to fall. It opened the door for Earth to be cursed with evil, but the evil were man made. Lucifer only opened the doors to that, showed his Father what they were capable of. Showed his brothers and sisters.

But that only caused his Father to create Hell and Michael his brother to throw Lucifer into it. Banned from his home. So he rethought what he did, planned things over once more.

Hell became a place to hold the corrupted and diseased. And so Lucifer would fill it, show without a doubt what humans were capable of.

The corruption of Lilith. His first demon.

The manipulation of Abel and later Cain who sacrificed his right to Heaven to take his brother's place. To save him. Lucifer couldn't deny that he was envious and angry and he made sure that Cain was the one who had to kill his brother, that nothing could kill him but his own blade. Something that others of course agreed on and allowed to happen.

Cain was kind enough to agree to train and lead his knights, some hand picked by Lucifer himself.

But his attempts to show his Father, his brothers how wrong these things were went unheard and worse denied. Lucifer was betrayed because of his attempt to do right and locked away in a cage with six hundred seals with a loophole of only needing sixty six seals being broken in order to release him.

He became the unchallenged ruler of Hell and the lord of all demons.

He became something he couldn't deny enjoying, a God in the eyes of these lowly demons.

And in that cage, his prison he waited because he knows that things were being shifted around and altered to fit the needs of perceived destiny and fate. A bloodline was pulled and stretched from Cain and Abel themselves.

Lucifer liked to think that although he was and will become known for anger among other things, he was a patient son. So all he had to do was wait because some demons were actually loyal enough to seek him out.

~SPN~

Waiting has grown to be a necessary evil for him, so long now out of reach of his home. Left out in the cold. Betrayed but that was forgivable because by now Hell has filled up with more souls then ever and growing as the population of Earths disgusting inhabitants. Surely by now his siblings and Father has seen what these humans were capable of.

Those same vice filled creatures had the audacity to blame Lucifer for all that was wrong in the world and he knows that the blame will grow as time moved forward.

It was absurd. But that was acceptable simply because he had hope that one demon, at least one would have held out hope to find him. To reach him. Set him free and let him loose on the Earth. He will rectify what was done by destroying the lesser being. The undeserved.

So when the silence of his cage was shattered by his most loyal demon through the blood and sacrifice of not one nun but eight, he was filled with joy and a yearning that could be perceived by the weaker heart as twisted.

He knew the location, the date.

1972 St. Mary's Convent in Ilchester Maryland.

_“Father, look... I'm not exactly the praying type, but still... I made the sacrifice. I got you a bagful of nuns. So, uh... can you hear me? Can you whisper through the door?”_

The sound, the voice came through a bodiless whisper. Not from his Father but from one of Lucifer's children. One of his creations, a son finding his Father.

It took some work to follow that voice, to the location and find a susceptible corpse to speak through. One that has it's vocals still intact. But he did and he used it.

“I'm here, my son.” Who said he wasn't one for sentimental classics of this nature?

_“It's so good to hear your voice, Padre. I have been searching for you for so long. You have no idea. The others have lost faith. Dickless heathens. But not me.”_

Eager and Lucifer awarded that eagerness and loyalty, keeping himself civil and friendly. Soft spoken and kind to his loyal demon.

“You've done well.” And it was the truth, he didn't lie because he didn't have to. He knows what's right and what's wrong and he doesn't have to show and say the wrong and lies when the truth and reality is so much more interesting and groundbreaking. He wasn't the type to do such lowly things, that's what his demons were for.

If his Father could allow such insolence in his humans, then there shall be insolence and pettiness to match ten fold in Lucifer's demons.

_“So, uh... how do I bust you out?”_

And there it was, the question of the hour. The important reason for this chat. Lucifer was welcoming of the change of pace either way, but to have reason and purpose in this chat made it all the more worthwhile.

He had one name to answer that question.

“Lilith.” She would know what to do. She was apart of the way out. But he won't say that, he couldn't say that because he didn't need her to back out and she will despite her perceived loyalty and twisted version of love.

_“Lilith? Father, she's... trapped neck-deep in the pit. It won't be easy.”_

Ah, but there was no denying or arguing. Pointing out and uncertain perhaps but no outright disobedience. He won't have that in his demons, loyal or otherwise.

“Lilith. Lilith can break the seals.” He pushed, he didn't have to but he did nonetheless.

Obedience and willingness. A need to break Lucifer out, all but silenced any protests that could have been and skipped to the how-to of the matter.

“Yeah, okay. But what do I do?”

And there it was. The true beginning of the journey forward leading to the unavoidable.

His freedom.

“You must find me a child. A very special child.” Lucifer didn't say that this child would be from a long line branching all the way back to Cain and Abel. He didn't say that Lucifer's brothers and sister's would be moving within the same direction. Moving other pieces on the board to make the unavoidable just that much easier.

_“What do you mean? What child?”_

Lucifer made sure he worded things careful, made sure Azazel understood the importance of what he was now going to do. He would have to seek out any and every bloodline and future child to use as back up plan's and special children. One of which would be the proper one.

His True Vessel and a younger brother himself.

~SPN~

His sense of time was one of the many ways Lucifer kept busy and not to mention, dates and time was important to get a full grasp of what's going on. What point he was at in this long journey to be released.

Since 1972 he hasn't gained any more outside information. Not from Azazel anyway. Only his sense of time filled in enough gaps that events were made aware to him.

So he knew by Earth's standard time, it was May first or the second of 2008 when the first step in his release was under way.

The arrival of the Righteous Man, even he could feel that shock wave. And it was promising. Lucifer was still trapped with silence that has remained so, he still knew what was happening outside of his cage. Torture. The process of shattering the Righteous man to break the first seal.

"And it is written, that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break."

It was a statement, it was a promise. Words that will be used by any who follow the goal and task of releasing him from his imprisonment. A prophecy in nearly every sense of the word.

And three months later, going by earth time. In August came the most welcomed sound in a very long time. It was the sound of a seal snapping free and falling away. It was enough to send ripple effect. A signal to Heaven and those sensitive enough to feel what was happening.

It was time to get busy.

By the end of Earth's August the sound of thunderous wings and battle screeches from demons came all the proof that Lucifer needed, his brothers and sisters were on the move.

With the first seal broken, the rest of the seals were just waiting to be shattered. With the first seal gone, sound filtered through and it gave him a better idea of how far along they are. All of them. Heaven. Hell. His brothers and his followers.

The time will come and he shall roam free once more.

It took ten years in Hell for the angels to reach the Righteous man who was now elbow deep in torture of his own projects.

Only four months topside passed since the death of the Righteous man. It was September 18, 2008 and the tasks of shattering seals was now well on the way of being tended to.

It won't be until he was topside that he got the full picture of what's going on and who was the main players in this whole situation from loyalists begging for his approval and attention.

~SPN~

"And it is written, that the first demon shall be the last seal."

Lilith was dead but he was free, her sacrifice at the hands of the only special child to survive Azazel's plots and schemes was the one to do it. This was the one who was now entitled to be his true vessel. A boy tainted with demon blood and a temper to match. It was perfect. But first he needed a body, a willing vessel to assist him in moving about on the human infested Earth.

Lucifer remembered when Earth was beautiful. When it was pure and free and glorious to relax on. Gone were those days and to never come back so long as the humans were here. And so long as they were present, he cannot go home. This whole thing, the Apocalypse was a situation with so many different reasons the whole thing was reeking of corruption and doubt.

The Angels wanted it all to be over, they wanted the Apocalypse to happen and allowed the seals to be shattered.

So as far as Lucifer was concerned. It was meant to happen.

Perhaps now Michael and the others have seen to the full extent that he was right about humans. About all of it. It was something to look into.

On the night of the thirteenth of May, Lucifer appeared to the man called Nick Pellegrino. A victim of a crime and his own sorrow and grief, his weakness that made him an easy target. A temporary vessel to contain him.

The idle conversation and introduction lead to the beginning of Nick's confirmation.

“You people misunderstand me. You call me "Satan" and "devil", but... Do you know my crime? I loved God too much. And for that, he betrayed me—punished me. Just as he's punished you. After all, how could God stand idly by while that man broke into your home and butchered your family in their beds?” And Lucifer spoke the truth because he knows the truth of how things work. He didn't have to lie to such a broken human. The truth was horrifying enough.

With the guise of good Nick's deceased wife Sarah, he remained at Nick's side. Nick didn't look at him, sorrow and loss forcing his attention to the floor.

“There are only two rational answers, Nick—either he's sadistic, or he simply doesn't care. You're angry. You have every right to be angry. I am angry, too. That's why I want to find him—hold him accountable for his actions. Just because he created us doesn't mean he can toy with us, like playthings.” Lucifer promised because who wouldn't want answers and have someone to be held accountable?

Lucifer also wanted to see his Father and ask him why does he love such a filthy race more then his angels. Why want them, who's better in so many ways to bow down to such filth.

Nick wanted his family, asked for them.

But for what Lucifer wanted to do, bringing them back wasn't an option. If Nick had his family then he won't allow Lucifer in.

Nick of course accepted that answer, too hurt to push and too broken to fight beyond this point. So in the end Nick said yes and Lucifer made the conscious decision to give Nick what Lucifer wanted. Justice and then peace.

Lucifer sought out the man who broke into Nick's house and killed his wife and child and let Nick do what he wanted to do to them underneath all his pain and sorrow and the wish to die.

With that done, Nick's soul was put in a state where he would be reliving his happiest memories. Holding his baby, marrying his wife and every other pleasant memory. Lucifer was not unkind to make it as unpleasant as he said it would be. If anything it was a mercy, a gift because he said yes. Nick was essentially going to commit suicide and that was no small thing because there was one place the fool would have gone then. So he should be grateful because this was as close as he was going to get to Heaven and he would be peaceful so long as Lucifer inhabits his body.

Now that he had a body, he moved forward with his plans and goals. But this body won't last.

And it didn't.

Events moved forward, manipulation and pushing his will onto his true vessel gained a yes for the wrong reason. Sam Winchester wanted to throw him back in the cage, but lost a simple gamble and Lucifer had control. Michael's true vessel remained defiant to the end and Lucifer's older brother had to settle with Plan B.

It should have been an easy match, Lucifer would have won because he was wearing his true vessel and Michael was not.

But that didn't mean he didn't try to reason. He did.

“Think about it. Dad made everything. Which means he made me who I am! God wanted the Devil.” Lucifer knew he was right, he knew it. It was right there in his words. God, their Father made him the way he was. He must have wanted this to happen, wanted Lucifer to stand in this quaint cemetery on a soiled earth filled with humans that showed their colours so well in so many bloody and destructive ways.

Of course Michael wouldn't bite. Lucifer should have seen that coming.

“We're going to kill each other. And for what? One of Dad's tests. And we don't even know the answer. We're brothers. Let's just walk off the chessboard.” It was a suggestion, Lucifer knew that it wouldn't happen. Because he was perceived to be the one at fault. The one who was wrong. But all he did was show everyone willing and smart enough what humans were like. He showed what would happen if you made a conscious choice of loving your father before the chosen favorite.

Hearing Michael call himself the good son made Lucifer sick, angry and that old feeling of betrayal twisted in his cold grace. A grace that used to be as warm as any other angel's. Hotter still. But those years of having been in a cage alone and isolated from everything he held dear twisted his grace enough for him to burn cold.

Not to mention the torture he practised.

“But you don't have to follow them.” And Lucifer was right and Michael should start learning to listen to him.

“What, you think I'm gonna rebel? Now? I'm not like you.” Michael's words felt like an insult. They were. Lucifer didn't count himself as a rebel because he did what he believed in. Choose to love one more then another then made the decision to show why you shouldn't love these things that were nothing but mud underneath their feet.

“Please, Michael --” Lucifer hated that he said those two words, begged because the one who was right shouldn't have to beg. But he did, Michael was just too stupid to know that Lucifer was right. He really was starting to feel cheated here.

“You know, you haven't changed a bit, little brother. Always blaming everybody but yourself. We were together. We were happy. But you betrayed me -- all of us -- and you made our father leave.” Michael's words turned Lucifer colder still. Michael believed that the whole thing was his fault. How could he change when there was nothing wrong with him! He didn't blame others out of childish behaviour, it was truly their fault. Not his. They were happy, yes but that was until humans came along and everything went wrong.

“No one makes Dad do anything. He is doing this to us.” Lucifer said. He was right! He was. Dad left because he would rather be away and perhaps around his new favorite children rather then his first set of children. The better ones.

“You're a monster, Lucifer. And I have to kill you.” Michael said, like he thought he was right. Lucifer saw no more point in trying to win anyone over. Saw no other point in trying to make his brother see.

“If that's the way it's got to be... Then I'd like to see you try.” His words, to him they were the law. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way because of the interference of another older sibling. This time the older brother of his true vessel. Dean Winchester with the help of a rebellious angel and an older man Robert Singer. A father figure to Sam Winchester.

Then the worst outcome happened.

Sam Winchester managed to regain control and Lucifer was stuck in front row for a moment watching memories and then a falling sensation. He was being thrown into the cage. Only this time he wasn't alone.

This time Michael came with him. Michael and two souls.

If Lucifer knew he was going to have company, he would have cleaned the place up a bit before leaving.

He couldn't keep his true vessel for long, somehow the rebellious angel resurrected the body of Sam Winchester right the cage. But the foolish angel left the soul and the next short while he had new bunk buddies. Michael, little Adam Milligan and Sam Winchester. He didn't have to touch Adam, because the body kept burning up and being repaired by Michael over and over again because the cage was always burning hot while Lucifer burned cold. It meant there was no form of comfort for anything here. There wasn't meant to be.

This was Hell and it was called Hell for a reason.

Even after Sam's soul was stolen, Lucifer didn't stop tormenting his roommates as best that he could. Michael fought back though. But it didn't make a difference. When Lucifer grew bored of tormenting a passive aggressive and scrappy older brother, he turned his attention back to his true vessel and projected himself as best that he could through the small barely seen crack made by the resurrection of Sam Winchester's body.

He tormented his favorite bunk buddy until that too was taken from him.

But just because you lose something, time won't stop for you. It didn't when he was betrayed and lost everything. It won't now. Events kept moving forward, but Lucifer wasn't as keen on paying attention to those. Instead he took out his frustration at losing what he considered his property and knowing that as time went on his claim to that vessel diminished.

So Michael and Adam felt the effects of his temper.

It wasn't until he remembered one simple thing. When one door closes, another must open no matter if that door leads to something good or bad. It must open. The door that closed on him because of the events he should have paid more attention to, was Sam Winchester. But because of those same events moving along, he gained a new potential vessel.

All because of the Mark of Cain.

Dean Winchester now possessed it. No doubt for revenge, for the upper hand in the events that now turned the earth into a battle field. Lucifer did what he could to concentrate on projecting himself onto Dean, make sure the boy could see him. Do to him what Lucifer has done to Sam.

Sometimes it wasn't easy, Michael was an opportunist with a sadistic streak of his own. Lucifer's wings were suffering for it. New wounds were open and raw. Adam's soul now forgotten and neglected. A shrivelled thing curling in on itself as far away from them as it could.

But none of that mattered, pain was nothing new.

Instead he focused on making himself noticed this time as he greeted the pained human before him.

A polite “Hello Dean.” was all that he needed.

When it was apparent that Dean knew who he was, knew without a doubt what was standing in front of him Lucifer couldn't help but smile.

When one door closes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it's apparent that it's going to be more then two chapters at this point. This chapter was just me getting to know Lucifer though. Well the version in Supernatural anyway. But from here on out there will be more Dean and Luci interactions so that should be fun so bare with me here.


	3. Chapter 3

The whole day, the last three days ended up being horrible. And that was putting it mildly. First there was the nightmare that led him outside, where he met face to face with Lucifer. Or a hallucination of Lucifer. Not the Lucifer who wore Sam to an incomplete climax of an apocalypse that was truly only a stand in for a family feud. But the vessel of the other guy before Sam, Dean didn't know who he was, didn't want to know. It would make it just one more person that got screwed over by angels fallen or otherwise.

Closing his eyes, he remembered that first conversation outside of the bunker when his arm burned and felt like something was twisting inside of it.

_“You know, I never thought you would make a decision like that.” Lucifer said, sounding closer and Dean looked up only to be unnerved with how close Lucifer managed to get. Dean knows he shouldn't have let that happen, knows he was trained better. There was a smugness seen, one that Dean wanted gone. But it won't._

_So instead Dean focused on the words that were just spoken instead. Making sure to remember them. He might need to, they might be important and that was the insane part, that he was trying to memorize what an hallucination said to him. The hallucination of an enemy._

_Dean pushed that all aside, there were other things he had to focus on like why was he here. How was he here and why Dean was hallucinating about him of all people._

_“Thought you were locked in a cage.” Dean forced out. All the while questioning himself on why he was openly talking to a guy who wasn't supposed to be there. Lucifer all the while, smiled like an indulgent adult to a child. Dean glared. He hated that._

_Faintly he wondered if this meant the cage was weakening. Did Metatron's spell do something to cause that?_

_“Don't worry so much, you have other things to worry about then little oh me.” Lucifer taunted, knowing full well what Dean was thinking or meaning. But that was true for a hallucination. Right?_

_“Yeah, that so? Humour me Mr. Jagger.” Dean forced out, even his hallucination should understand what he wanted to know and what he meant when he said 'humour me'._

_A smile. It was obvious that what he said was understood, the name used and what Dean wanted to know._

_“I have to say. You're going to be fun. Not quit as fun as my old bunk buddy of course, but who knows. That could change.” Lucifer said, a smile on his lips and Dean seethed where he stood. It just goes to show though, take a jab at the devil and he seems to poke back just as hard if not harder._

_To bring up Sam. There was no harder way to hurt him or force him to back off._

_Dean wanted nothing more to lash out and at the same time, wanted the ability to go back inside but the door was locked and he didn't know if Sam would be able to hear him knocking._

_“Get some sleep Dean, you look tired.” Lucifer said, but it wasn't out of kindness. Dean knows that it because that was just something Lucifer didn't do. Any kindness or supposed fairness he showed Sam during the Apocalypse was a way to manipulate. To get what he wanted._

_So then, what did he want?_

Not to long after that, Dean remembered that he got back into the bunker with no problem. Like the door never closed in the first place. It made Dean question what he saw. And made him wonder if it was real or not. After all you would think that if he was going to hallucinate then Lucifer would be in the form of Sam, something that would bother Dean the most.

Dean almost forgot about those episodes if not for the situation with Magnus the guy who got kicked out of the Men of Letters and recently lost his head. Literally. It wasn't Magnus that reminded, it was his actions. What he did.

_“Abi, ab oculis meis!”_

_And just like that Sam was gone and it was only Dean. Dean, Magnus and the First Blade._

To think they fell for such a humiliating situation like that. To think that _he_ fell for something like that! Dean felt anger curl in his stomach at the mere memory of it. The Mark of Cain in it's longing burned as a response. Dean did everything to ignore both. Instead he laid on his bed, headphones on and trying to drown out everything.

But not succeeding with memories.

_“Oh, you're a really sorry piece of work. You know that? Holed up in here, doing nothing. You bitch about the Men of Letters. You're way worse.” Dean accused, angry and bitter at the situation he was in. Hating the fact that he swore that he saw something move in the corner of his eyes. He didn't move to look though. His attention was on the man in front of him._

_The man who didn't acknowledge what Dean said._

_“Should we fire it up? What do you say?” Magnus said, holding up the First Blade and Dean eyed it suspiciously before turning a glare on Magnus._

_“Go to hell.” Dean's only sentiment at the moment._

_“Oh, come on, Dean. This is the object of your quest. Tell me Henry Winchester's grandson isn't curious to see if it works. Give me your hand.” Magnus said and Dean couldn't help but thin that the man had no right mentioning anyone in Dean's family. He wanted to cut the man down._

_The Mark of Cain throbbed in either agreement to Dean's wishes or throbbed in need for the blade that was suddenly forced into his hand._

Dean found he couldn't just lay there with memories like this creeping up on him. He had to move, had to busy himself and ignore the need in his arm. The longing for a blade stolen by Crowley. With rushed movements Dean moved from his room to the kitchen and pleasantly surprised at the emptiness he found. Something that could do with the light snoring he heard from Sam's room.

Fixing himself a sandwich he eyed the mark that openly mocked him thanks to the short sleeves of his t-shirt. It was an AC DC shirt found at a thrift shop and bought for an easy five dollars even.

Dean could remember the feeling and rush he got when he gripped that blade, albeit without his consent at first. The power and pleasure, the promise of pain and blood that came with it. It felt like Hell licking at his heel's and that wasn't the part that bothered him. It was the fact that something in him felt farther away the more he held that blade, the more willing he seemed to want to be for it.

His whole body was battling the effects.

“Face it, it felt good.” Lucifer's voice said, Dean almost felt like those words curled around him. Tightening and Dean spun around, bread knife in hand and no one was there. Dean knew he was losing it. He must be.

The Mark of Cain throbbed in need.

Dean shushed it with a tightening grip on the bread knife, a placebo for now. Something to hold, something sharp. Dean forced himself to turn around and finish the now unwanted sandwich.

This was the third time Lucifer spoke to him, or the hallucination of him. The first was outside of the bunker. The second was when Dean held the First Blade for the second time. And it was easier to hold it that time.

_Dean thrashes angrily as he watched Magnus cut his brother, more then once. Dean wanted nothing more then to cut Magnus down. Wanted to show him why you don't mess with his little brother! Dean had no problem with the notion of breaking Magnus to a sobbing mess at his feet if he had to, if that was what kept the insane man away from Sam._

_“Look.”_

_One word, Dean recognized the voice and before he could say something to the unwanted individual who showed up again, Dean noticed where Lucifer was pointing._

_Crowley._

_It was thanks to that demon that Dean was free. It took the time of those chains falling to the ground for Dean to lunge forward, grab the blade and take it to Magnus's throat and lopping off the head of the man who dared take a knife... Take something. Trespass where he doesn't belong sounded better._

_The Mark of Cain burns hot and cold and Dean tightened his grip. The power..._

_The hunger..._

_Dean notices the demon and he notices behind him Lucifer. Crowley didn't move, Dean could practically smell the curious caution that surrounded the demon, mixing with sulphur. Lucifer just smiled, found the situation interesting and amusing and Dean didn't care._

_His mind, his instincts were set on kill. The blade, his blade can help him do that. Quench a thirst Dean didn't know he had._

_There was a questioning look, 'are you going to go through with it' and 'would you dare to' from Crowley. A dare in Lucifer's. Daring him to do it, test his mantel against the demon. Kill the demon Dean swore to kill after Abaddon. A demon this blade hungers for. Hungers for her death. An imprint of a last will as it's owner from Cain himself._

_“Dean? Dean. Hey, it's over. He's dead.”_

_Dean knows this. Turns his attention to the blade. It's so hot and it's so cold. It felt more alive and deadly at this moment. The blade almost felt sentient and Dean didn't know he liked it or wanted it to end or if he hated it._

_“Decisions, decisions. I'll let you think about that, until then. Will you listen to Sammy or the First Blade. Your blade.” Lucifer's words but they were barely acknowledged as Dean kept staring._

_“Drop the Blade, Dean.” Sam..._

_Dean didn't and he didn't k now if he wanted to. He felt eyes on him, he wanted them gone._

_“Dean!!” Sammy..._

_Dean found himself, forced himself to look up. Look at Sam. Sam held eye contact and just like that Dean felt like words spoken in a kitchen were lies and Sammy was there. Sammy wanted him to let go of this thing._

_“Drop the blade.” Sam repeated._

_Dean did while drawing his right hand to his chest, it won't stop shaking. Withdrawal? Pain? Dean didn't know what, didn't care to find out. Instead he helped his brother out and Dean flinched when Sam picked the blade up._

The drive back to the bunker was a silent one, Dean remembered Sam glancing at the Mark of Cain a few times. Was Sam really starting to wonder just how dangerous this thing must be? Did Dean even understand the full extent of how bad this could be.

Should he tell Sam about Lucifer?

In the end when they got back to the bunker, they fell back in a bitter silent anger mindset that was familiar and unwanted. Normal for them. Dean tended to his baby. Sam went to the library and life carried on.

They have yet to hear from Castiel, Dean had to say he was worried for his friend. It was funny in a humourless way that he phoned a demon more then he phoned Cas or prayed to him.

“How is that plucky little angel doing?” Lucifer's voice, it sounded more solid this time. Not a whisper in the ear. Dean spun around, knife still in hand. A placebo. Not that it would do anything to the creature-hallucination sitting at the kitchen table, relaxed and eyeing him with amusement. Not even looking at the blade.

“He's fine.” Dean snapped, wondering if Sam heard him. He listened carefully and it would appear, so did Lucifer. What was he playing at? Did he think he was amusing or something?! Dean wondered if it would be safe to turn his back on the fallen angel aka the hallucination that shouldn't be with Dean. Or Sam, or anyone. Why couldn't he just rot where he was with Michael.

After a few heartbeats, Dean did and finished putting his sandwich together and taking a bite, it didn't taste as good as it should be.

“Is he still rebellious? Enemy number one now?” Lucifer asked and Dean didn't answer, instead he took another bite. Ignoring Lucifer's existence and wondered if he saw an annoyed look right or if it was in Dean's head. Which was comical at best considering that Lucifer was a hallucination. What else could he be.

“How about Hell, what's been going on there?”

Dean refused to answer.

“Sam, how is our favourite little angst ridden selfish child doing?”

That one hit the mark though, Dean turned around and glared at Lucifer who held his hands up in sign of meaning no harm. A lie, because that was said with that thought in his head. That or just for the sake of reaction. And what did Lucifer know, Sam wasn't selfish. The kid could be pretty selfless when he wanted to be and he most certainly wasn't small.

Dean had to bite his tongue to stop himself from losing himself. Snapping, snarling. Yelling even.

“Listen, I'm just trying to make conversation. I'm bored and you need to talk obviously. Bottling things up isn't very healthy you know.” Lucifer said, but make no mistake. Dean wasn't under any impression that the man cared. He didn't. In fact the only part that seemed genuine in that sentence was the fact that he admitted to being bored.

“You want to talk. Fine, let's talk. But it has to be a bit of a quid pro quo Mr. Scratch.” Dean snarled. What was he doing! Dean figured it mus be because he was tired. There was no other way he would agree to this. He didn't even agree to the same sort of situation when Alastair offered him the chance in exchange for an hour of painless rest. Dean screamed his secrets anyway.

A smile. Smug at best, amused as well. Dean didn't like it.

“Okay but I get to start, keep in mind I'm a hallucination according to you, so how do you know that I'm telling you the truth. I bet that's the exciting bit.” Lucifer said, indicating that Dean was to sit down. Dean eyed the chair that was indicated with suspicion. How could he not? In the end he sat down with his tasteless sandwich that seemed so promising when he first decided to make one. But seeing this guy, the guy who was just one of the ones involved in ruining his and Sam's life did that to you.

Dean was just glad he wasn't responding worse then a bit of attitude.

“Fine, fine.” Dean agreed and pushed his sandwich aside. It held no more appeal to him. Sam would complain at him come tomorrow when he finds it uneaten on the table.

“I knew you could be fun.” Lucifer amended.

“Whatever, get one with it.” Dean snapped, wanting to get this over with and then he could go on and figure out how to get ride of Lucifer. Maybe Cas would know? Or Sam, but then he would have to grow a pair and open up. Admit to what was going on in his mind and what he was feeling in certain regards.

“How does the Mark of Cain feel, how did it make you feel?” Lucifer asked, sounding and even looking curious and Dean couldn't stand it. The idea of this thing, hallucination or not, being curious in what's happening with Dean. It would be as bad as Crowley asking, or worse for that matter.

And not to mention it was a tough question, one Dean didn't want to answer. He refused to answer that because as far as he was concerned it was no one's business. Maybe Sam's but no one else has the privilege of knowing that answer. No one needs to know.

So there really was one thing to say to that.

“Fuck you.” Dean snapped, forgetting himself and once again listening for any sign that Sam heard. Dean couldn't shake the feeling like this whole situation was quickly becoming or is a shameful secret. He wondered if Sam felt the same when he was hallucinating about Lucifer?

And just like that, any chance of passing questions back and forth was gone. He was not going down that road with someone like Lucifer. For all he knew the guy passed on the Torture 101 to his demons who cultivated it and worked it in with the rack and everything else that's not so nice.

“I'm a hallucination Dean what's the harm in telling me, I can't hurt you. I can't use the knowledge you would tell me. You might even learn something, someone to bounce your thoughts off. I might even teach you something because you like your lot has a subconscious and that holds more knowledge then you realize. Everything you have read, learnt and so on, so forth.” Lucifer said, explained and almost seemed annoyed with the lack of co-operation he was getting. Dean almost half expected to be told off for being not co-operative. Or something along that line.

Not that he cared. And there was a reason for that.

“You're also the guy who is deemed as a god to demons, I remember a conversation that made that clear. You're connected to them, means...” Dean forced out, making sure his voice was quiet so it won't catch any unwanted attention. It was bad enough that he was more or less humouring a hallucination at the moment.

“That I would know torture, that I would be able to hurt you because it's perceived to be in my nature?” Lucifer finished the second Dean started to trail off in what he was saying.

Dean didn't realize it until a pitying glance was given to him. He nodded his agreement.

“You're forgetting something, I was once an angel. The most loved. The most beautiful. There is a reason my name translates as 'The Morning Star' or 'The bringer of light' as a reminder of what I lost. I was the brightest Archangel there was. One of seven.” Lucifer explained and Dean refused to acknowledge it. It reminded him too much of that sympathy for the devil stuff that was spewed the last time he was in 2014.

“Doesn't change a thing.” Dean snapped, once again forgetting to be quiet.

“It changes everything. I don't like to torture Dean, that's not my gig. I kill, I slaughter but torture isn't option one for me.” Lucifer corrected and Dean didn't even know why he was listening. Or if this was the truth. Sam as always, popped in his mind. Sam was so broken and tortured when he got his soul and memories back. So he must have been tortured.

“Bullshit.” Dean said, memories of Sam going through his hallucinations and how broken he was when Castiel broke the wall in Sam's mind. Dean left the kitchen at that, not caring what Lucifer would say to that or if the other was following.

When Dean reached his room there was no sign of anyone. Dean was once again alone with his thoughts and more questions then he wanted to admit to having. Questions, concerns and guilt. Not to mention, he had a feeling that things were going to get worse. This was a warm up. For what and how and why, Dean didn't know but he knows something's happening and coming.

And he didn't have to know about the civil war with angels and in Hell to know that.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a productive night, Lucifer had to admit that to himself. Even if it wasn't in the direction he wanted the eldest Winchester to go. But it would make things slightly easier. All he had to do was use what's been given to him unknowingly. Dean has yet to tell anyone and Lucifer unlike when he was with Sam, avoided distracting Dean when around people. 

He was playing the moral support system and information that Dean doesn't believe is in his subconscious. Which it was, the boy has learnt a lot of things over the years both as a hunter and as an apprentice of Alastair. Unfortunately the PTSD and Apocalypse distracted Dean from what knowledge he's gained in favour of the right thing to do. Granted, Lucifer used his own intelligence to string Dean's rough knowledge together and he was more clear headed then the torn and angst driven human. 

It only proves who's superior. But alas, humans have their uses too. After all there was a lot of situations in human history where it's showed the use of monkey's. 

“Fuck...” 

Lucifer's attention drawn from his own thoughts by one crude word. Dean stopped what he was doing and leaned against the borrowed car. Not to much of an obvious classic, didn't want to draw attention but nice enough. Dean gripped the area with the Mark of Cain, no tin agony or anything. Lucifer no longer had to tether a link between himself and a mark that he owns. So it was no doubt out of habit or just the need to ground himself and the denied knowledge of his addiction as unwanted as it was. 

Crowley was right about that. 

Lucifer remembered the conversation between Crowley and Dean that was broken up simply by moving to different places in the bar. Crowley wasn't holding his punches in trying to get to the Winchester's good side and doing it in a way that would almost be acceptable to Dean from a demon. 

“Tough swallowing a bit of truth that came from a demon? Perfectly understandable for a hunter.” Lucifer commented, leaning with his back against the vehicle and crossing his arms giving Dean an amused and pitying look. Dean won't take kindly to either and the glare he got from it was his response to that look in kind. 

“What's with you creeping tonight, I saw you all night and yet all you did was the creepy angel like staring thing that happens.” Dean's words were strained. Lucifer ignored that part in favour for one simple thing. 

The boy was avoiding the question, the truth obviously hurts enough for that. 

“I didn't want to interrupt you girls from your talk. So talk to me, what are your thoughts on the fact that he spoke the truth in that regard.” Lucifer pushed. 

“It wasn't the truth. I'm not addicted to that.” Dean snarled, angry and muscles tight. Spoiling for a fight. 

Lucifer will give him one or at least help him find one. If it comes to that. He wants to see his newly chosen vessel in action and he wants to see it properly rather then a little decapitation here and a stab there. 

“I know, I believe you. But I wasn't implying you had an addiction. Whether or not you do or don't that's between you and yourself.” Lucifer soothed as he watched Dean climb into the vehicle, Lucifer was already waiting for him. The passenger seat was his. 

“Then what were you implying?” The need for a fight still boiling under the surface and laced in each and every word. Lucifer was thoroughly amused by that. 

“That you are in fact afraid.” Lucifer pointed out calmly, making sure Dean heard him correctly while watching as Dean brought himself to starting the vehicle and pulling out to start heading back to the bunker. 

“I'm not afraid!” Dean nearly yelled, stressed and losing control. His mind, Crowley, Sam and the civil wars breaking out are wearing on the human in ways he didn't want to admit to yet. Not to mention there was also the Mark of Cain and it's sweetly spoken whispers and temptations. It's needs. 

Lucifer shakes his head and shifts so he's looking at Dean directly, back towards the passenger door. 

“You are. You are so afraid that you are allowing a lowly blood addicted demon hold the blade like he has the right to.” Lucifer stated with a confidence in his voice that could be hard to ignore, making sure to not taking the bite out of his own words and making sure Dean knows he's not happy. Though Lucifer would allow Dean to just assume it was for any reason, it didn't have to be the truth. Lucifer just wanted his point to get across. 

Lucifer smiled in response to the sneer that curled Dean's lips. A look that disappeared just as quickly. 

“Does it bother you that much?” Dean spat out, his own amusement curled in the words and Lucifer didn't have the heart to reprimand him for the misjudgement and attitude. 

Lucifer just didn't respond, instead moved so he was sitting properly in the car. He let his own silence be whatever answer Dean wanted it to be. 

Sitting in this car was nearly comfortable, not the actual act of course. But the knowledge it holds. In the drivers seat was his older brother's original plan A vessel as Sam was originally Lucifer's plan A. But with the Mark of Cain and the Trials that Lucifer felt even from where he was seated, came a change. The playing field shifted and changed. And Michael grew solemn in the knowledge that his to be edge in a fight was no longer his. 

Not that he got it in the first place. 

Dean was rebellious enough to pull in the opposite direction of heavenly plans. Feeble and amusing, but enough to drive a wrench into things. With help of course, just not Heaven. Lucifer just didn't count on Sam adding his own wrench to the whole mess. Dragging the four of them down into the cage. Two Archangel's and two humans. 

The bunker was in view. 

“You know the greenhorn hunter wasn't a hunter right?” Lucifer chose now to start the conversation. 

“What?” The car slowed, Dean was paying more attention to Lucifer then to driving. Doubt on his face. Lucifer can cure that though. 

“It was a demon, Crowley's no doubt.” Lucifer stated as the vehicle came to a complete stop. Dean didn't move from his position. Hands on the wheels and eyes towards the direction he was originally going. 

Dean's expression said more then enough. He thought Lucifer had the nerve to lie to him. So wanting to believe that it was a hunter he stopped from going into the bathroom earlier this night. 

“I'm not lying to you. I don't lie.” Lucifer pushed and watched as Dean thought back through the night and to his brief conversation with Jack the Hunter. He watched as Dean put it together, now that he wasn't distracted by the little things. 

“Fuck...” Belief was a beautiful thing, even Lucifer could agree and state that with certainty. 

“Yes, you were played. And you went with it so willingly it was laughable.” Lucifer explained, though he didn't need to explain in the first place. The expression was enough to tell him that the boy understood perfectly fine. Angry no doubt at the fact that he was played and that it took a supposed hallucination of Lucifer to point it out to him. 

Dean looked resigned and pissed at the same time. 

“Doesn't matter... Played or not. Abaddon will be killed and so will Crowley.” The words were hissed. The need was still there, but it was cooling off. Which was too bad, but the night was young still and bunker or not things could still happen. 

“You sound sure of that.” Lucifer said, voice curious enough to be considered innocent or as innocent as someone like him could appear. 

“They will be. I'm sure of it.” Dean stated firmly as he pushed the vehicle into motion again. Lucifer just nodded his agreement. That wasn't the ending that Lucifer was counting on, just part of it. But he won't say a word of it. 

Nothing else came up, Lucifer followed and at times mocked certain things within the bunker. Sometimes getting annoyed reactions out of Dean. Sometimes, though rare, he got amusement. Frustration and anger came when it came to personal things, showers and bed or even masturbation. Lucifer sometimes would give the boy privacy and sometimes refuse to knocking the balance out from under Dean. Just for the sake of reminding him that Lucifer could. Those were minor. 

Those were innocent moments compared to what he could do. But his own words stopped him. For now. 

Even dreams were not safe from Lucifer's prying eyes. He may avoid distracting or bothering Dean while other people were around and he may not torment the boy like he did with Sam. It didn't mean the dreams were off limits. Lucifer was curious by nature and even though he knows the answer and can figure things out for himself, he still liked to explore and poke at things verbally. 

So he followed Dean into his very dreams. 

It was like stepping through a door. Going from the bedroom within the bunker to a skewered place that consisted of several places that didn't match or click into place as easily as they did in their original placings. 

Lucifer saw a charred house that sounded like it was still burning. The front of the house was gone, letting Lucifer see inside and all he had to do was look to what used to be a baby's room to get confirmation of which house it was. A burnt form of a woman was still stretched out on the ceiling. Images and knowledge that was burnt into a four year old's mind and only matured with age. 

To his left he saw a darkened forest, red eyes peering out from between the tree's. It had the stench of death and despair to it. The roots of the tree's stretched outwards to where Lucifer stood. It was amusing. 

To his right was a rusted shell of a car. The impala. That was a bit surprising. Lucifer had to approach it and run his hands over the rough feel of what used to be Dean's pride and joy. From where he stood next to it, he could see words carved into the metal. Quotes. Every thing that was said that wounded Dean deeply. Most of them were from family. From his Father. From his Brother. From Bobby. 

Lucifer could almost sympathize. 

The last part of this meshed world was the bunker. It looked like the earth was reclaiming it as weeds grew near the entrance, breaking through the man made area. The door was gone and Lucifer entered. It was there he saw Dean in his sleepwear. The Mark of Cain bright and calling. Lines of red spread out on his arm. The man's attention was on that mark and not on the company he shared in this dream. 

Normally Lucifer knows that Dean's dreams were actually memories and they play back for Dean every night. 

This was new. 

Lucifer walked around the room, the library. Everything looked old and broken down, the lights were dull. It looked more haunted now then it did when it was discovered. Behind him was the entrance to the Bunker, not in it's original place but Lucifer knows well enough that dreams never follow the logic of reality. 

The table had names carved and stained brown from old blood. Names of people Dean knows. The dead had lines scratched through them. Lucifer picked up a knife and dragged it through the last person who died on Dean. Kevin Tran, the prophet. 

“How...” 

Dean's voice, small and afraid. Lucifer smiled momentarily before turning back towards Dean. The boy was looking at him. He was confused, hurt and no wall placed up while awake could protect Dean from his own emotions. 

“You have a lot on your mind Dean, pressure of reality and that mark. It's no surprise that you're dreams are no longer open memories carving wounds over wounds. Instead they are a mixture of things in your life.” Lucifer offered as an explanation. It was partially true, what he said could affect dreams like this. But normally you don't experience them like this. Dreams are fleeting, dreams don't linger and you don't always remember them. Dean will remember this or he will remember some of it. Too early to see for sure and Lucifer was curious to know. 

“I'm surprised that I don't see...” Dean started to say, most likely surprised that he was talking so openly. Speaking without attitude or anger and hatred directed towards Lucifer. He was still blamed for a lot in Dean's mind. Lucifer could deal with that, what's a few more things to be blamed for. 

“Hell? Dean Hell is just what you're feeling now. Hell is all of this and it could be so much more and so little.” Lucifer finished while offering up another explanation. He had no problem explaining and teaching. He was good at it. Sometimes that was his job, taken up by himself. Teach others what they did wrong, what was wrong and how to do things properly if need be. 

“There's no rack or... or...” Dean pushed, not believing what Lucifer said even here but not fighting what was said. It was a good sign. If Dean was so open in his dream then that would stick to his subconscious and Lucifer could mold it during Dean's conscious moments. 

“Demons?” Lucifer asked though he knew the answer. Dean was expecting demons among other things. Things that hurt and could be used to hurt him with. 

A nod. 

“But you feel isolated and that's enough. Hell is that isolation, you know this. The pain you suffered before at the hands of Alastair was just another version of it. But during that whole time, your brother was alive and away from you. You could not reach him and you were allowed to see him for brief moments but could not reach him. The torture wasn't what made it Hell for you Dean. You know this better then most.” Lucifer was practically spelling it out for Dean. It was a reasonable explanation and even though the torture was what hurt him. It was the isolation and thinking that thirty years passed topside as well. That he was forgotten and Sam lived his own life away from Dean was what did it. 

A nod. Confusion was a beautiful thing and here, Dean was so open it was tempting. 

He let Dean stand in silent contemplation for a moment. Lucifer crossed his arms and leaned against the libraries now carved up table. Watching Dean, watching the emotions. 

“I saw the impala outside. Sad state she's in.” Lucifer stated and watched a flare of anger swirl up in Dean, the shadows reflect that anger by shifting further into the room. Just a bit of symbolism though. Lucifer liked it though. 

Lucifer could only hear the words that were carved into that car. Dean no doubt was hearing them as well. Anger curled even further. Dean was a spring that's being tightened even further. And the fun thing was, Lucifer barely had to do a thing. The Winchester's were good like that. Lucifer only had to herd them and poke at necessary places. They did the rest and the situation's they find themselves in helped. 

“It's okay Dean, it's all going to be okay.” Lucifer promised. 

~ The Morning After ~

It was amusing to watch Dean wake up angry and not know why he's angry. Scrambling and reaching for anything that lingers from his dream. Lucifer found that he almost wished for Dean to remember the dream, but what was said will stick all the same. Lucifer made the point to remember the setting they were in while Dean was dreaming, to use it again and again. And every time Dean closes his eyes to sleep. 

The words would stick soon enough. Their conversation as open as it was. 

“So what's in the busy schedule for today?” Lucifer pondered as he followed Dean around. It annoyed Dean and that was a cheap amusement but one that Lucifer will keep for the moment. 

“The usual, research.” Dean snapped as he pulled out the chair and continued on with his work. Lucifer made sure Dean knew what his opinion was on the matter, even pointing out his own thoughts on nearly everything that was read. Sometimes even giving helpful advice but that advice wasn't useable in finding the location of Abaddon. 

To be honest, he could probably tell Dean where he should actually start searching. But why take away the work and victory from the two Winchester brothers? 

It wasn't until later when Sam arrived back at the bunker and took a pile of folders himself that things got interesting. Lucifer sat back and watched and listened. His favorite moments sometimes was watching the interaction between the two. The failing kinship and brotherhood, too much pain and strain on their bond now that it could go two ways. 

It could snap or it could rebound. It won't do both. 

“You were right.” Sam stated, Lucifer could hear it in his voice. Something is disturbing his ex-bunk buddy. 

“About what?” Dean asked, most likely genuinely curious because of the fact that Sam admitting that he was right no doubt. 

“Finding Abaddon ASAP. She's mining souls.” Sam explained and Lucifer frowned. To him that was cheating, not that he was one to talk. If he could do something like that he would have and in a sense already have. But his is so long ago and what he's done is pretty much the foundation to what Abaddon is trying to build on. 

The part Abaddon clearly didn't know about, or so far she didn't let on knowing, was one simple thing. The fact that in order to be a supposed Queen she would have to make a connection. A deal you could say with one of Hell's original owners. One of it's original rulers besides Lucifer himself. 

And that would be Hel herself, the daughter of Loki or more openly known as Gabriel now. And that would make her Lucifer's niece and ruling Hell is pretty much a family business. The Winchester's should sympathize with that, given their family job and the fact that the eldest is holding onto that as if it were a lifeline. 

Whether or not Abaddon finds out or gets that blessing would be something to see as things unfold. How Crowley managed to successfully proclaim himself the King of Hell was something of a mystery considering how far he's fallen and how ungracefully it happened for the lowly crossroad demon. Getting high off of human blood of all things. 

Lucifer made the conscious decision not to let go of this information at the moment, keeping it close to himself in case the future requires him to reveal it. If he were lucky, he won't ever have to utter a single word on the matter. 

“To create an army.” Sam's voice broke through Lucifer's thoughts and with those four words bringing up to speed on the conversation that was simmering to concerned and uncomfortable silence. 

Lucifer made the decision to leave, he will come back tonight when the eldest Winchester dreams or if he is alone. But for now, he will let the two human boys sit with the impending doom they no doubt feel coming. 

Where they see doom or unwelcoming events. Lucifer see's opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't be updating this story for a little bit. I want to see what's going to happen next in Supernatural before I do anything more. Trying to use bits and pieces of the current canon of SPN lol. All the same though, hope you enjoyed the chapter and the story so far.


	5. Chapter 5

Within three weeks since finding out about Abaddon's mining souls and building her army from scratch nothing much has happened when it came to hunting or finding anything in regards to Abaddon's whereabouts. There was barely any word from Crowley either, Dean made sure not to contact him unless it was absolutely necessary. He didn't want to deal with that demon at the moment especially after the bar fiasco.

In his own personal life on the other hand. A lot has happened. Just nothing Sam was openly aware of. Might be suspicious but beyond that nothing was said.

Lucifer was in his dreams now, has been for the last two weeks that Dean could remember. The dreams were a mixture of three different places and it was always just them. All that happened was just talking. Sometimes verbally fighting and Dean found that he dreaded those fights. Lucifer was very, very good with his words and he knew how to cut Dean with them and how to make them stick. Dean did piss the fallen Archangel off a few times and woke up screaming with the feeling like he was being torn apart, tortured and sometimes an ache from being violated. All phantom pains from old memories from his time with Alastair.

It left him more wary of his hallucination then Dean wanted to admit.

Is this how Sam felt in the start before things got so bad his little brother all but shut down? Will Dean one day shut down? He hoped not, Dean had responsibilities to take care of. Things to look after. Sam to watch out for, they might not be brothers in a sense according to Sam but that didn't do anything to stop the instinct in Dean.

Dean was glad that so far those fights that left him screaming in the mornings and gasping for air that couldn't come quick enough didn't happen during the day. If anything Lucifer was nothing but polite and at times almost helpful during the day. It was unsettling. Dean hated to admit though that at times the guy had a wicked sense of humour.

Dean wasted no time to make use of the showers after another night filled with just one dream, one calmer then most because of idle chit chat that was away from anything too personal and thankfully Sam wasn't brought up. Dean found he rather liked the showers here, they were a good way of waking up and collecting himself. The pressure was pretty awesome as well, it was good to soothe out stiff muscles and relax his body enough for him to make himself seem awake and functional despite the alcohol you could smell from his breath from late night drinks and early morning wake up gulps.

In the mirror and not for the first time his eyes travelled to the marred area on his arm where there was the M ark of Cain. The mark on his shoulder from when he was raised from Hell was no longer as dark and didn't stand out as deeply as it used to. Still it served as a reminder that he was saved and the one who saved him was there somehow.

With a tired sigh, he got dressed and met up with Sam.

Another day. The only difference was Sam was on the phone with Castiel. It was good to hear from the angel again. And it was even more amusing to learn that he was getting the hang of technology to some extent. No doubt still awkward with it but at least now he probably doesn't tilt his head at it trying to figure which was up and down.

That phone call led them in a direction for the first time in three weeks.

It led them to Ogden and to Gadreel.

It led to Sam being forced to go off to find Castiel who hasn't showed up in the city he was supposed to end up rather then the town he was at when the angel phoned them. All the while leaving Gadreel alone with Dean. A cold surge of satisfaction swarmed in Dean as he looked at the fallen angel restrained and helpless before Dean.

“Just like you like them...” Lucifer's voice floated down to Dean. Above him the fallen Archangel was perched and poised in excitement. Dean pushed himself to ignore and not engage Lucifer and instead focused his attention on Gadreel who looked back at him steadily enough. Whether that bravery was real or fake, Dean will find out soon enough.

Sam was thankfully gone for this.

“So, he acts tough, and you show kindness. Is that how this works?” Gadreel stated. Dean felt the welcomed weight of the angel's sword that was tucked inside his jacket. Dean heard a knowing chuckle from above and ignored that.

“No.” Dean corrected, knowing his eyes would reflect the darkness he was now feeling in regards to Gadreel. Without missing a beat, Dean continued, “See, I don't care whether you talk. You're gonna pay for what you did to him... and Kevin.”

And that was the truth.

Dean may not have experience torturing an angel simply because Gadreel fittingly was his first. But Dean knows how to cause pain and he was going to use that. He was going to make Gadreel bleed.

Gadreel tried to keep quiet at first, but pain was pain and it didn't matter what you were. You feel it and eventually you react to it with more then flinches and grimaces. Dean kept silent so long as Gadreel made no sound beyond a gasp. Dean only speaks first if the one on the unfortunate end of his tools makes a proper noise first.

Drawing the angel blade, his blade, deeply across Gadreel's arm finally forced a proper noise out. An agony filled scream. Dean ignored the satisfaction he felt at the sound. Ignored the clapping he heard from above. It should have bothered him more that he had an audience that only he could see.

“Word around the campfire is, you let the snake into the garden, ruined it for all humanity.” Dean made sure his words were loud and very easy to hear and understand over the gasping he can now hear. Made sure he was loud enough for his unwanted audience to hear from above.

“I set them free. I loved humanity!” Gadreel declared, still gasping. This was probably not turning out like he might have hoped. Dean on the other hand couldn't complain in the least. He may not be getting answers or the answers he wants but this was better then nothing at the moment.

“Well, you sure got got a funny way of showing it, asshat. Now, look, you tell me about this 'getting back into heaven' crap and I'll end this quick. Otherwise, you can sit here and rot in those chains forever. Up to you.” Dean replied, he couldn't help it. And at least now he was getting to a point where the actual questioning will happen and Dean had plans on what he can do to make those answers accessible to him.

In the back of his mind, he was tempted to ask Lucifer about his point of view on the whole apple and snake thing.

“All your talk, all your bluster... you think you are invincible. The two of you against the world, right?” Gadreel started and Dean turned his back on the angel bound in a chair. That was a dangerous place for the angel to go. And a dangerous place for Dean, Sam was the few things that could make Dean snap. Gadreel obviously knows this.

“Damn straight.” He said anyway facing away from Gadreel, not moving just idly toying with the tip of the angel blade in his hand. It was clean of blood and for a split second that was a sad sight for the blade.

“You really think Sam would do anything for you?” Gadreel's voice carried over Dean's shoulder and Dean felt cold because of it. The argument he had with Sam was back in his mind and Dean could feel that his face was showing that. With some experience, Dean forced those walls up and pushed away the broken expression he had no doubt he was wearing before facing Gadreel again.

With more confidence then Dean felt he said, “Oh, I know he would.”

“I have been in your brother's body, Dean. He would not trade his life for yours.” Gadreel pointed out and Dean fought down his anger.

“Well, thanks for the rerun, pal. Sam's already told me all that crap. Hell, he's told me worse.” Dean wasn't telling lies when he said this, Sam and himself has had some pretty nasty clashes both physical and verbal.

“He told you that he has always felt that way, that he thinks you are just a scared little boy who's afraid to be on his own because daddy never loved him enough? And he is right, isn't he? Right to think you are a coward, a sad, clingy, needy...” Gadreel said, confident sounding and Dean stared blankly back. It was all that he could do to keep from snapping. But Dean liked to state that even he didn't have that much control.

It was proved when Dean's fist met with Gadreel's face causing the angels mouth to bleed profusely. Odd that it didn't hurt as much as it should have. Gadreel's face bled more then Dean's fist. Lucifer landed softly on his feet off to the left, curious and amused. He knows something's up and Dean didn't care at the moment.

“Keep it up!” Dean threatened. Anger now having a major say in what Dean does now.

“Pathetic bottom-feeder who cannot even take care of himself, who would rather drag everyone through the mud than be alone, who would let everyone around him die!” Gadreel insulted and Dean felt that anger turn colder to the point it was now choking his insides and making the thought of killing Gadreel outright more and more tempting.

In fact, Dean even goes so far to take the blade that was held tightly in his hand and swing it towards Gadreel's chest. Fully intending of sinking it into the angel's stolen flesh when something interesting caught his attention. Caught his and Lucifer's attention if the chuckle was any indication.

Gadreel closed his eyes.

Dean stops the blade, not letting it touch Gadreel at all.

That got an instant reaction as Gadreel opened his eyes in a very welcomed and panicked, “No. Do it. Do it! Kill me!”

Dean won't kill him. Not now anyway.

“Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? That's what that whole speech was about? You're not afraid to die, are you? You're afraid to be left in these chains forever. Well, you can sit here and rot, you son of bitch.” Dean's voice was as cold as ice at this point. Dean was going to refuse to give Gadreel the satisfaction and release of death.

Instead he headed to the bathroom.

Dean didn't really do much in the bathroom when he got there. Just put his blade down and his phone. The Mark of Cain was throbbing and calling to his attention at the moment. The temptation and the need he had because of it. Lucifer stood leaning against the sink next to his, arms crossed and relaxed. Disapproving of the state of the bathroom but uncaring at the same time. Dean could sympathize with that to some degree but he's seen worse too.

“What next?” Lucifer asked, Dean could hear he was very curious in what Dean had to say for an answer.

Dean glared at him, refusing to give him an answer. A verbal one at least. Gripping the Mark of Cain his mind was made up on what he was going to do next. It wasn't going to be pretty either. But then this part of his job never was. Grabbing the angel blade and not realizing that he left his phone behind Dean headed back to where Gadreel was restrained.

The next few hours was a blur filled with anger, pain and exhilaration. Lucifer's laughter and suggestions. Gadreel's insults and sounds of pain. Dean's insults and angered words.

It wasn't until he heard his name being called that Dean pulls out of the state he landed himself in after everything was said and done. Dean only partially takes note of the fact that Sam rushed towards him, panicked and concerned. Like a brother.

“Dean. Hey! Are... are you okay?”

Dean could hear it in Sam's voice, concerned. Dean would have smiled at the concerned and let himself feel the relief that it brings him but he doesn't. Instead he notices his right hand was all bloody. The blurred hours still in his mind enough to give him an idea of what happened.

Sam seemed like he was going to say something else, force answers perhaps.

“Yeah. Yea. You got to stop asking me that.” Dean said, he tried to make sure there was nothing too rejecting or cold in those words. Trying not to push his brother away now that it seemed like he was just getting him back again. Dean wondered if Gadreel was right in what he said.

“I've been calling you. I mean, w-why didn't you, uh...” Sam said, though by the sounds of it the whole situation was becoming more and more apparent to Sam. Dean wondered what he saw when he looked at the whole picture. Dean wondered where Lucifer was, it was only the three of them now. Dean and his brother along with an unconscious Gadreel.

An unconscious Gadreel who looked bloody and was a sad and broken shape on the ground. Dean wanted to ask if he did that but that was an answer that Dean already knows.

He did that...

Instead he carried on and let Sam know that Dean didn't find anything out. Sam already figured that as well.

“He wanted to die. And I was gonna kill him. I was. But then I stopped 'cause I k now we need him to talk.” Dean didn't even realize that some desperation he was obviously feeling slipped into his words.

“Dean, listen. Metatron has Cas. He's offering up a trade.” Sam was merciful enough to not acknowledge the unintended emotions Dean let out. Instead keeping up with the conversation and letting Dean know of the new developments. New developments and plans. Not to mention if this was the only way of getting Castiel away from Metatron then they had to do it.

Castiel was a friend.

Because he was a friend, they tolerated waiting around for Metatron and bared the humiliation of a plan not working. Getting Castiel back from the guy was worth it in the end. They will get Metatron, Gadreel, Abaddon and not to mention Crowley but today obviously wasn't that day.

_“Because I can. Because you and your little brother and your fine, feathered friend and all those secrets you've got locked away in your bunker can't stop me. But I am gonna enjoy watching you try. It's gonna be a hell of a show. I'll see you around, Castiel. Never forget I gave you a chance.”_

Metatron's words as arrogant as they were when he said them kept playing in Dean's head as they spoke to Castiel before going their own way. It was begrudgingly sad that Castiel wasn't going to come with them, but maybe it was for the best as well. It wasn't like he wasn't a phone call away and Dean could always phone his friend.

Right?

Apparently though Metatron wanted to play God and Castiel was now seemingly caste into the role of villain. Or at least that's what Dean was assuming. He could be wrong. It didn't matter though, Dean knows what they had to do and made that clear.

Sam was a bit shocked by it, even going so far as pointing out the insanity of it through a relevantly calm star wars reference. What was shocking to Dean though was the fact that Castiel understood it to some degree at least.

“You sure you're all right?” Dean pushed, when did Castiel know pop culture references all of a sudden. Especially considering Castiel probably never saw the movies despite how popular they are. He was an angel and didn't fully understand the importance of watching movies like that. The distraction they promise.

“Yes. Are you? There's something different about you.” Castiel insisted, though Dean felt uncomfortable with the fact that Castiel knew there was something different. Dean felt like he was going to be busted for doing something bad. This was worse then getting called to the principles office. Dean never cared for what they had to say anyway.

Castiel on the other hand...

Pushing that feeling aside he pats Castiel on the shoulder making the mistake of using the same arm that has the mark all the while saying what might be deemed as a patronizing “I'm fine” answer. In that moment his hand made contact with Castiel, it was captured in a firm grip as Castiel pushes up his sleeve revealing his latest possibly foolish decision. Dean didn't like how Castiel's eyes darkened.

“What have you done?” It wasn't a question, it was a demand. Castiel wanted an answer and he didn't want to wait for one. He wanted it now. Dean yanked his arm back giving him the patented answer 'a means to an end' that everyone will be getting if they keep going in the what has he done line of questioning.

“Damn it, Dean.” Castiel's voice held disappointment and much to Dean's disapproval concern. He had enough of that today.

Dean ended what could have been a half decent situation between the three of them as he stomped his way back to the drivers side of the Impala. Not caring that Castiel asked Sam to keep an eye on him. Sam would do that anyway. Dean was sure of it. They were close to being brothers again, Dean can feel it. He hoped for it.

The drive back to the Bunker was silent and Dean can feel how worried Sam was just by the constant look directed in his way as he drove. Dean didn't acknowledge it as he stared ahead. Idly wondering if this was a good time to bring up the fact that the Mark of Cain was having more of an affect on him then he thought.

But in the end, Dean decided to tell him tomorrow and not while they were driving.

Tomorrow...

Dean just hoped that he had the courage to do so.


	6. Chapter 6

Isolation.

Dean would have never thought that it would be a welcomed thing before. Dean knows better then anyone, he didn't like to be alone and preferred to have Sam and later Cas around in some way. Even Kevin was a trade up from isolation. It was Dean's dislike for being alone that kept him holding onto certain people. It was Dean's connection to them and what he feels regarding them that kept him from abandoning them when they need him. It kept him making the sacrifices that was needed to keep them, especially Sam, alive and moving forward. Not always happy and not without emotional injury but at least Dean got eighty percent of them forward.

But now...

Now Dean had his door locked and headphones on. Isolated from the rest of the world. And thankfully alone.

Dean refused to fall asleep though. He knows what and who usually waits there if he didn't show up during the day yet. Though the day was still young and there was still a chance that Lucifer would show up. Research on that matter didn't give him much, but it was always interrupted with the presence of Sam and the need to find Abaddon.

So he resorted to heading to the library after Sam goes to bed. Reading and researching what he could without making too much noise. The coffee machine became is second best friend in this situation.

Sam was worried, it was becoming more and more obvious as they day's passed. Sam was slowly forgetting the fact that according to Sam himself they weren't brothers, they were nothing more then partners or co-workers now. But then, instinct was hard to dismiss and there was a point in Sam's life when he would do anything for Dean. To protect or try to. To save him even though up to now, Sam failed in that.

“No...” Dean corrected his stray thought. Sam saved him more then Sam would ever know. He kept Dean from drowning in memories of growing up to fast. Of watching their father abuse alcohol and forget about being a father. Sam kept Dean from drowning in the horrors you see as a hunter, from his own memories of Hell. Of Purgatory even. Sam saved Dean in the ways that mattered.

Now he wondered if Sam could save him from this. But then that meant Dean would have to open up to his brother, speak to him about what's going on. Tell him the truth about whatever Sam wants to know regarding to what's going on now. Dean's mindset, his dreams and his unwanted guest. Which was the hard part considering the fact that Sam was hallucinating about the same guy at one time, was possessed and stuck in a cage with him as well.

Would Sam believe him?!

Would Sam be able to handle it?

“I know what you're thinking.” A voice drifted through the headphones. It was then he realized that the playlist was finished and there was no more loud music drowning out the sounds of the world that still reached Dean even in here.

Without showing much emotion Dean reluctantly pulled the headphones away from his ear and failed to fight back a frown when he took notice of Lucifer sitting at Dean's desk, greeting him with a friendly wave.

“And what am I thinking?” Dean humoured Lucifer, it was usually the easiest way to go and when Dean doesn't want to deal with the hallucination of Lucifer doing everything in it's power to force Dean to respond. Something that never really happened around Sam unless the man's back was turned.

“You're thinking about telling your brother about little ol' me. I can tell you now, it won't work. And this is where you ask in return _'but Luci, why won't that work'_ which would then get a very well drawn out and logical answer of – are you with me?” Lucifer was rather enthusiastic when he spoke sometimes, if he wasn't who he was Dean would probably find it more amusing then it is now. Unfortunately Dean felt his phone vibrate, making the fallen archangel to stop his explanation to check if Dean was keeping up with the one sided conversation.

It was Cas.

Dean wanted to answer the text but instead waved Lucifer into continuing because as soon as he gets this done then perhaps Dean could find something better to do then listen to Lucifer.

“Rude Dean-o.” Lucifer chastised and it was times like this that reminded Dean who this guy was related to. Dean wondered if it was done on purpose or if it was subconscious or if this was all in Dean's head. Imagined and not real.

“Says the hallucination that doesn't know how to stay gone.” Dean snapped as quietly as he could. It earned a chuckle but there was a glint in his eyes that told Dean that the time he used to actually catch a couple of hours of sleep would be riddled with the consequences of his attitude.

Nothing was said at the moment.

Then a smile and Dean tensed. A sense of wariness crept into him.

“Forgot to ask you how was your hunt Dean? Did you enjoy killing the vampire. I certainly liked the – what did you call it? - oh ya, snappy one liner. 'Look at me, bitch' very classy. And did the vampire look you in the eyes as you killed it?” Lucifer all but purred out, Dean could pick up the cold laced in and underneath every word that was intended to mock.

“Yes.”

The answer came without thought, without realizing that he answered until the word was free in the air between them. When Dean saw the satisfied look on Lucifer's face. Satisfaction and amused. Dean felt his throat tighten. Disgust and the truth of the situation with the vampire situation now adding to everything else.

“Did you enjoy it?” Lucifer's next question had him glaring angrily as he sat up, putting himself in a position where he was eye level with Lucifer rather then leaning back on his bed. A flimsy attempt at defence against that question and whatever it could bring Dean.

The answer to that question was yes, he did and even Sam knows that he enjoyed it. Dean justified it and that was probably the dangerous thing of that situation. One justification was all Dean needed to start a habit of it. Justify killing more and more monsters, then comes other things.

Torture...

Humans...

Dean wondered how much of it was him and how much of it was the Mark of Cain?

“Why won't Sam believe me?” Dean asked instead and wondered if this was another bad decision. Dean frowned inwardly at his own self doubt and double guessing everything. Also knew that he would need another drink soon. When he didn't get an answer quickly, Dean rolled away from Lucifer and stood up with every intention of leaving his room and chosen isolation. Dean touched the door handle when a voice followed him.

“Because if you tell him all you will be doing is setting him up for failure. He won't save you, there's nothing to save you from.”

Nothing to save him from? Dean frowned at that, what did Lucifer mean by that. Turning around Dean noticed that he was once again alone. Left with his thoughts and questions. New questions that only piled onto the old and unanswered ones. Like it usually is.

He needed a drink. And badly.

Dean moved without thinking. Barely breathing and trying to think about how and the why's of what Lucifer said. Dean didn't want to admit that Lucifer's words were as sharp as Alastair's knives sometimes. The only thing that broke him out of the autopilot that had him moving towards the garage where his Impala was parked safely.

Unfortunately when he entered the garage he wasn't the only one there.

Sam was leaning against the driver side of the car. Dean's first instinct was to fuss over Sam, he looked tired and needed to get some sleep. But since Gadreel that wasn't something that happened, it was quickly becoming something abnormal between them. And living in a life where the abnormal was normal, it wasn't a good sign. Sometimes even Dean needed something normal. Sam usually was that normal.

“We need to talk...” Sam started, he was tense and cautious. Sam probably knew by now that there was only one place this would go. Talking was never a strong thing between them and perhaps that was Dean's fault. But he learnt at an early age you don't talk about things. Bury them and carry on. A tough lesson to learn when you're only five but Dean learnt it well. He had more important things to worry about anyway.

“'bout?” Dean felt himself get defensive. His words and the way he stood reflected that. It most likely had to do with the whole vampire thing. At least Jody and the girl were okay.

“I think you know. The last hunt, the vampires. The whole...” Sam started, to Dean it sounded like he went over this conversation in his head. Rehearsed what he wanted to say. There was a time when that wasn't the case.

“Look at me, bitch. Ya, I know Sam. But we covered that. It's not a cri...” It was clear Dean was frustrated, it was evident in his words. It was the first short step before anger.

“It's not a good thing Dean! It's not. First comes saying it's okay to enjoy killing monsters, justifying it. But what about the time with Ed and Harry. When you killed that guy, Roger. He was only hu-” Sam pointed out, he had a point he was getting to and Dean didn't want to hear it.

“I'm not going that route. I know what you're getting at Sam. We both have seen it in other hunters. Gordon. Ya, I know. I'm not like that.” Dean defended, he wasn't like that. Dean was better and he was worse then that. The Mark of Cain should be testament to that.

“You already justified killing Roger.” Stubbornness was a key trait of a Winchester, with that five worded statement Sam proved that trait didn't skip him and Dean had to stop himself from glaring. It wasn't easy.

“I stand by what I said there Sam. People are sick.” Dean snapped, angry and arm pulsing. In the back of his mind he added a last part to what he said, added _'I'm sick'_. But that was something Dean wanted to keep to himself.

Sam opened his mouth to say something else, Dean cut him off by opening the driver's door and glaring at his brother all the while. He wasn't going to talk about this any more. He already has enough conversations with Lucifer that leaves him feeling worse and torn and divided because sometimes he agreed with him.

“I'm going out, probably won't be back until morning.” Dean said, there was a time when they told each other where they were going. Dean liked to think that it stopped when Ruby came along but truth was it was fading even before that.

Sam didn't stop him. But looked disappointed as he stormed out of the garage.

Dean drove quickly and he didn't waste time when he got there. Ordering a drink even as he walked through the door. There must have been something about him, people avoided him even more then usual. That suited Dean fine. He took his spot in a booth.

He kept the drinks coming.

~ Time Skip ~

Blinding light and the throbbing of his head was the first thing he noticed. The uncomfortable flat mat underneath him was the second. Frowning Dean struggled to get up. The smell of old vomit and urine reached his nose as he looked around. Dean knew a drunk tank when he saw one. He's been in a few before. Usually it was his Dad who picked him up or Dean waited until he was released.

With a groan Dean forced himself to sit up while holding his head.

“Crap...”

Dean looked around, he was alone and isolated. Why was that? His hands were sore and he felt like he got in a fight. What happened? Looking down he noticed the red of his knuckles. Standing up slowly he approached the door making sure to catch someone's attention. Letting them know he's awake. Hopefully he didn't do anything too serious and they would allow him to go now that he was sober.

Not to mention he hoped they didn't impound his car, the things they would find in the trunk has him feeling panicked. How could he be so stupid?!

The sight of someone approaching the door with keys had him backing up.

“You're lucky your brother's here to pick you up.” The man, Dean notes as Officer Conrad, told him with annoyance. Obviously Sam pulled every trick he could to annoy the good officer to letting Dean go. But then, Sam was studying to become a lawyer so he had an understanding of the law that helped.

Best not to push his luck though, instead he nodded and followed the officer to collect his things. Nothing much just his phone and his wallet. No weapons? Was he that desperate to get out of the bunker that he didn't carry a weapon with him. How could he be so short sided? He could almost hear his Dad lecturing him of the stupidity of this whole situation.

“Uh, did I have anything else with me?” Dean asked, trying to play as calm as he could.

“No, why?” Officer Conrad answered briskly, suspicion in his eyes was obvious. Better not get caught for anything again.

“Nothing, was angry when I went to the bar and I don't know if I remembered to grab everything before I left home.” Dean explained, it was the truth and sometimes that was the best thing to do in situations like these. No need to bring attention by creating some lie.

The officer seemed to accept it well enough as he walked Dean to a very annoyed and concerned Sam. Dean felt guilty, it was a common emotion with him now.

No sign of Lucifer yet. The day was obviously young though.

It was a silent walk to the Impala, Sam went and picked it up obviously. Dean climbed into the passenger side when it was obvious that Sam was driving. He had a headache anyway. The second Sam closed his door though it was obvious this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation or welcomed silence.

“Officer Conrad was about to charge you with assault, property damage and public intoxication.” Sam's voice was loud due to the headache and the frustrated anger was clear in his words.

“Wouldn't...” Dean started off with sarcasm, it was a natural thing for him to do sometimes. Unfortunately he didn't get more then a word in when Sam's snarled response cut him off.

“Damn it Dean! How could you do something so stupid, we can't be bringing this kind of attention to ourselves right now.”

“You think I don't know that!” Dean snapped back, sitting up straight in his seat as Sam turned the ignition and started the Impala. It reminded Dean of an explosion at the moment, the headache was that bad.

Dean pointedly ignored Sam for the rest of the ride, they went their separate ways when they got back to the bunker. Dean to have a shower and change, take aspirin for his headache and make sure to drink plenty of water. It won't be until lunch and a lot of debating and cursing to himself that he found Sam in the library.

It was now or never.

He could have gone back to his chosen isolation but that was something Dean knew he doesn't need and he knows that he had to get this out in the open sometime. Why not when he has the will to do it and the control to make that decision?

His mouth felt dry, it was a harder thing for him to do.

“Sam...”

His voice must have caught his brothers attention, he stopped what he was doing. Taking a drink of water, he wished it was vodka or some other kind of drink. He needed liquid courage right now. He was sacrificing his pride and breaking a stubborn trait of his.

“What's wrong?” Sam asked, somehow they still knew each other so well that there didn't need to be many words to say you need to talk or if something's bothering them. Granted they never spoke of it, but they knew.

“Besides the usual screw ups?” Dean tried to joke, it came out flat. Shaking his head he leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.

Why was this so hard? To admit that his screw up was worse then anything that came before now. To admit that the consequences of baring this mark was worse then he thought. Or could be worse.

“Dean...”

“Cain, uh, Cain told me there would be a price to pay. Consequences... Burdens. I just didn't think it would be this kind of... problem.” Dean said, he told himself he was doing good. A full sentence and actually conveying a part of what's wrong.

“We'll figure it out Dean, figure out how to get ride of it.” Sam said, trying his hardest to sound reassuring. Or perhaps it was Dean's own mood that made that reassurance sound forced.

“Not just that Sam. It's not just that. I – I'm hallucinating. Have been for a little over a month now. It's gotten worse, slipped into my dreams. Waking moments, doesn't bother me when I'm around you or when I was around Cas. But...” Dean said it, he was proud of himself for saying it and that didn't last long.

Dread settled in.

_“Because if you tell him all you will be doing is setting him up for failure. He won't save you, there's nothing to save you from.”_

Was it true? Would he be setting Sam up for failure? Is there nothing to save him from?

“Hallucinating about what Dean?” Sam sounded concerned, sat up straight in his seat.

Dean opened and closed his mouth.

_"Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up... here."_

It was the same year...

Just a name. All he had to say was one name.

“Lucifer. I'm hallucinating about Lucifer, before he was wearing you...”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had every intention of doing this chapter only in Lucifer's POV, but the last episode had me tempted to find a way to write for Sam as well. Sorry this update took so long though and is slightly shorter then other chapters. The last little bit ha been busy at work due to being short handed and left me tired half the time.

Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. Fear. Guilt.

Those were only five of the things that clawed at Sam's mind as he sat in his bare bedroom at the Bunker. Weeks passed since that confession. Since he learnt a little new fact about his brother and what was going on with him.

Was he happy that his older brother trusted him enough to come to him with such a thing? Yes, Sam could honestly say that he was happy because he's waited so long to be trusted by Dean again. Especially like this, where Dean felt the need to lean on him for support.

Did that change the fact that he felt angry, hurt or betrayed by Dean because of the whole thing with Gadreel. No, not in the least. Sam was angry and he felt like he was tricked. He felt like his choice was taken from him. He knows it was ultimately his decision to say yes and to agree to live. But that didn't help him shake what he felt.

Since he learnt about the Mark of Cain, Sam was becoming more and more aware of things with his brother. Sure he didn't start researching right away. Didn't put too much thought into it because of the anger he felt. And Sam will forever feel guilty for that, if he paid closer attention to how his brother acted when Sam learnt of it, the offhandedness of the statement should have raised questions enough for Sam to search for answers.

But it didn't.

Now it might be too late to curb the damage it was doing.

Closing his eyes he couldn't get the images of what that mark and the blade was doing to Dean. First Magnus, but that was a merciful chop of the head. Abaddon had it worse. Not only was she killed but her corpse gained a thrashing after the fact.

_“First time I touched that blade, I knew I wouldn't be stopped. I knew I would take down Abbadon and anything else if I had to. It wasn't a hero thing, it wasn't.... It was just calm. I knew I had to go it alone, Sammy.”_

It wasn't a hero thing, it wasn't even a hunting thing. Dean was just calm from what he said. Sam was really concerned because of it. If he was calm from killing like that and stabbing at a corpse all the while painting your hands red as though it were nothing more then paint, then there was something wrong.

Calm was something a hunter should never feel when killing.

Calm was a bad thing.

Sam tried to reason with his brother, appease to him that Sam agreed with his actions and was glad for them but they had to get ride of the First Blade. Had to hide it away. In his mind when they had that conversation Sam was afraid and cursing his late actions in this situation. He even stared at Dean the way he used to, when Dean gave Sam everything he wanted even without asking. It might be a skewered version now with the amount of hurt in Sam and in Dean, but Sam hoped it would be enough.

It wasn't and it might never be enough again. Sam received one answer without hesitation or even anything that could have looked like contemplation in Dean.

That answer was: “No”

Sam felt like yelling at his brother, screaming at himself and crying. Drastic reactions, sure. But Sam wasn't stupid, far from it he liked to think. Dean never denied Sam anything, fought with him but always gave in. Dean was the one who fought against Sam when it came to his addiction to demon blood. Dean who held tightly onto the right thing to do especially after Hell because he felt like he had to redeem himself wouldn't have let himself hold onto something that could be an addiction.

Who was Dean now that could hold onto something that was becoming or can become an addiction. Who denied Sam's honest attempt to help and concern.

And if that wasn't the blade wasn't the only problem there was the Mark of Cain. Combined with the First Blade it did visible damage to who Dean is. Without the blade, the mark seemed to still affect Dean.

Dean was hallucinating...

Dean was hallucinating about Lucifer.

Dean was now carrying a burden Sam used to bare. Sam didn't see a sign of it before Dean told him. Sam didn't even see a sign of it after he was told besides a few distracted looks that clearly showed annoyance and once in a while there might have even been amusement. Lucifer had a pull though, he could make you laugh and scream in fear. Cry in happiness and plead for death.

Sam knows this. Intimately.

He had to find a way to approach that issue. Approach it in a way that won't drag up too many things Sam would rather not talk about or think about if he could help it. And since that confession, Sam kept up foolish silence when he should have said something. When he should have offered his support and promised that he would always be real to Dean.

Be his little brother when Dean needed him most.

Instead...

Instead he kept up what he hoped was professional behaviour as partners and not family. Instead he let his guilt suffocate him at night and try to ease it in the mornings with research and a common goal between himself and Dean.

Frowning as he sat up on his bed Sam realized he had a few options left to him. A few that could help somehow and hopefully fix things. Help Dean.

And more importantly...

Save Dean.

He could call Castiel, ask him about what he knows about the Mark of Cain. Ask him if there was a way to remove it. But then Castiel never offered help or advice or anything. Instead he just voiced a mild complaint, almost like what Dean did was no big deal. But it was. It is. Sam was sure Castiel cared, but he had other things he was obviously concerning himself with. So maybe that wouldn't be the best option, perhaps when Sam is starting to run out of things to try.

Sam will continue researching about the Mark of Cain, and maybe he could find Cain himself and ask him or force him to take the mark back.

There was also the option of asking Crowley. As much as Sam might hate it, Crowley was smart and he was connected in ways that would be useful. He knows about Hell and what that includes. As the demon if he knew a way to get ride of it despite the fact that Dean having the mark was partially his fault anyway.

Above all else, he had to remind himself to do the one thing that for so long came naturally. Perhaps not as natural as Dean, but enough that it felt true to Sam.

Be a brother.

It won't be easy at this point, too much has happened between them. Too much hurt, betrayal and pain shared and given to each other. But he had to. He just had to. The idea of losing his brother to the Mark of Cain and the thought of his brother hallucinating about Lucifer sent a cold chill down his spine that had him shivering and anxious with the need to move around and break the walls down that threatened to cave in on him.

There was also the problem of trying to figure out why Dean was hallucinating about Lucifer. Besides the few times they crossed paths, Dean didn't have any experience dealing with him or socializing with him for long moments like Sam did. Sam hated the fact that a sliver of himself felt a bit jealous because of the years he spent with Lucifer. It was foolish and so incredibly wrong.

He needed to know more about what's going on with Dean in regards to what he's feeling and what's going on between him and Lucifer.

With his resolve hardened enough to move himself from his room, Sam searched for Dean.

He just hoped that Dean was willing to talk after the period of silence over this issue between the two of them. Sam found him where he hoped that Dean wouldn't be. Where the First Blade was placed. Sam couldn't convince Dean to hide it away in another location so he managed to talk his brother into not having it in his room.

The way Dean stared at the blade, cleaned and looking almost harmless again.

“Dean...”

No response. Dean obviously zoned out or was ignoring him. So Sam tried again and again for good measure. Before he could call for Dean a third time, Dean looked up and seemed like he just noticed Sam standing there.

“What?” One word filled with everything Sam came to expect from Dean now. Only there was an underline of exhaustion that was more noticeable today then it usually is. It made Sam wonder how much sleep did his brother manage to get. Sam heard the faint echoes of screams last night.

“We have to talk.” Sam stated, it wasn't the smartest thing to say but it was blunt and with Dean sometimes you had to be blunt. Dean was the same, he had to be blunt with people in some situations.

Dean was going to say something, it was an obvious retort or joke to misdirect the situation. Dean did that sometimes but then so did Sam. It was a frustrating Winchester trait.

“About Lucifer. About the First Blade, the Mark of Cain.” Sam blurted out, successfully cutting off what Dean might have said. It was clear that this conversation would have Dean tense, especially if how he tensed up was any clear indication. But Dean followed Sam to the kitchen. They could have gone to the War Room. But that might seem like more of an attack and it wasn't something Sam wanted.

They sat across from each other, Sam could remember that this was the same table and the same positions they had when Sam effectively crushed his brother once already.

Telling Dean he wouldn't save him if they were in the same position. Only now Dean was in a position Sam once was.

Now Sam will make a liar of himself and try his hardest to save his brother.

~ Lucifer ~

Situations could be handled in several different ways. You could scream, cry and shout. You could whisper, soothe and comfort. You could even get angry and rebel. Become closed down and withdrawn or you could die or live. These were reactions everything living and even dead could experience. It was a common denominator in everything.

Situations could be self imposed, created and grown. By outsiders and enemies. Allies even. Family and friends.

For Lucifer it was a combination of a lot of things.

For Dean it was slightly more simple if not completely straight forward.

For Dean now it was raw and left him with a sore throat. Shouts and anger. Reluctantly calming down. Withdrawn as he finally co-operated with his brother in what should have been a calm conversation about hallucinations and addictions. Hell and it's calling. Dean spoke without emotion and didn't regard Sam's presence in the room as he stared at the ceiling of the kitchen they felt equally trapped in.

“So, Dean – was this what you were hoping for, when you said those ten words to Sam that changed the game of this whole thing?” Lucifer asked as both brothers heaved in exhaustion, distress and need. Sure the time Lucifer spoke of happened a good few weeks ago at this point if not a month. Not that it mattered as much as the act itself, the act of speaking of personal problems and situations.

A clear 'fuck you' was on the tip of Dean's tongue, the boy was so tempted to say it out loud but didn't want to risk the delicate situation he was in with Sam. Dean didn't want to seem crazy, not like Sam did. Crazy and broken.

“Dean...” Sam's voice sounded exhausted but still enough concern choked his older brother's name to draw all attention from Dean.

Dean said nothing and Lucifer watched with consideration and his full attention. Ready to take in the things Sam and Dean may or may not say and factor that into Lucifer's plots and schemes to get what he wants.

Freedom.

A vessel.

The completion of the task he started.

“Your argument with Sam itself should be a cause for concern. You both were going around in circles. The repression going on with your emotions and with Sam's emotions only seem to point to the impending failure.” Lucifer pointed out, knowing full well that the doubt that could be found in his own words would play in Dean's mind.

No one could hate or cause so much doubt and self loathing in themselves like Dean could. He will take what Lucifer said and it would stick around. No amount of stubbornness would eradicate the whispers that would remain.

“Dean. Do you – do you remember that you once told me that we keep each other human.” Sam's words were heartfelt, Lucifer could see that clearly and he could practically taste the underlining exhaustion that seemed to accompany Sam closely.

A nod from Dean and Lucifer crossed his arms, waiting to see where this will go before he says anything.

“Let me be your focus point, your morals. Let me be what's real. We'll figure this out Dean. I promise.” Sam said, trying to not sound like he was pleading. Like this was a last ditch effort and Lucifer figured in Sam's mind it probably was. There was instant protest born from stubbornness in Dean. But Lucifer has seen it with Dean many times now. Something about his little brother that could have him listen and shut his mouth. Sometimes.

“Try your hardest to listen to me then, when I ask something of you. Like to stop. Like to leave the First Blade here -” Sam clearly wanted what he was saying, Lucifer could see it in his eyes as he pleaded with his older brother. Trying to save him one step at a time.

It was going to be a situation that will prove to be amusing.

“Sam...” An attempt to deflect, a poor one at that. Lucifer couldn't help but make his own disappointment known and a promise to Dean that he would help him learn how to deflect properly. It would give Lucifer one tiny distraction in between his own attempts at figuring things out.

“Promise me you'll at least consider it then. I can't make you let go of it just like you couldn't make me stop drinking demon blood without forcefully making me go through detox. Promise you'll try to see things my way.” Sam's words were suffocating with the pleading tone that was taken.

Lucifer was both amused and annoyed. How the mighty has fallen. Sam used to be better crafted then he is now. But no matter.

“Sa-”

“Promise!” Desperation now, Lucifer knew that desperation well.

Silence. Lucifer waited to see what Dean would do now. There was no more room for discussion. It was agree or lose any ground gained here tonight. Lucifer was curious to see what it will be.

A sigh. Then one word.

“Promise...”

Lucifer shall see how that works out. Or more correctly how hard they will fight to keep up with the promises made tonight. Promises between the Winchester's tend to get broken though. There being here is a show of some promises being broken. And neither of them knew or understood the full extent of the hold the Mark of Cain had on Dean and his soul.

No one knew more then Lucifer at this very moment.

“This is going to be good.” Lucifer made that as a promise of his own to Dean and to an unseeing Sam.


	8. Chapter 8

Feeling torn was not something new to Dean. Anger was something old and familiar. Rage and pain, they were all a constant in Dean's life. Simmering at the start, buried deep beneath his skin and bones. Brewing since he saw his mother burn on a ceiling. Witnessed death at the age of four and a half. 

It only increased over the years. 

Most people who knew Dean and his brother, knew their history and who they were connected to. Michael and Lucifer. Cain and Abel. Heaven and Hell. They would all assume that it was Sam who had the temper, the one with the anger issues. And with Sammy's history with demon blood and snapping like he did during that time, they could have been somewhat right. 

But they forget about Dean's own personal anger. Personal fury buried underneath. 

The deal at the crossroad to bring his brother back showed a glimpse of it. 

Alastair carved away the gates holding it back. 

Purgatory cultivated it. 

The Mark of Cain was acid that was eroding the soft surface between his anger and everything else. It was simmering to the surface at a concerning rate. 

The point was, Dean was angry. Old anger, new anger and something new. 

Hunger. 

Not the hunger for normal things like pie or burgers, not a hunger for sex to remind himself what it's like to be touched and have that touch be pleasurable. 

But a hunger for blood, for death and not his own death. A hunger that has him wanting to sink his blade into something and kill it no matter who or what it was. He wanted to kill. 

Needed to kill! 

Dean was restrained and isolated in the dungeon room. The very one Crowley was bound and trapped while Hell fell into anarchy and chaos without it's King. 

Dean wondered if this was what falling felt like? Searching his own memories he didn't know if being dragged to Hell counted because he was dragged against his will. So did that really count? Dean doubted that it did, he did this to himself. He bared the Mark of Cain and wielded the First Blade all on his own free will, or what he hoped was free will and not a primal need and instinct nurtured by addiction. 

He couldn't be sure what was going on outside this room. He couldn't be sure if Gadreel was actually dead or just badly injured because of Dean's deception and attack. Dean could honestly say that he hoped that the angel was dead, Dean tells himself that he should have stabbed not slash. It was sloppy. 

The only problem was besides the hunger in the need to kill, he didn't know why he should be pleased with the angel's hopeful death. 

“No...” 

His voice didn't sound the same, it sounded small. 

“No. No, I know why he should have died, should be dead.” Dean corrected, this time he recognized his own voice. Understood himself better. Staring at the door, wondering when someone would come in and either lecture him some more or just let him go. Neither Castiel or Sam was pleased with what he's done. 

The sound of footsteps echoed around the room, a pacing hallucination of Lucifer. Dean wondered faintly if the isolation in this room was true because of his presence. 

“I don't feel guilty about it.” Dean said, words quiet but clear. Unfortunately he gained no answer from the fallen Archangel. Up to now Dean's been dealing with whispers, comments and conversations with this hallucination and now that Dean was isolated by his own brother and Castiel for killing an angel who was originally their enemy Lucifer was silent. 

“I shouldn't, Gadreel deserved it.” Dean stated and Dean believed his own words. No one else was jumping into his corner of the matter. 

“Why?” Lucifer asked sitting in an nonexistent chair in front of Dean. He nearly rejoiced for the promise of conversation. Something to focus on besides this hunger and anger. 

Sammy should be in here instead, helping Dean with that. He said that he would help Dean. But Dean knows, he knows he pushed his brother away by saying they weren't teammates. They were something less then that. Told Sam that this was a dictatorship and Dean was the one calling the shots. 

What did that make Sam then? Sam was his brother, should be his brother. Not a follower, not a servant or a soldier for Dean to use. 

“Because of what he did. Let the supposed snake into the garden. More importantly possessed my brother, killed using my brother's body. Sided against Cas... He deserved what he got.” Dean explained, passionately believing what he said was right. Lucifer nodded, not so much in agreement as it was an acknowledgement to what Dean said. Not correcting him, not making Dean's explanation any stronger or weaker then it was. 

Accepting it as it was. 

Dean opened his mouth to say something more when the sound of a lock being undone and a door being opened. It was Castiel in lead and Sam following. Behind him stood Gadreel, bound and bandaged. Glaring at Dean, but his presence means he probably will still side with Castiel. 

That could be a good thing right? 

Still, Dean wanted him dead and made that known to his brother and Cas. 

Two chairs set up in front of him and Lucifer was gone, back to wandering around only to stop momentarily behind Dean before carrying on. He now looked thoroughly amused. 

“I need to know why you did what you have done. Why did you attempt to kill Gadreel right after he agreed to help us, I barely was able to talk him down from leaving.” Castiel explained and Dean could hear the disapproval in his voice. Dean frowned at it, it was something that still bothered him for a reason Dean found annoying at the moment. 

“He deserves it.” Dean stated, it was something he finished telling Lucifer. Dean wondered if Cas knew about the presence of this particular hallucination. 

“No Dean, he didn't.” That time it was Sam and Dean found himself getting angry, after what Gadreel has done in Sam's body Sam was willing to just let that go and let the angel live! Of course Dean spoke up, rubbing in Sam's face what Gadreel has done while sporting a Sam-Suite. Sam responded in kind, not storming off in anger. Instead he reminded Dean that it was Dean's fault Sam was possessed. 

The argument only got worse after that. 

“Enough!” 

Dean and Sam glared at each other. Dean looking murderous and Sam wounded and angry. It took that one word from Cas to stop the argument but it didn't calm Dean down or Sam down. Instead Sam stormed out of the room, cursing and stiff. It was only Castiel in the room with Dean, besides the hallucination. 

“What has gotten into you Dean? You're different, the Mark and the Blade are affecting you but there's something more. I kno...” Castiel enquired and getting straight to the point, there was no asking how Dean was or if Dean wanted anything. Castiel only wanted to know what was going on that he didn't know about. 

“You don't know shit.” Dean snapped and was going to say something more if not for the fact that Castiel narrowed his look in disapproval and something that could be translated to the look a better would give a disrespectful nobody. Dean felt small. 

“I know a lot more then you like to recall Dean Winchester, so do not undermine that. Compared to me, you barely know anything. Now I will ask one more time, what has gotten into you.” Castiel said. Dean noted that he didn't raise his voice or yell. In fact it was calm and collected, for Dean that was the worst part. Dean would have rather had anger directed back at him so that he could feel like the anger he was dealing with was justified. 

Dean glared, angry and near spiteful. Whispers in his ear and the calling of the blade coupled with the mark made it hard not to. Dean had to fight with himself to claw his way past all of that and focus on Castiel who was patiently waiting for an answer and didn't seem like he would leave without one. 

Dean opened his mouth, but said nothing. It took him a total of five minutes of trying to get his mouth to work properly and past the anger. 

“Besides the usual?” Dean forced out and swore he heard Lucifer whisper that no matter what he says or does now, it won't change a thing and just like that it was only Castiel and Dean again. 

“Yes.” Castiel confirmed, a single nod to add to it. 

“Can you explain something to me then?” Dean asked. Like when he had to get over his own pride and the Winchester trait of not opening up, he would have to do so again but this time to the angel Dean considered close to being family and besides Sam and Bobby. That was as close as you could get. Dean just wonders how long his own sentiments would hold out. 

“What?” Castiel questioned, head tilted slightly but not enough to be classified as one of Cas's signature tilt of his head when curious. Dean would rather have that then the firm and constant stare that spelt out louder then words that Dean was still in trouble with the angel. 

“What – what's it like?” Dean asked, realizing he didn't clarify what he was asking so he added in quieter tone as best that he could, “To fall...” 

Narrow eyes, scrutinizing and concerned. They were also very guarded, like Dean struck a nerve. 

“You are not an angel Dean. You're only -” Castiel started to say, though Dean knows it's only a partial lie from the angel and that frustrated Dean to no ends. You didn't have to be an angel to fall. Dean just wanted to know what it's like. Perhaps Cas was trying to shield him from something. Himself maybe? 

“Ya well I don't feel human Cas. I – I want to kill something. I'm angry, I'm – I am hungry.” Dean interrupted, voice angry as he glared at Castiel before looking away. He couldn't stand seeing the scrutiny, concern and disapproval in his friends eyes. Dean was weak that way and he no longer felt as defiant as he was. 

“Side effects of the Mark of Cain, possibly the act of using the Blade amplified what you are feeling.” Castiel stated calmly before standing up and leaving the room as well. Dean demanded an answer to his question. He was angry that Castiel was walking away too. And despite the reassurance that the angel will be back. 

It didn't stop Dean from feeling angry. 

“Amplify what I'm feeling?!” Dean snarled at the empty room and closed door. Castiel's words playing back in his mind. The angel never answered his question. What was it like to fall. 

Dean wished for someone to answer his question, explain to him why the Mark was amplifying what he was feeling. If it even was int he first place. 

“Are they not answering your questions? I'm not surprised. The whole what's it like to fall is a pretty personal question. And the fight between you and them.” Lucifer's voice came from behind him and the sensation of someone putting hands on his shoulders. Hallucination or not, it felt real. 

But then, hallucinations always do from what Dean figures by his own experience. 

“So?” Dean forced out, shaking his shoulders once to try to dislodge the fallen Archangel without success. 

“I could explain it to you. But you have to do something for me.” Lucifer offered, but Dean knows nothing was for free and the fact that he would have to do something for Lucifer in return. 

“A deal?” Dean spat, he hated those especially when they come from someone who worked for Hell in some way or another. 

“A trade.” Lucifer corrected and Dean didn't agree with what it was called. A deal was a trade only you were trading your soul for something in return. But it did sound less threatening, Dean had to admit that. 

“What?” Dean asked, it wasn't a yes like Lucifer wanted. But Dean wanted more information to this 'trade' Lucifer wanted with him. 

“Is that a yes?” Dean should have known that it wouldn't be so easy. It wasn't easy to get things from Crowley or some lowly crossroad demon let alone the big daddy of demons. 

Dean couldn't bring himself to say yes to anything. Oddly he couldn't bring himself to say no either. 

“It's not for your soul Dean. Not for Sam's or Castiel's existence. Say yes for doing something for me and I will answer every and any question you can ever have.” Lucifer offered, Dean knows that this will be the best that he will get before agreeing. If he agrees to whatever this trade was for. 

Dean looked away from the hallucination that loomed over him now. He didn't know. This was a hallucination, but then why was it trying to make a trade. Not to mention, now that Dean thought about it there was a lot of things that happened in his dreams and his perception in regards to Lucifer that didn't feel like Dean figures a hallucination would feel like. 

But then, perhaps that was exactly what a hallucination was supposed to feel like? 

“And you'll answer every question I ask of you, with the truth.” Dean wanted confirmation, to know what he will be getting in return and make sure there's no loopholes that would allow Lucifer to not answer something.

“I won't lie to you Dean.” Lucifer agreed and seemed rather satisfied like he knew before Dean did that this would only end one way. 

“Yes or no!” Dean didn't care at this point if anyone heard him beyond that door. He wanted a yes or no and would yell and scream to get it if he had to. And he was prepared to do just that. 

“Yes.” Lucifer answered more amused then anything. 

Dean eyed him cautiously. Dean knows he's being reckless and he knows that this could possibly be a huge mistake on his part. Just another screw up that apparently was his fault. Even after everything he's done, things still seem to be his fault. 

So why not top all of them with this? 

“Fine, you have a deal. Yes.” Dean answered and watched as Lucifer's expression turn from satisfied to one that looked like someone victorious would wear. He seemed to have counted himself as a winner in his books, Dean didn't know if that was a good thing or a very bad thing. 

Only time will tell. 

“Perfect.” 

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” 

“Not yet, but I will and you will have to agree. Remember that Dean Winchester.” Lucifer stated as he stood up and took a few steps back. No doubt to leave. Dean didn't want him to leave, not yet. Dean had a question to ask and he wanted an answer and he couldn't wait until the next time the fallen archangel decided to come annoy him next. 

Lucifer waited, amused and waiting. Giddy no doubt on a victory only he seems to see at the moment. 

“Are you a hallucination?” Dean asked, most people thought Dean wasn't the brightest person. But in truth, Dean was pretty smart when he had to. Maybe not the same kind of smart like Sam, but Dean wasn't stupid and those who thought that he was were usually in for a surprise. 

A smile crossed Lucifer's face. 

“I was hoping you would ask that.” Lucifer admitted and Dean frowned, that wasn't a proper answer. 

“Well? Are you or...” Dean growled out, not liking the fact that Lucifer wasn't answering properly. Anger could be clearly heard in Dean's voice but he knows that it won't affect Lucifer in the least. The worst it would do was annoy him when the angel was feeling disrespected. 

“I'm not.” Lucifer answered, confirmed and Dean wasn't prepared for that simple answer that was far from simple. 

Dean felt himself get cold at that moment, he didn't know if it was because of Lucifer or if it was Dean himself and the dread and shock he was feeling at the moment. Other emotions will come later, they always do. 

Dean forced words out, they were quiet and not like himself. 

“Then what are you?” 

“An angel.” Lucifer answered, Dean knew he was being sarcastic but couldn't bring himself to respond to that as the angel who plagued him with mock hallucinations disappeared. 

Dean was alone again and this time with some clarity to his own problem in regards to Lucifer. Alone with the simmering but quiet anger. The hunger. The knowledge that he just agreed to owe something to Lucifer himself. He won't give Sam up! He won't, can't and Dean realized that this must have been some of what Cain was feeling. 

And Cain gave up Heaven. 

Quietly Dean wondered again, what was it like to fall. And Dean couldn't help but question how long would it be before he hit rock bottom. 

Dean sagged in his chair, ignoring the fact that he was bruised from the times he fought against the restraint.


	9. Chapter 9

Lucifer returned only to notice that Dean Winchester was no longer bound and not acknowledging Lucifer's presence. He was summoning a demon and Lucifer was well aware of who. The traitorous whelp of a demon, Crowley. 

“You could have just asked me whatever you wished to know, we have an agreement. I won't lie to you and I will answer any question you have to ask. All in return for a simple 'yes' to something I will be asking.” Lucifer stated calmly, frowning at being ignored. It wasn't like Lucifer was telling a lie, just omitting information. So that wasn't the reason why he was being ignored by a stubborn Winchester. 

“What the hell's happening to me, you son of a bitch?” Dean demanded of the demon that just arrived on the scene and already complaining. Lucifer could hear the fear and the loneliness that isolation and his own problem brought. He was surprised that he didn't confess to Sam about the fact that the boy was never suffering from hallucinations just like Dean wasn't. 

“He won't tell you.” 

“Liquor before beer, bad taco? How should I know?” Crowley answered and Lucifer felt annoyed. 

“I can't turn it off! Ever since I killed Abaddon, it's -- it's like this whole...other thing. I get this high and I-I-I need to kill. I mean, I really, really need to kill. And if I don't --” 

Lucifer at this point stopped listening. Crowley will tell the boy what he wants to know and like Lucifer will omit when it serves him best to fail to tell a sliver of the information that was required. 

“Tell you what Dean-o. You want to talk, we'll talk. When you're ready but don't forget we have an agreement and where this demon will lie to you. Omit information and go behind your back when it suits him best... I won't.” Lucifer promised for the most part, he will still omit information when it was required and for however long he needs to. 

From that point on Lucifer simply watched as events unfolded. Suspicions on how far along Dean was in regards to the Mark of Cain was confirmed when the glutton for unhealthy foods disregards the burger altogether. 

The boy wasn't hungry. Not for food and at this point it was no doubt more noticeable to Dean then it was before when he first cut into the gullible angel Gadreel. 

By the time Dean got to the location of the lead to Metatron's miracle job's Lucifer felt a pull to his attention. For the first time since he started to pay regular visits to his new favorite Winchester. Well, favorite until he was used to his fullest capacity then Lucifer has no need for him. 

Opening his eyes Lucifer was back in the cage and away from what's going on topside. 

“Michael, what do you want.” It was more of a demand then a question, Lucifer made sure it was blunt as well. No need to sugar coat anything here and between them. After all, it was the least he could do for the good son so willing to kill his own brother on orders. Lucifer glared for all it was worth. 

“You know what is going to happen with Dean Winchester, he will be useless to you now brother.” Michael stated, his voice cold and distant but Lucifer picked up on the taunt and mockery laced in and hidden poorly behind the mask his brother seemed to wear at all times. 

A shrug and flex of tightly bound wings that were cut into and damaged but menacing all the same. 

“Brother dear, let me tell you something. I am not a fool, nor am I a mere angel with party tricks like what you now see with the rest of the flock of angels who were caste out of Heaven by our dear Metatron.” Lucifer calmly stated, shifting to face Michael head on. Michael was still looking as fresh and clean as he ever could here. But he hasn't been here long, not like Lucifer has. 

Lucifer has not been so lucky. He now looks like being bound is a natural state for him. He's scared and disfigured. But he was brighter then ever, only his light shines it's darkness in the brightness of an angel. 

He was still himself though. 

He was still right about everything. 

“What have you done?” Michael demanded and Lucifer smiled. 

“Back up plans brother dearest, back up plans. The C's and D's that you never thought to think of. To preoccupied with the original A's and B's, big Daddy's plans and Apocalypse's.” Lucifer explained calmly and let Michael sit on what he has just learnt, no doubt filling in the blanks. Or at least most of them. 

“It will change nothing.” Michael stated and turned from Lucifer. 

That was fine, it won't change a thing because the plans and back up plans have been there for centuries now. So nothing had to change and it was the year 2014. 

Closing his eyes it was a means of following a trail back to Dean. Simple. 

“No-o-o!” 

Sam's distressed call was the first thing that he heard as Lucifer took everything in. How quickly things could change in the time he was missing from watching events unfold. Dean Winchester was against a wall in a warehouse with Metatron's blade buried deep within his chest. A gasp for air, eye contact made between brothers even as the life of one slowly ebbed away. 

If Lucifer had a heart, it would be a heartbreaking scene. Instead he just crossed his arms and waited because things were going according to plan. Sam tried his hardest to hold his brother's attention. Tried to attack Metatron only to fail. 

“I could have told you that you were setting your brother up to failure. This is just going to be one of those failures.” Lucifer commented, not quit sure if he was heard at all. Not that it mattered, time was ticking on by and things were going fine for Lucifer in nearly everything but one problem. 

He was still in the cage. 

Lucifer was in the cage and Sam was trying to save his brother, to stop the bleeding. There was a pang of jealousy in Lucifer. None of his brothers fought that hard for him. Not even their Father. Everyone was so quick to cast him out and send him from his home. Just because he talked a couple of naked apes into eating something they should not have. Just because he was disgusted with a creation their Father seemed to adore for some insane unsound reason. 

“Sammy, you got to get out of here before he comes back.” Dean's voice was weak, but he did his best to make eye contact to get his point across. Eyes only darting to look at Lucifer in seconds that Sam didn't notice because of other concerns. Eyes that mocked and told Lucifer that he won't get what he wants now. Dean knows he's going to die but the boy doesn't realize was that Lucifer always gets what he wants when plans are going right. 

And plans were going right so Lucifer didn't acknowledge it. Instead watched with keen attention. 

“Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shut up. Shut up. Just save your energy, all right? Oh, man. We'll stop the bleeding. We'll -- we'll get you a doctor or -- or I'll find a spell. You're gonna be okay.” Sam's words were desperate, his actions even more so. Lucifer just shook his head and crouched down beside the younger brother and eyed the injury for himself. It was bad, not something you could survive unless you were wheeled into the operation room at this moment. 

But that won't happen and words kept tumbling out between them. Heartbreaking words and resignations. 

Sam didn't listen and together they moved towards the exit in a slow and struggling pace. Dean Winchester couldn't stop the sounds of pain that escaped him even if he wanted to and Lucifer could tell that he did, wanting to spare his brother of hearing those sounds. 

“Sam. Hold up. Hold up.” 

That was the voice of someone who knows it's the end. This was going to be his good bye and Sam would have no choice but to listen because this was the end of the line for Dean as himself. Lucifer stayed out of sight, a moment of mercy or something had him giving them a moment just for themselves. 

He wasn't that cruel after all. 

“I'm proud of us.” 

Lucifer turned his back and curled his fingers into a fist. Jealousy was something he could not break because when has a brother showed such things to him. Lucifer himself showed more mourning and sadness for his brothers then others have for him. Gabriel being one of them, something that had to be done but that did not mean that Lucifer didn't regret that it had to be done. 

The sounds of pain could be heard behind him. Not physical, not completely. Heartbreak like this could cause physical pain and Sam Winchester was once again experiencing that pain. Lucifer couldn't have done it better himself. 

Opening his eyes he watched his brother for a moment, human soul cradled and wounded in his arms. 

“Favouring the pet now?” Lucifer taunted and earned a glare for it. 

“Do you realize that you are still trapped Lucifer? Here, with me. Whatever you're doing will not work and is for nothing.” Michael calmly stated as he shifted carefully, one of his wings looked like it was picked at. Feathers cleared from one area. It wasn't uncommon for an angel to pluck their own feathers when trapped and isolated like this and Michael was all but isolated even with Lucifer's presence because Lucifer ignored him. 

Isolated his dear brother emotionally. 

He had other things to worry about then tending to his sibling. 

Lucifer waited and he waited until it was obvious that it was once again necessary to visit Dean Winchester. 

He wasn't alone and this time it wasn't Sam who was keeping the cooling corpse company. A hallowed out possibility with the Mark of Cain sustaining it with a withering soul curling and tainted black. A new demon. A demon who was going to become powerful because he was the next Knight of Hell. The first of a new batch, but this one won't be used for that. 

Not like last time when Lucifer wasn't in need of a body as he is now. 

And Dean as a human already said 'yes'. 

“Your brother, bless his soul, is summoning me as I speak. Make a deal, bring you back. It's exactly what I was talking about, isn't it? It's all become so... expected. You have to believe me. When I suggested you take on the Mark of Cain, I didn't know this was going to happen. Not really. I mean, I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied. I never lied, Dean. That's important. It's fundamental. But...there is one story about Cain that I might have... forgotten to tell you. Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death, rather than becoming the killer the Mark wanted him to be. So he took his own life with the Blade. He died. Except, as rumor has it, the Mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter at mere speculation? It wasn't until you summoned me... No, it wasn't truly until you left that cheeseburger uneaten...that I began to let myself believe. Maybe miracles do come true.” 

Lucifer had to say, Crowley did love the sound of his own voice. He was narrating to a corpse at the moment, but there was enough of Dean there that allowed Lucifer to be a bit more then just a ghost observing the narration to the said corpse. It wasn't a necessary action to place the blade on Dean's chest, but that was what Crowley did anyway. 

“Listen to me, Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now -- it's not death. It's life -- a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And let's go take a howl at that moon.” Crowley's words could be seen as an order or a coax and a beckon. 

Dean did though, he opened his eyes and instantly black eyes moved slightly enough to focus not on Crowley but on Lucifer himself. 

“Welcome to your new Freedom Dean Winchester. I promise you, there will be more to come. But you need to get up, you need to escape the bunker. Leave everything behind and I promise for the sake of the last shreds of humanity in you, Sam will be safe.” Lucifer ordered. He couldn't be sure that Dean would follow orders, but right now with how new he was and how young of a demon he was. It had to be now to have the said demon imprint itself on someone and Lucifer couldn't have that be Crowley who stood near the bed as well. 

Saying nothing, but trying to figure something out. 

“What are you staring at Winchester?” Crowley asked, his voice nothing more then a murmur and caution could be heard. 

The ground shook with the feel of a summoning and Crowley cursed, disappearing from the room. It was him who was being summoned and no doubt by Sam like the demon figured Sam would. 

“Escape the bunker.” Lucifer commanded and smiled as Dean as new and fresh as he was, struggled to his feet thoughtlessly trying to do as he was commanded. 

Lucifer smiled. 

All was well. 

Or so he thought... 

“What kind of trouble did you get into trouble now?” 

Damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter then others. I have a good reason for it. I'm going on vacation for a week and won't have time to do anything and I felt that this was a good spot to end this chapter. From here on out it'll no doubt be an AU from what Season 10 would no doubt be. Which by the way, what did everyone think of the Season finale? I'm interested to see where they're going with the new development with Dean being a demon. And what will Sam do about it, Cas as well.


	10. Chapter 10

John Eric Winchester was born in 1954. He survived his tour as a Marine that held the rank Corporal in Vietnam. But he didn't survive as a hunter. He died in the year 2006, he was 52 when he died leaving behind three son's. Two from marriage and one out of wedlock. Two are hunters and the other thankfully never was.

But that didn't stop the supernatural world from touching him. John knows this.

John last saw his boys after Azazel was killed, he had the chance to move onto Heaven but John never took that chance. Instead he lingered behind despite knowing what happens to ghosts from the view he has as a hunter. His body was burnt, John only knows this because he has faith his boys would have given him a hunters burial like he deserved. Like they will deserve when there time truly came.

John simply used the ground the home he had with Mary as his lure, or at least the ground it stood on. A new house was in it's place since his was burnt down because of Azazel who contaminated his youngest son he had with Mary and murdered Mary in the same room as Sam was.

Under normal circumstances a ghost starts out confused and from there it could generally go two ways from what John learnt. They could either go into a cycle where they keep reliving when and how they die. Sometimes even dragging others into that sort of situation by interacting with the living without realizing that they were in fact a ghost. Or they could turn nasty. John was used to dealing with nasty though.

He should have gone one way or the other, only he didn't.

There was a good reason for that. John was a hunter and before that a USMC, a Vietnam War Veteran. John also was a stubborn son of a bitch, he knows this because everyone he's met as a hunter has told him as much. Demons and humans alike. Even when he himself was bound to the rack and tortured he was told he was stubborn.

So if John could survive a hundred years in Hell then he could survive as a ghost. All he needed was routine. And John found that routine after he made the decision to linger behind.

First John found a favorite spot in the bland house that replaced his own. A nice place that had windows and let in a lot of light. He would use this as his main place to linger. John would then scout the area twice, circling the house and the neighbourhood before circling back and returning to his favorite spot. Once standing in his favorite spot after his search of the area he would recount his time as a child from his earliest memory to when he became a Marine. Once finished with that, he would scout the area three more times before returning and recounting how to kill every supernatural creature he knows of.

He did this endlessly, it gave him something to focus on and there was few things that would stop his routine.

One was to have the odd conversation with a Reaper who happened to be in the area. An offer to be carried over to Heaven was always given and always politely declined. John wouldn't test their patience by doing something incredibly stupid like be rude or push there buttons the wrong way. Even going so far as meeting a Reaper who used the name Tessa. From her he learnt about his son's especially the one as she put it that got away. He liked her the best, she was always pleasant to speak with. John even gave her pointers in how to deal with Dean if it came down to it. Not so much to reap but to avoid a lot of unnecessary conflict from her end. John knows Dean well enough that the boy would fight anything if he was pushed or if any threat came close to Sam.

There was also the risk of dealing with other ghosts, John long since learnt to avoid them. Like any ghost, they only saw what they wanted and that usually caused headaches for John. And because of his routine and scouting, John now saw everything as he would as a hunter and as someone who was alive. He was thankful for that.

He always returned to his usual routine. Recounting memories of his life, his job's and everything he can remember that helped with those jobs. Scouting and listening.

His routine came to an abrupt end in the year 2014, making John realize that he has been dead for 8 years. Time bled together when he kept himself mostly sane and himself with his routine. A routine that won't be able to continue at this point.

The first thing that happened was the feeling like a wave of air and water shot through the world he has come to know and later would learn that this was the result of large unseen gates closing. Heaven itself was now closed to the dead. The ghosts that would have passed on lingered. And after some time, their confusion became their pain and they screamed for peace and relief.

It reminded him of Hell. The sound, the screams.

The Reapers he comes across were greatly bothered by this, they couldn't do their job and they were helpless to put the souls where they belonged. The ones that were destined to Hell, went with no ease but not for those who were destined for Heaven. The babes who died at birth, the good. They lingered against their will.

He lost track of the Reaper who had regular conversations with him, Tessa.

It left John with a question he once asked himself before that started his journey as a hunter and a journey of revenge and damning his boys.

“What now?”

And unlike then, John was equipped with the tools and the focus of what to do and how to do it. And with his time spent as a ghost, he learnt a few tricks and he would have to find a way to travel. It won't be easy, it would be the hardest thing he had to do as a ghost. But he can do it. He's lasted this long as himself and not some mindless angry spirit that others have became.

He had to find his son's. He had to find Sam and Dean. And all he had was whispers and rumours to lead him forward. But John has worked with less. He started his job as a hunter only knowing a monster or a thing killed his wife. Along the way he learnt that it was a Yellow Eyed Demon who originally wasn't a demon at all but an angel. A fallen angel, which was probably why he didn't take the offer for Heaven because he didn't want to go to a place that bred potential things like that.

So he listened and he watched and because ghosts only see what they want, it made it easier to focus on anything dealing with his boys.

It was surprisingly demons that made his job easier. He followed their whispers. War between a demon called Abaddon and a demon called Crowley, it was Crowley that he focused on more. That demon was somehow tied to John's son's. It was also how he learnt about the fact that his eldest son succeeded where he failed in finding the First Blade only John was finding out from rumours that the side effects of that weapon was something dangerous.

John didn't know what though. But he'll learn what effects that weapon had and he'll help his eldest son bare or take care of them. He failed Dean so many times as a Father, perhaps this would be his time for redemption. Maybe he could even redeem himself in Sam's eyes too.

With that thought John pushed forward and learnt about things that shocked him and set him back. Things about the Men of Letters and how the demon Abaddon came to this time period accompanied by one Henry Winchester. It didn't change the fact that he still felt abandoned. John also learnt of what's going on with Heaven in more detail and wondered how long would it take for that mess to be dealt with?

But that gave him a destination.

The Men of Letters headquarters, the Bunker.

He started to search for it in the hopes that his boys would be there because of their meeting of Henry Winchester however briefly that might have been.

By the time he found the bunker he had to find a way to tie himself down to something inside and the easiest thing was the Impala itself because it was the one thing that goes in and out regularly enough. John also learnt of the victory Crowley had over Abaddon all thanks to Dean Winchester.

His eldest son has became a fine hunter and a dangerous killer. John didn't know how to feel about that, some part of him was proud but not as much as he once thought he would be. Sam had some pretty impressive victories as well, John was proud of him as well.

For the length of time it took to get into the bunker and figure out how to work himself here things changed drastically and John had to face a shock of his existence, one that would have given him a major case of failure and brokenhearted in life that could have killed him from that alone.

He found his eldest son following some unseen direction with the First Blade in hand and eyes as black as a bottomless pit.

Dean Winchester the son who played the part of soldier and father, a brother and friend so unnaturally well was the very thing that he was raised to hunt.

A demon.

“What kind of trouble did you get into now?” His voice was near emotionless and numb and John was only faintly aware that he was fully visible. It took energy but John didn't focus on that at the moment, only the thing that was in front of him.

A surge of disgust and disappointment curled in John that felt like poison that weighed him down. The lights flickered lightly above them. Dean just stared at him, no recognition and John couldn't stop himself from remembering he has seen and heard and learnt about his son from the first day he held the wailing baby he looked down on fondly to the hunter he left after Sam left them. To this.

John wanted to ask why and how but he knew the answer and that it had to do with the jaw bone sharpened into a blade at Dean's side.

“Get a grip of yourself boy, I know you're in there... Don't you walk away now.” John finds himself saying as Dean made a turn to leave, still not registering much but the direction he was going to head into. John felt frantic for the first time in a long time. How could he make Dean snap out of this, though what he would snap into was beyond John at the moment. But he had to make Dean stay, he couldn't bare the thought that Dean could disappear. How would that effect Sam?

There was still the question of what John should do about Dean now. The correct answer as a hunter was to put Dean down and John had once told Dean to do the same to Sam. Only Dean found another way, he always did when it came to Sam.

Sam had to be the key here. Somehow. And John was willing to use that.

“What about Sam?! Your little brother, the man you sold your soul for. The man you practically raised yourself when I was too busy being a hunter and not a father?!” John yelled down the hall to Dean not knowing that he was now not alone in the hallway. That his youngest son stood only a few feet behind him.

“Dad...”

“Dean...”

It was so broken and John didn't know if he should turn around, if he did then he will lose sight of the halted demon down the hall from him. John wished he learnt how to deal with this sort of situation, wished somewhere along the line he had the knowledge of Bobby when it came to his boys and how to deal with them in a situation like this, if there ever was a situation like this.

_~ Dean ~_

Hunger.

Need.

Bloodlust.

The desire to destroy and break and torment curled in Dean's stomach as words entered his ears. Words that spoke of a new life, of how Cain became the thing he was. How Dean followed the same path. There was also other words that told him, ordered him nearly to leave the bunker. Promising something that should mean the world to Dean.

Dean ignored the first voice, the one speaking of a new life and howling at the moon for reasons that was beyond Dean at the moment. Instead he listened automatically to the second one commanding him to leave the bunker. To get out.

Dean knows that getting out could be a good thing.

It would release him from this room that seemed like it was important at one time and it would unleash him on the world.

Memories and thoughts felt like they were on a shore and he was standing on a sinking boat surrounded by water so dark it showed nothing in it's reflection.

Dean walked forward towards the entrance of the bunker that will now double as the exit for Dean. Or that was what he was planning on doing when a voice long since dead cut through and gained his attention.

“What kind of trouble did you get into now?”

Dean stared at him, Dean didn't know if he showed any recognition or not. Dean didn't even know if what he saw was real. All he knew was there stood a ghost from a past Dean barely even knows now. Dean decided to ignore rather then destroy and started to move forward towards his exit.

More words that didn't fit the ghost in the far away memories Dean held in the skull he owns.

“What about Sam?! Your little brother, the man you sold your soul for. The man you practically raised yourself when I was too busy being a hunter and not a father?!”

Sam...

“Dad...”

“Dean...”

Dean was only partially aware of the sound of something dropping on the ground and giving off an echo that sounded louder then what it was. Only faintly aware of how empty his hand now felt. The voice that was so small and broken that said his name seemed to echo in his mind louder then the words of a ghost Dean once knew but no longer fully recognized from the words that were spoken.

Dean was only slightly aware of the figure standing at his side, Lucifer. He seemed impatient and annoyed, but not making a move to stop anything or Dean. Could he even do that?

Dean felt lost.

The sound of footsteps made him turn around and look through blackened eyes at the tired and broken version of a man he sacrificed everything for so many times.

“Dean... How, why.” The man-his brother. Sam asked, broken and Dean felt compelled.

“The Mark, the Mark of Cain.” Dean's own voice sounded hallow. Empty. That shore seemed to slip further away.

Dean bent to pick up the blade again. It felt closer then those memories that he knows are his. A foot kicked the blade away from his hand. The same foot that belonged to the man-Sam. Dean felt a surge of anger curl and twist in him. It felt like a snake curling around his control and squeezing.

Dean reacted without thinking and Lucifer smiled. The ghost called for him to don't do it. Sam cried out his name and fought back as his back hit the ground and Dean curled his fingers around Sam's throat.

He was willing and ready to kill his brother. Send him to Heaven while Dean remained here on earth.

“Dean! Stop! P-Please stop.” Sam pleaded as soon as he got the chance to take in enough air to speak. Dean re-tightened his grip and choked the air from Sam's lungs. A chuckle from Lucifer, pleading from Sam. There was also pleading from his ghost. Words that he used to desperately try to cut through to Dean, make him let go.

It didn't work and Dean kept his grip secure.

Dean made eye contact with Sam who struggled beneath him. Dean says that it was so he could see this man-human die by his hand. What he didn't expect was the emotion that curled just as tightly as the anger did. Guilt. Disgust and not for the struggling man beneath him. Disgust at himself for what he was doing to...

... to Sammy.

His brother.

Two things happened at that moment. A shore that felt like it was a lifetime away crashed into him as memories were now so close to him they made him choke and at the same time Dean found himself scrambling away from Sam who curled to his side gasping for air. Dean could only lean against a wall and stare at his hands.

Did he really try to kill his brother?!

“Lock me up Sammy...” Dean managed to say and ignored the glare he was getting from the ghost of his past. He couldn't bare to look at his brother at the moment.

“Lock me up.” Dean repeated and ignored the fact that Lucifer reminded him not for the first time that they had a deal and it was still intact.

Dean didn't fight when Sam hesitantly did just that.

As soon as he was alone he collapsed in the devil's trap that now held him in the same room that once held Crowley. Only now there was nothing he could reach to use to summon anything.

Everything was so wrong and twisted and tainted and Dean didn't know what to feel about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was two reasons this chapter took so long was first a vacation I had that took a week right after the finale of Supernatural pretty much. The second was I had to really decide whether to go the same route of Dean becoming a demon or find a quick 'fix it' way to go around that. I have decided not to, and simply try to fit Dean being a demon into my original idea and I am happy to say that I have a pretty good idea of how to do that now. It also took some debate on whether or not to actually have it as John Winchester that said those words in the last chapter. 
> 
> Sorry it took so long and I hope you enjoy.


	11. Chapter 11

Two weeks passed from when John Winchester showed up. Two weeks of Dean being trapped in a devil's trap willingly. Two weeks of John trying to get along with his youngest son who's changed so much and with an angel who was more flawed then any man the former living man met.

John hasn't made his way to visit his oldest son, fear kept him from drawing near the door leading to the sometimes talking out loud demon. Lucifer. He was told that Dean was hallucinating about Lucifer. John never liked to consider himself a coward, but he was. He truly was. There was no question that this was his fault. He screwed up his boys so badly Mary would be ashamed. But the idea of his eldest boy both a demon and hallucinating about the granddaddy of all demons, the fallen angel himself sent John into fits of feeling ill with guilt.

He put too much on Dean's shoulders and above that he never let his boys be just that. Boys. He turned them into children soldiers. He took any childhood they could have had away from them and at such a tender age when identity should have been forming. And it showed in everything the two boys did, John could admit that to himself and being that he was sober against his will he had no choice but to reflect. It was also a must because John had to have the routine of searching his own memories.

John looked at his own hands. Hands that turned his boys into soldiers earning the submission and near fear from one and anger and resentment from the other.

“One would think you are trying to find your way to redemption, in their eyes.” said a voice from behind him, one that wasn't welcomed. The angel. John refused to call it by it's name. It wasn't human. Turning around he could see the frown nearly causing the lips of the angel to move. A statue of a soldier that moved and talked, that was his impression of the angel soldier sometimes.

“Don't see how anything is your business when it regards me and my boys considering what you are and what you yourself has done.” John said and perhaps it was the wrong thing to say. Perhaps he should take it back but John won't, he was too stubborn and he knows his boys history.

Nothing was said for a moment, just an angel regarding a ghost. For the past week there has been bickering between the two of them despite his attempts to get along with the thing. Up to this point though, the angel seemed tolerating and held himself in check and simply because Sam asked him to.

A frown and a look of utter disapproval and dare John say disappointment shown out eyes that were inhumanely blue at times. Grace. It must be because of grace.

“Do not preach to me, boy. I who have done more for your son's then their own kin has done. I who raised not one, but both of your sons from Hell. I saw every memory, felt every emotion the moment I set my hand upon them body and soul. You have no ground to tell me what is my business and what is not, especially regarding your sons. They are friends of mine, they were family for me when I had no one.” The angel's words were cold and controlled, designed to cut deep with as few words as possible.

John knew that the angel meant to throw what John did back at him. It was a low blow and John couldn't help but feel in the back of his mind that he probably deserved those words. He did mess up royally in regards to his sons. Tried to be a better father for Adam but apparently just because Adam was his boy, he was screwed over by the forces that pushed their presence into John's family.

“Well, you don't have any ground to preach as well angel. You fucked up plenty as well from what I heard over the years as a ghost.” John spat back, foolish perhaps but he didn't take hits designed to be low blows laying down. He was never the type and he was glad that his boys weren't the type either. Well, besides taking hits from John and that was nothing to feel pride over. In fact it made John feel sick. Sam was the only one who came closes to not take John's shit. Dean on the other hand got the short stick. Always seemed to be the case though.

“I am aware of that. And I have a name, ghost. It is Castiel.” the angel admitted and John could honestly say he wasn't expecting something like the angel in front of him to just outright admit that he messed up. That he didn't have much if any ground to stand on as well. They were at a stalemate that seemed to be brewing for the past two weeks.

The ball was in John's court.

Looking back towards the door that stood between John, the angel and Dean Winchester. One of John's greatest failures.

“There's no redemption to be had for me. I can't fix a broken adult, and I broke my boys even before they knew that they were broken.” John offered. A peace offering by dropping the little bickering discussion and going back to what the conversation started as. One about redemption, and they both were fully aware that the broken adult John spoke of wasn't himself. The angel-Castiel wasn't the biggest guy around, physically anyways. But when he stood near John it felt like a something the size of a building was there, one that was damaged and repaired more times then not.

That feeling faded the farther the angel went. Headed in the opposite direction and what John would figure was the kitchen, Castiel was always on Sam's case to make sure he ate something in between hunts and research in how to fix Dean.

“It is far easier to heal a child then mend a broken adult, that is true. However, you have a chance to mend old wounds and that would have to do. For them, it would mean the world. Build a bridge with their help to heal from your and their past. But you must take the first step. Sam is resentful and angry do not try to fight that, acknowledge it and acknowledge why he is like that towards you.” Castiel stated calmly, eyes narrow and looking through John.

John flinched inwardly, a part of him honestly hated that he was getting sound advice from something that wasn't human and shouldn't understand human things like this. John knows he's being unfair but he can't help himself. His old stubbornness was rearing it's head. Still, stubbornness or not he would be a fool to simply dismiss what Castiel has said.

A part of John wanted to ask what to do regarding his eldest son who was now the thing he once hunted, but pride kept his mouth shut. Kept him from asking.

Castiel waited for a moment, almost like he knew the question but chose not to answer it unless John spoke.

“Dean asked me what it was like to fall, perhaps he should ask you instead. That pride that is keeping you silent, that will do you no favours.” Castiel commented before fully heading towards the kitchen and leaving John to contemplate the angels words and his own thoughts and memories. John wanted to comment that it was too late for Dean, he has already fallen.

He was a demon.

His boy was a demon!

John had to pick up the routine of scoping out the area within the bunker to distract himself from the anger and despair he was being choked with. His failures fluttering through his mind. Every time he drank. Every hunt he went on. Every time he left his boys alone. Every time his anger took over in there presence, verbal and sometimes physical.

John found himself in Dean's room and stared at the old picture on the nightstand.

“Oh Mary...”

~ John – Sam ~

Exhaustion was a feeling Sam has been used to for some time, it was a normal thing. But normal or not it didn't stop him from rubbing his eyes in attempt to refocus on what he was doing. Hunts were used as distraction and even then he found himself searching for answers or ways to cure a demon without costing him his life or anyone else their life.

Sam even started to search for a way to get into Magnus's place again. But the ingredients to the spell would be harder to come across because as much as he hated to admit it, Crowley was good at getting things that could be used. He could ask Castiel but the angel was stretched pretty thin as it was between Heaven and here. And it wasn't his first instinct to ask for help as foolish as that was.

A plate was set down in front of him.

“Peanut butter and jam?” Sam asked, he couldn't help it but a smile crept across his face. It was so humorously childish in the innocent appearance Sam couldn't help but feel warmed by it. Dean would do the same thing, it would appear Castiel picked up Dean's torch in keeping an eye out for him. Sam was touched, he truly was but eventually he will have to put a stop to it. He's an adult and able to look after himself.

A tilt of the head and almost wry expression on Castiel's face was enough to tell Sam 'good luck' but besides that no words were given or pulled from Sam.

“Did Dad manage to get the nerve to speak with Dean since this whole mess started?” Sam asked instead. Castiel sat down across from Sam, the angel was stiff but that was normal.

“He did not, however he is starting to seek out redemption for what he has done regarding yourself and your broth-” Castiel started to ex plain, his words were cautious and he had every right to be cautious. Sam frowned angrily.

“A little late don't you think.” Sam cut Castiel off, he didn't mean for the amount of bitterness that was present to come out. But it did. The fact that Castiel was just talking about his Dad and redemption angered Sam. After all this time, after everything both Dean and himself has gone through. Why now? Did the guy actually open his eyes to see what has been done, after all this time?

Sam set the sandwich aside only to find that it couldn't be moved. Castiel physically held the plate in it's spot and it was small moments like this that reminded Sam that Castiel was a lot stronger then he looked. Sam had no hope of moving the plate.

“Better to happen at all then never.” Castiel stated, and Sam hated that the angel had a point there. Still it didn't take away the anger and everything that Sam was stuck feeling again now that his father was in front of him. In his life again.

Sam said nothing.

“Perhaps we should try to seek out Cain, have him take the mark back.” Castiel suggested instead of carrying on the conversation. They both knew that if it kept going down that route then Sam would refuse even more. A fight would break out even though that fight might be one sided. It would stall any progress Castiel might have been hoping that would be made.

Search for Cain! Why didn't he think of that!

“Would that work?” Sam didn't want to sound as hopeful as he did.

It was a small chance and that was enough for Sam.

He just wanted his brother back.

~ Sam – Lucifer ~

Two weeks Lucifer twisted Dean's words around on him, it was a back and forth thing between them. Debating and arguing. Bending will's and points of views. It was a slow process for Lucifer, but he was gaining ground. Picking at all old wounds that involved with Papa Winchester was the best route to go. So when John finally enters, if he enters it would erupt.

Even if John didn't enter, Dean was getting to a point where the anger and emotion was getting hard to deal with.

Lucifer crouched next to Dean who was sitting at the back of the devil's trap.

“Want to make a bet whether or not he gets a spine to come in and speak with you?” Lucifer offered and Dean glared. Feisty. Lucifer held up his hands in a manner that would have said I meant no harm, if it was on anyone else it might have been almost believable. On Lucifer, it was probably looked like a bold faced lie.

The sight of John coming in made him comment that Dean should have made the bet, he might have won. Standing up he made it look like he was giving the two some privacy without actually leaving even going so far as turning his back. He listened to the conversation turn from icy to heated, distant to passionately angry.

Lucifer smiled.

“Get out!” Dean snarled, words practically dripping with anger and curling with venom. John didn't leave right away, but he did. Lucifer couldn't help but frown, in Dean's favour. Even he could see that this was a foolish decision on John's part. He should have stayed, fought through the anger and walls the eldest Winchester boy set up so very long ago.

But what might be a foolish decision on John's part could benefit Lucifer.

Dean was crumbled on the ground, shaking and seething in anger. Fingers digging into the concrete ground creating grooves. Handy being a demon sometimes. Blood pooled around those fingers though, Dean damaged himself.

“Stop.” Lucifer ordered, placing his hands on Dean's. They couldn't touch but to sight it would be enough.

It took him repeating the order twice more for Dean to relax his grip. Lucifer smiled. He would have said 'good boy' if it wouldn't be counter productive. Lucifer offered a kind ear when Dean started to snarl out his angry questions and complaints. Sometimes to get far with someone was to listen. To offer kindness. It gained more then sugar coated lies.

“There is no words that I ca -” Lucifer started to say in the best way he could say to get sympathy across. And a sliver of himself was sympathetic. He understood the complexities that came with being a son.

“I want out. I – I” Dean said and Lucifer could hear the despair that cut through the demon parts of Dean to say without words _“I feel so weak and broken. I don't want to hurt anymore. I want it all to go away.”_

Dean may not mean to say those things, or even think them but there was a part of him when he was human that was made up of such broken shards that cut continuously.

“Why am I feeling this?!” Dean snarled, angry and distressed. It was interesting to see that distress curling in a demon that didn't involve defeat of any sort that you would normally see in other demons.

“You're a new born demon, Dean. You remember feeling human so everything that was human came with the sensations and elements that come with being a demon.” Lucifer offered with a shrug, kneeling in front of the kneeling demon in front of him. Calmly he wrapped his arms around Dean tucking the demon's head under his shoulder. A father of demons to a demon, a kind embrace that would have any other loyal demon swooning.

The picture might have been seen as odd, but Lucifer knew that this was a moment of fragility in Dean despite being a demon.

“It is a good thing Dean.” Lucifer stated. For Dean and his little brother it was, but for some not so much.

 _I don't want to be a demon... I don't want to feel the need to torture and kill. I want to be free and cut into whomever I want and when I want._ All swirling contrasts going on in Dean.

“You will figure this out. I have faith in that, your father has failed you. Your brother is no closer to saving you. Castiel is unable to save you. You are what you are and that's okay, we can figure this out as we go.” Lucifer offered and he could tell the demon in his embrace stiffened but didn't move to extract himself. A good sign.

Making it appear like he was petting the dirty hair in a soothing manner Lucifer focused on Dean's once upon soul. The Mark of Cain being present still gave Lucifer full access to Dean like he had to Sam, just without actually able to possess. It was a spark of good that kept Dean remarkably human. Loyalty and love for Sam that transcended the transformation in a way that it didn't for Cain and Abel. However Cain found a new love that created that same spark.

“But that is okay.” Lucifer stated calmly, his voice as soothing as he could make it without it sounding condescending or insulting. There was no room for that at the moment.

“Why?” Dean asked quietly. It would seem that spark was the same sort of effect that human blood had on the sad excuse of a demon, Crowley. It was almost comical. But it would explain the behaviour that Lucifer was getting out of Dean for the past two weeks in between exchanged words and debates following arguments.

Oddly enough, it made him almost miss the humanity that Dean stunk of. A human Dean would be more fun to play with and it was well known that humans were easier to possess then anything else for angels. Dean was still open and able to be possessed by Lucifer, the yes was already agreed upon and his. The only thing that would happen is the demon that was residing in the flesh vessel that belongs to Dean would be evaporated and non existent.

Dean Winchester would truly be no more.

“Because I am here. And we will be okay.” Lucifer promised. Though his version of okay might not align with what Dean might have once considered as okay.

Lucifer had a question to ask himself. Would he want an empty hearse of a vessel or would he want a soul to hold and do what he wants to it?

Really, these Winchesters just have to make things rather annoying in how they make things unnecessarily complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly sorry for how long it seems to take me to update this story now. And how off it is probably becoming compared to what the show no doubt would be. 
> 
> You readers have two decisions you can make: 
> 
> Dean remaining as a demon: yes or no
> 
> Sam having a confrontation with Cain: yes or no


	12. Chapter 12

Dean wasn't new to anger and how easy it was to fall into. How easy it was to let it curl and coil in you. Dean didn't always wear his anger on his sleeve like Sam, but that didn't mean he didn't have it. His felt just as toxic to him as anger probably felt to Sam no matter if it's on a sleeve or buried where it shouldn't be.

With a sigh Dean paced the outer ring of the trap that kept him bound. Lucifer remained in the middle, cross legged and leaning back on his hands watching Dean with a cocky expression that made Dean want to smash his face in. But that wouldn't happen because for one, real or not, what was with him was only a projection of sorts. Dean didn't know how it was done.

But it was time to find out. They had a deal after all, Lucifer was only allowed to speak the truth and Dean would have to say yes when the time comes. Dean hopes it doesn't, he has a good idea of what that 'yes' is for and it didn't sit well for him. After all what's the consequences going to be?

“How are you here? You said you're real. How?” Dean asked calmly. Dean didn't care if anyone heard his one sided conversation. He didn't even know if he would tell him what he finds out.

A smile crossed Lucifer's features, almost like he was saying 'finally you ask' and 'it took you long enough'. Dean glared at the amused fallen angel before him. Not that it would help, this was a guy who probably stood face to face against things far worse then what Dean could imagine.

“It wasn't a simple task, I can assure you of that. But because Hell touched you and you bared the Mark of Cain that opened a door and all it took was me to concentrate on that and in turn you. It was like a beacon to guide me through the cage and to you. Like a light house to boats on foggy nights.” Lucifer explained calmly, it was enough to warrant as an answer but at the same time it was vague.

Dean was going to demand more answers but a single finger pointing towards the door caught his attention. He turned and gaped at the sight, he didn't expect Crowley of all people to waltz right in and come straight to Dean.

Did anyone else know he was here? How did he even get into the bunker, it was supposed to be one of the most secure places.

“Obviously it isn't.” Lucifer's voice came from behind him, he wasn't moving apparently and regarded Crowley with disdain and disapproval.

“Isn't so nice to be trapped in one of these, isn't it squirrel.” Crowley's voice was mocking and Dean could barely stomach the appearance behind the short but posh appearing man Crowley liked to try to appear as. Perhaps this was why Castiel barely seen him. He could see how twisted Dean no doubt appeared to him and Dean in turn would have been able to catch a glimpse at what Castiel appeared as if the angel wasn't so weakened from his stolen grace running low. It was like a fading ghost leaving a wisp of a stand in. Pathetic really.

“Tends to happen, angel's aren't meant to steal grace. Each angel's grace is made specifically for them.” Lucifer explained and Dean willed him out of his mind. Or tried to.

“Nah, it's fine. Researching what it's like on this side of the scribble.” Dean shot back, he wasn't about to hand over information or actual reasons even if Crowley already figured it out. If he even tried to. Dean crossed his arms and waited to hear what Crowley came here to say.

Crowley smirked, he had something up his sleeve and Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to know what it was.

“But you do want to get out, don't you. You confessed that before you fled to the other side of the devil's trap and away from me.” Lucifer pointed out, now standing between Crowley and Dean. Looking between them and treating it like this was a promise of entertainment. Dean wanted to glare at him, wanted to answer back but decided he didn't want Crowley to know about Lucifer, not yet anyway. So he focused on the de- fellow demon in front of him.

“Not fellow Dean. Beneath you. He's a mere crossroad demon wearing a crown to big for his tiny head. You're a knight, two different levels.” Lucifer pointed out. Dean hated the fact that a part of him swarmed with joy at being considered better then something else by someone. Finally being put ahead of someone.

“I have a proposition for you Dean, one worth your while. But it's something you and I should speak of somewhere else other then here.” Crowley proposed and Dean tilted his head. The age old question of 'should he or should he not' came into play. He did willingly let himself be trapped here, but given the fact that even as a demon he didn't like isolation all that much and having only someone everyone believes to be a figment of his imagination as company wasn't doing so well for him in their minds. There was also the fact that he wasn't human anymore.

Also there was his Father, John Winchester. They only conversed twice in total, the first time when he first woke up as a demon and then not too long ago that left him yelling at him to get out. Of course for the first time that Dean could remember his Father actually listened to him. Leave it to him to listen when he should have ignored!

It left him distressed and comforted by someone Dean knows he shouldn't trust in the slightest.

“And how are you going to do that? I can't very well walk out of here?” Dean snapped and was told to be quiet by Crowley. Obviously the demon wasn't here by invitation. That had Dean curious. Where was Castiel, he would have sensed something. Right? And Sam, how could Crowley get by a seasoned hunter like Sam? Maybe Dean was putting too much faith in them?

Crowley pulled out a knife and with a hard throw severed the outer line of the devil's trap successfully making it nothing more then useless markings. Dean tested it with his hand first. Crowley had a smug look on his face, he was rather proud of himself and amused at Dean's situation and the fact that Dean hasn't tried to get out.

“Somebody's trying really hard to be friends Dean. I wonder if he has friendship bracelets in one of the pockets of his overly pricy jacket?” Lucifer mocked as he circled Crowley looking up and down as if looking for those friendship bracelets. Dean hated to admit, but Lucifer was right. Crowley was really trying to keep up the whole 'lets be allies and best-buds' act that he had going since Dean went with him to find Cain.

Dean walked out of the room altogether, Crowley followed and looked very cautious but kept himself calm. Dean found himself following what felt like pulses that called to him. Practically sung songs of blood and mayhem. Murder and vice. Dean approached the box that held it -

The First Blade. His Blade.

The box had sigils covering it and those stung when Dean touched them. Crowley informed him of what they were, Dean didn't need to be told. He was-is a hunter. He knows what it is already. Something to keep demons out.

Why did Sam have the blade so close, would it not have benefited to get it far away from Dean? Something he would have to look into. In the meantime Dean managed to get to his bag and put a few changes of clothing into it and the box holding his blade before slipping out. Followed by Crowley and Lucifer.

He left Baby behind, not feeling the need for it. If Crowley wanted to talk, he could play transportation. He gave a look that said as much, with a cocky smile and a snap of his fingers they were standing in what looked like an office.

“Cliche Crowley.” Dean commented and Lucifer nodded and agreed, commenting on the books and laughing at the fact that there was the book series Supernatural.

Dean didn't get much reaction out of Crowley besides a slight shrug that only served the purpose of admitting that yes this might come across as cliche. Dean figured that this was a way for Crowley to make things seem like they weren't a contract being formed and signed but not casual enough to meet in a bar or restaurant of Crowley's choosing.

Crowley sat down first, indicating that Dean should sit in the chair across from him. All the while keeping the desk between them. Like it would help the situation should things get nasty. Lucifer was still hanging around, Dean spotted him off to the side just barely in Dean's range of sight. Watching and listening.

“Perhaps.” Crowley verbally acknowledged as Dean relaxed back in his seat. If there was a unseen devil's trap underneath him here, Dean knows he would be pissed. Hopefully Crowley remembers those manners he likes to pretend he has.

“What do you want?” Dean asked and ignored how everything in him wanted this demon gone because of the role he himself played in a few things. A feeling that he had when he was human and one that followed him into his death and rebirth.

A smile crossed the demon's face as he leaned forward and stared at Dean intently.

“A proposition and an offer.” Crowley offered, voice calm and held the hopeful tone of someone who's making a life time changing deal. Something Crowley no doubt had mastered by now. Dean wasn't entirely amused by it though, in fact it was just something else that seemed to annoy him.

That and the smell of how rancid the sulphur scent that came from Crowley seemed to stand out. It went well with the ugly appearance of his true form underneath the meat and buried in the smoke.

“An offer for what exactly?” Dean pushed, not agreeing to anything at the moment but searching for more information.

“How to learn to do everything you can do as a demon.” Crowley stated, almost seemed to be rather proud of himself for what he said. Could this classify as charity though? A demon offering help to another in order for the said demon to learn how to be a proper one.

Crowley might be offering help but it was Lucifer who spoke of why Dean should accept, gave indisputable reasons for it. Despite Lucifer's disapproval of Crowley's existence, even he knew when to use someone while they were useful and that was something Dean couldn't disagree with at the moment.

“And the offer?” Dean pushed.

~ Dean – John ~

After his failed attempt to speak with his eldest son he went back after a few good hours. Only what he found was an empty room so John did what he figured he should. He searched for Dean in the bunker and found him leaving with another demon obviously. Only there was a third with them, the third might have been a hallucination on John's part. Just a barely there transparent figment.

“What?” John wondered, it was that curiosity that stalled him for too long and for that Dean disappeared with the demon in black. Pushing that aside he immediately searched for Sam and the angel. The angel was gone, no doubt trying to fix Heaven again. Sam was out and a note on the fridge door said that he was shopping for food.

John couldn't phone or get a hold of anyone so he just sat at the table Sam has been doing most of his work in his search for a cure which now would be harder with Dean out there in the world and not here where he should be.

“Dad?” Sam's voice came from behind him, John stood up and immediately demanded what took him so long. Old habits had him falling back into the interrogate and questioning before anything else. And given the expression on Sam's face, his youngest would soon fall into the same old routine as well and that meant more fights.

That was something John had to avoid at the moment, there was other matters that needed to be taken care of. Matters like Dean.

“Your brother's missing Sam, left with a demon in black.” John immediately cut in before the argument could happen, distract and redirect the entire conversation before it gets out of hand.

“Crowley.” Sam growled, John noted the name and remembered hearing about this demon more then once. Not the most powerful from what John learnt, but not one to underestimate. Sam immediately took out his phone and punched in a number to make a call.

“You have the demon's number?” John asked, he couldn't believe his eyes. Why would a son of his have the number of a damned demon! Apparently Sam didn't appreciate his tone given the look he got.

“There's also something else, saw a third party with them. I'm a ghost so usually I do see things you don't. I could barely make this thing out, but it looked like a man.” John explained after Sam got no answer and hung up with a frustrated and angry sound. He didn't even leave a message, they both figured that Crowley no doubt would know why Sam was calling.

Sam questioned more on what the possible man looked like. John could barely describe him besides what colour his clothing was and possible hair colour. But that might have been enough given the way Sam paled.

“That makes no sense. How could you even catch a glimpse of him.” Sam said, he almost sounded like he was punched in the stomach. This was something that brought bad memories to his youngest, something that didn't sit well with John.

“What doesn't make sense? Who?” John demanded, Sam seemed to pay him no mind.

“I have to call Cas.” Sam forced out as he picked his phone back up and scrolled up in the contact list. John found the situation to be annoying, there was a time he wouldn't be ignored like this by either son.

“Damn it boy, who and what doesn't make sense!” John snapped, impatient and demanding. He needed a proper answer and an explanation to this situation and why it doesn't seem like it's so simple anymore.

“You shouldn't be able to see him, he's a hallucination. He should be nothing more then a hallucination. Dean seeing him in the first place still doesn't make sense. I just figured because of the Mark of Cain, it was a side effect. I'm so stupid! I left it at that!” Sam offered up as an explanation, but it wasn't much of one because the next minute he was on the phone again demanding and pleading for Castiel the angel to answer. It was probably more ironic that Sam was calling an angel on a phone then it was to call a demon.

“Who are you talking about Sam, who is supposed to be only a hallucination?” John asked ignoring the fact that the phone was put on speaker and the voice of the angel Castiel was heard asking about what's going on. Why couldn't the angel just fly back here so they could talk in person, something told John that it would be best.

Sam seemed to have to take a breath to get a hold of himself, the anger that John could now see. The anger, the hurt and trauma. There was also concern and something that was near panic.

“Lucifer. Dad, Dean was hallucinating about Lucifer pretty much since he got the Mark of Cain a few months ago. Why do you think he was having one sided conversations sometimes when he was trapped alone in the room with the devil's trap?” Sam explained and John had to swallow his shock. He was a soldier at one time, he had to push through this and focus on everything else before his emotions get the best of him. It was important that he does this.

“Do you know about this angel?” John asked Castiel through the phone, silence answered him. He frowned at the phone, why won't the damned pigeon answer?

“Yes.” The voice came from the same room, Castiel was walking down the steps to them. He gave the explanation of being near here and simply driving.

“Why is it that I'm the last to find out?” John demanded, this was frustrating. Out of the conversations and arguments he had in the past two weeks, at some point someone should have told him about this. This was important.

“It was not of importance at the time.” Castiel stated before trying to turn back to Sam. John of course made sure he got into Castiel's face on the matter. Ghost or not, he can still get into people's face. There was also frustration, Castiel should have known better given what he was. He should have known that every little detail is important at the moment. It was always the small details that cause the biggest problem.

“Ya well it is now.” John forced out, he wished he wasn't a ghost at the moment, he needed a drink or something harder then that.

“Why was my Dad able to catch a glimpse of him, he's a hallucination?” Sam asked as Castiel bent over slightly to hang up Sam's phone and turn it off. Stiff movements. The angel was no doubt deep in thoughts, no doubt looking through his own memories and knowledge.

“How long as Dean been gone?” Castiel asked instead of giving an explanation.

“For approximately forty five minutes.” John answered, where was the angel going with this? There was a slight nod but no other explanation on how that was relevant. Castiel sat down and indicated that they should do the same, Sam reluctantly followed but it was clear that he was losing his patience on waiting for an answer.

“When I took Sam's madness from him and onto myself. I momentarily saw Lucifer myself.” Castiel started, folding his hands on top of the table, staring at Sam and John intently, John never liked being stared at when it was Castiel doing the staring. It felt like he was left bare before the angel's eyes.

“You mean Sam was hallucin-” John forced out. Great, not one but both of his sons had to deal with this.

“It faded from me. I have often wondered why that was. Now I don't think he faded but lost grip, I have nothing he could hold onto. To come through on, not physically he cannot do that. He is trapped within the cage with Michael.” Castiel explained as if John never said a word. It was enough to piss John off, the only thing keeping him in place was the fact that the explanation was going in a direction he didn't like. And from the looks of it, Sam didn't like what he heard either.

“Do you mean... Do you – No, that couldn't be possible. Cas, that isn't possible.” Sam pleaded and John wished for the first time in a long time he could hold his son. Give him the comfort that John failed to do so in life. He hated the broken p leading tone that found it's way into Sam's voice.

“No! No.”

“What?” John asked, it might sound insensitive but he needed to know if what he's starting to fear is true. He needed it in words.

“I think, I think because he lost grip on me was because of what I was. I had nothing of Hell in me or on me. Sam had demon blood, that was his link to Lucifer even from the cage. Sam no longer has much if any demon blood left in him. Dean on the other had who previously had nothing of Hell in him or on him, now bares the Mark of Cain and that is something that was directly from Lucifer himself. Given to Cain by Lucifer, from Cain to Dean.” Castiel explained, there was a solemn feel to his words and a sympathetic expression that rang too genuine for John's liking. It was getting harder to just despise this creature.

“What do we do?” John asked, they needed to come up with a game plan. Deal with this situation. For once he was at a loss for what to do. He could hear Sam shifting and no doubt trying to collect himself. Anger making his body stiff with the stress of the situation.

“I-I think we need to find Cain. And we need to find Dean, bring him back here and trap him. Cas, we're going to need something a lot stronger then a demon's trap to hold Dean if we have to.” Sam said, John was proud of his boy for pushing through what obviously was a traumatic time for him and giving them a direction to go through.

“I will assist.” Castiel offered.

John couldn't help but think to himself, _you damn well better angel._

These were his sons here, and John failed them plenty in life. He didn't want to fail now. A question popped in his mind, one that tied back to what he saw and the hallucination both his son's and the angel had for a time.

“How come I see him though, hallucination or not. No one else saw him when any of you had to deal with this?” John asked.

No one had an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter I asked whether or not Dean should remain a demon, most of you answered yes so he will remain as a demon. As for Cain and Sam, the answer again was mostly yes more or less. So at some point a conversation is in due. Well, technically most of the answers I got was from Fanfiction.net. Thank you for the time and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

It was a sight that Lucifer found had an artistic quality to it, the red that splattered and soaked the ground and walls. The sounds of dripping into puddles but no water to be seen. The sound of silence and quiet panting filled the air, like music. Lucifer couldn't have done a better job himself.

In front of him stood Dean Winchester, no longer human and enjoying the strength he now finds he has.

This time it was only a vampire nest. Sure the food stolen and caged away wasn't any luckier then the vampires, but prices had to be paid for one's learning experience. And this was a learning experience.

To Lucifer's left stood the pompous demon, Crowley. The one doing the teaching, or so he thinks. Lucifer gave better advice on how to handle the blade despite that not needing to be taught. The boy was already well taught from his daddy dearest and Alastair after that.

“'atta boy Dean.” Crowley's stolen English accent sounded and the First Blade was gripped tighter as response.

Soon...

Lucifer gave his own compliment and it was received better. Crowley thought it was his of course, he didn't know of Lucifer's presence and he won't find out either. Lucifer had a lot of faith in his little pet.

At this point Crowley thinks he has an ally. That his proposition with Dean was a done deal. But Lucifer was here first and he was sure that he would get what he wants. He was sure of it.

Dean was working his new angle with Crowley and Lucifer was working through Dean to find a way to open the cage. Only Dean wasn't aware of that yet, every unintentional decision the young demon made brought Lucifer a step closer. He just had to keep it quiet and keep it slow moving.

It was time to leave, Dean followed after Crowley for the moment and Lucifer pulled back to take a look at what Michael and his pet were doing. He needed to speed things up. So what was an escape for himself might just turn into an escape for all three of them. Shifting so he was tucked against Michael but not below him.

He pitched his idea.

It was a risk, but you don't get rewards if you don't take risks.

~ Lucifer – Dean ~

Dean stood on the outer edge of a property Crowley owned, showered and clean again. The vampiric and human blood that coated his skin with blood. Beside him was his new constant company, unwanted and sometimes abusive towards him and his memories but constant all the same. Lucifer.

The excitement he previously felt from the slaughter still coursed through his blood. It felt good to let himself go. It felt like Purgatory but better.

He was powerful. A better hunter. A better killer and all without the morals that weighed him down. It was freeing.

"You're enjoying this." Lucifer pointed out now that he was back again, disappearing for a bit after the slaughter of vampires and their morsels of food.

He was. Dean couldn't even be bothered by that, some part of him was slipping further away. Humanity. That was slowing receding and Dean could find himself enjoy the fact that he was currently free from a lifetime of conditioning and following orders. A lifetime of taking hits for his family on orders and by his own choice.

It was behind him now.

For now Dean will remain with Crowley and with Lucifer. For now he will learn what he could from Crowley who seemed eager to teach him how to be a demon. The human blood the shorter demon was addicted to, it had more of a hold on him then he thought. In turn though, Dean will help him hunt down traitor's in his kingdom.

Crowley needed help cleaning house. And Dean will help because he can. And in the end it will turn to dust because even as a demon and no longer human, Dean can't forget the trespasses made against him.

There was also the fact that he had a part of his agreement with Cain that had to be upheld.

"This is only a honeymoon stage." Lucifer mocked. But Dean knew this. A smile told Dean that the Archangel knew it.

The question was, when it was over what would Dean do then?

Would he continue on this route or would he go back to Sam?

Dean will give it a week...

~ Dean – Sam ~

It took a week. A week too long, even an hour would have been too long.

But they found it. Him. They found Cain. Located in a small apartment tucked out of the way. Sam thought it was ironic that one of the oldest known living demons was living in a rather old and dilapidated building. Castiel had no choice but to leave to attempt to once again locate his own grace, it was by Sam's insistence. As soon as Dean went missing, Castiel's priority went from Heaven to Dean instantly.

Sam could almost swear the angel was in love.

Not that it mattered at the moment, all that mattered was getting answers. He had to get answers from Cain. He needed to know if he could fix this. Fix Dean.

So walking to the buzzer and lied to get into the building. It was easy, he just said he was the cable guy and that was it.

He didn't know which door or apartment was Cain's though. That left him stressed so he started to knock on doors. There was nothing else he could do. Maybe he should start ingesting demon blood again, use that to heighten his abilities and let him sense out Cain. But even then, Sam knows it wouldn't be easy. Sensing is one thing, but Cain was something else entirely.

It took him two floors before he heard his name being called from the other side of the hallway.

Looking over there was an unassuming man dressed simple but slightly out of this time period, bearded and confident. There was a quiet power that left chills down his spine. Without saying it, he knew that this was Cain.

The bastard who damned his brother!

Sam rolled his shoulders trying to get ride of the knots that were there from stress and with a stiff back that didn't help he walked towards Cain. Frown in place and making sure to make eye contact. He meant business. But Sam knows that none of that would matter to the demon. This was a guy that Sam could say was even out of his Father's league.

“Cain.” Sam stated, wanting to confirm before demanding answers.

A nod and then an invitation into a deceptively inviting apartment. Everything looked old but well kept. It was simple, nothing on the walls but it had a warm appeal to it. Hence the inviting nature of it.

“Tea? I would offer honey to go with it, but I had to leave that behind back when your brother and the demon Crowley found me. Brought a bunch of trouble with them, but that was taken care of as well.” Cain calmly said as he sat across from Sam. Sam didn't care about honey though, and his expression most likely said that loud and clear.

“I get it. You'r-”

“I really don't think you do, Samuel Winchester. The boy king. Yes I know who you are, and your reputation. That won't serve you here, manners on the other hand. That might just get you a bit farther then being thrown out.” Cain interrupted Sam's attempt at sympathizing to get some ground in this situation. It was a foolish attempt in hindsight, but Sam was desperate here. Could anyone blame him for that?

Next he would try to posture and threaten, but a look silenced that attempt before Sam could even open his mouth.

Silence took over.

Sam accepted the tea in that silence, only straight because he had no energy to try to find the right balance of anything else. Cain sat back and Sam felt like he was being scrutinized.

Sam settled on pleading that went something like: “I need answers, I need to know how to fix this.”

Sam fought himself to hold eye contact. Fought with himself to keep himself from lashing out and trying to fight and kill Cain where he sat in quiet reflection. Reflection of what, Sam didn't know and care. Why should he?!

“He's my brother...” There was a quiet _'I need him because he's my home'_ that went unsaid. It was going to always go unsaid. But it was usually found in the gesture of handing a beer or calling Dean a jerk or even in his name when Sam called out to him. Could this demon even understand that? Was that even possible?!

“Are you hungry?” Cain asked after a moment, Sam could have sworn there was a strain there but it was easily forgotten as Cain stood up and approached the small well cleaned kitchen.

“No! What I want is answers, why did you give Dean the mark. Why Dean. Why him!” Sam was angry, his vision nearly bled red and that was the only reason he didn't realize or notice that he had Cain by the shirt and was in his face. Something that Cain wasn't appreciative of in the least.

“I gave the mark to your brother because he's a killer Sam, plain and simple. And he's good at it. He was worthy of the mark. Now remove your hands.” Cain calmly said while leaving the threat unsaid, not fighting or tensing underneath Sam's grip. There was a quiet power in those words that was unmistakable. This was a guy who didn't have to yell or throw his weight around because reputation and confidence did that for him.

Reluctantly Sam did what he was told and stepped back.

“Take the mark back. It's yours originally. Take it back. Dean told me why you had it, what you traded for that mark. For your own brother. I – I know it must be a burden, but please. Fix this.” Sam said.

“Leave.” Cain ordered, turning his back as he pulled out two pieces of bread. Only reminding Sam of the order when he pulled out a jar of jam that looked homemade instead of the mass produced stuff at a store.

Sam found himself standing outside the building without knowing how he got there.

This meeting was not what he expected, it was less then what he thought it was and it more defeating then he hoped it would have been. With a sigh he walked towards the Impala that stood to mock Sam for everything he just lost...

... Again.

The trip back to the bunker felt like it took forever. Facing his father was even worse, he had to admit to the man-ghost that he failed to get Cain to help. Of course now that he thought about it, one idle little chat was far from good enough. He didn't even try that hard and so Sam made it clear to John Winchester, his father, that he failed his brother yet again.

Sam always failed Dean though, he never managed to save him.

He didn't save him from Lilith and her hounds. He didn't save him from each kill on a Tuesday from Gabriel. Sam didn't save Dean at all, yet Dean moved mountains to save Sam and more then once succeeded.

Sam did the only Winchester thing you could do when dealing with this much hurt.

He got drunk.

~ Sam – John ~

John hated to see the defeat in his youngest son. And as a ghost, there was little he could do about it especially now that he pretty much found himself stuck in the bunker. He was trapped and no where to go.

This was worse then Hell, to watch one of his boys suffer like that and knowing that his other son was a demon and out there doing who knows what. Who would have thought that he warned one son against the other and got it the wrong way around. And John hated himself for even thinking that.

He had to find a way to plead with Cain or someone. Anyone who would listen.

“Angel. Castiel, if you're listening or if you can hear me at all... Shit what am I doing...” John growled to himself as he stood next to the impala. At the moment no one could see him, it took a lot of energy to make it so Sam could see him.

Rubbing his face and giving a bitter laugh at the ludicrously at the action, it was something he didn't need to do.

“We need to talk Castiel. This is about my boys. We need to talk.” John said, wondering if Castiel could even hear him. He felt stupid.

But it didn't stop him from waiting. Pacing and waiting some more. And in total it took twenty four hours of watching Sam drown himself in alcohol and nightmares a car pulled in. Castiel showed up and apologized for taking so long, he had no wings and so had to travel like a human would.

“I can't go anywhere. But I know where Cain was and Sam couldn't get him to help. I need you to help me get to him, I need to talk to Cain myself.” John stated, confident that this angel could help him. Somehow because he had to. This was his last shot at that redemption Castiel mentioned that John was seeking after years of failing as a father and mistreating his boys in so many ways.

“I cannot take you from this place, I do not have the power that would allow me to transport a ghost like that at the moment. My grace-my stolen grace is extremely limited. I now barely have enough to keep myself living.” Castiel answered, he was solemn and for the first time John found it hard to see a thing and something that wasn't human. This angel was too human and it was painful to see.

John cursed and paced.

Then he stared at the Impala.

“What if I use that, attach myself to the Impala. You could drive the Impala to where Cain is.” John suggested, quickly approaching the only one who could see him at the moment. Castiel looked like he was contemplating what was said, John held a breath he didn't need in hope.

“Even if I did do that, Cain would have to come to you. The impala cannot go into an apartment much less an apartment building.” Castiel stated and as far as John was concerned that was a maybe and not a no. There was hope.

“So then we wait and have him come to us.” John insisted, he had to do something. He failed as a father in life, as a ghost maybe he could find it in himself to fix things. Though it might be too late, all the same John had to at least try.

“Or I could call in a favour or two, I know someone who might be able to help. He -” Castiel said, John could hear the reluctance of the idea that was starting to come forth. Whatever this thing was that had the angel reluctant it must be either powerful or not exactly who you would expect to ask for help.

“He can do what?” John asked anyway.

“Bring you back to life.” Castiel stated and something told John that whoever this was, Castiel won't say but he did trust the weakening angel that he would do what he could do to follow through with what he said.

John knows he had two choices. Trust this angel and go along with whatever it's plan is, be brought back to life by some unknown means. Or refuse and find another way.

And really, there was only ever one choice.

John Winchester was just that, a Winchester. And they seemed to have a penchant for self sacrifice, making deals, alcoholism and taking huge risks that sometimes fall through. But on the bright side, they saved lives and in the end they were family. John took that for granted when he was living, said that he didn't and said things that were big and bold but didn't always walk the walk to go with those words.

Especially when it came to his boys.

“Okay, where do I sign up?” John agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the Sam and Cain lived up to at least some expectations. I plan to do more with those two characters in the future. At the moment, I'm just putting them on each others radar lol.


	14. Chapter 14

Coming back to life was not what John expected. There was no flashes or any pain. There was just nothing and than there was everything. Yet, it all seemed so anti-climatic in the end. All that had to be done was have his body rebuilt, something that amazed him on feats that could be done. It looked just like him because it was him. John couldn't stop himself from wondering if his body would remember everything. How to walk, talk, fight and kill? 

He asked Castiel how and who and the if's and for the most part Castiel answered. Everything but the who, that he kept to himself and said that it was done out of respect for the one who helped John come back to the world of the living, a plain of existence where he could do more than just watch his youngest son waste away and wonder where his oldest son was. 

And worse, what his oldest was doing. 

Castiel spoke of people being killed, all over the United States. It took only moments for John to realize that every town and city where someone was killed by someone who matched Dean Winchester's appearance, was all places they've stayed. Even down to the same area of the motel room.

What was Dean's purpose? 

The best person to ask about this was Sam, who knew next to nothing. Up until one picture was shown. 

“That's Derek Johnson. He, uh, he was a pretty nasty bully that.” Sam pointed out, John was glad to finally have some sort of lead to go on. It was better then not knowing anything about any unfortunate person in the gruesome photo's. Handiwork of his eldest son which only made things worse. 

“A bully to you?” John asked, it would make sense that Dean would probably confront bullies to protect Sam. John has gotten a call about that from the school Principles more then once and always in every school they went to. 

“No. He singled Dean out. Could it be that Dean's hunting down everyone who's wronged him?” Sam asked no doubt thinking back on the memory that held Derek Johnson in some very negative light. John asked for more information, but gained a cold shoulder for it. Something bad might have happened and that had John worried. Was this another example of times when he failed to be a father and protect his children? 

John had to push past all of that at the moment, there was more important things to be worried about. 

Castiel was helpful in this, John listened as other deaths were mentioned. Reports stated that they were demons or connections to demons. This meant that there was a good chance that Crowley was cleaning house and Dean might be helping him. Or at least up until three days ago. 

It was terrifying how fast Dean seemed to be moving forward with his killings. 

“We could always call Crowley about the kills that involve seemingly random humans? See what he says.” Sam suggested, though John could see from his tired and frustrated tone that this was not a choice he really liked. But John would rather this then the other suggestions Sam has came up with. One that even involved demon blood and torture. This was not the son he raised, or more correctly Dean raised. 

John couldn't let whatever hard work that Dean put in to get Sam back on track be for nothing. 

He took charge and Sam might have been tired enough or it was engrained enough, let him. For now anyway. 

“Call him.” Castiel stated even before John could give his opinion on the matter, sure he would have allowed it to happen but he wouldn't have been happy about it. Castiel being the one to speak up as though he had the right enraged John. And maybe, he did. Castiel has been with his boys long enough to be trusted and gone through some nasty things caused by others and himself. 

And that hurt, but John won't be the one to show that sort of thing. So he pushed it aside and listened to Sam's conversation with Crowley. Annoyance crept into Sam's voice and an angered look on his face, the demon on the other line seemed to be very good at pushing buttons. As Sam hang up he gave a frustrated sigh before something that was almost like satisfaction crossed his features. 

“What is it?” John asked. 

“Crowley's having troubles with Dean, he can't control him. He wasn't supposed to be killing the humans he has killed. Something's going on that has him stressed enough that his manipulation is not as great as it should, that and it's probably the effects of human blood are still there.” Sam explained and John had to remember that the demon was addicted to human blood because of Sam, because Sam nearly killed himself trying to cure the demon. There was a time when John would have allowed it to happen when Dean was opposite had pleaded with Sam to stop. 

John couldn't help but wonder though, if Crowley can't control Dean then who else is having a say in the matter. Or is this all Dean? 

“Crowley could also be manipulating you into thinking that he cannot control Dean. We must be cautious all the same.” Castiel stated and John wanted to point out that of course Castiel would know that, he had first hand experience with Crowley during the time the angel got high off of corrupted human souls and power. 

There was also the fact that John was waiting to speak with Cain, if Castiel could find him again. The demon disappeared soon after Sam's visit. One that they didn't speak of, Sam felt like a failure enough as it was. 

So in the meantime all they could really do was try and catch Dean who now seemed to be enjoying himself in the world as a demon. And they had to get to the bottom of the Lucifer thing they had theories on. And how could they deal with something that only one demon could now see and John only caught a glimpse of because he was just a ghost who could do nothing but watch as things fell apart right in front of him. He has never felt so helpless, not since the night Mary died. 

“We make ourselves open to Crowley in case he needs help with Dean, that might be one of the best ways to get close to Dean because if Crowley needs our help then he might just open resources to us if needed.” John stated, and surprisingly Castiel agreed while Sam did not. Not without Castiel explaining why it was a good idea. How far he has fallen in his son's eye that it takes something that isn't human to just have Sam agree with him. With tight lips he gave a nod to Castiel. As close to a thanks as he could give at the moment. 

~ John – Sam ~ 

Sam wasn't entirely sure what to think of the fact that his brother was hunting down those who might have wronged him in the past. Every face of every person who was butchered only seemed to point to that. Derek Johnson only seemed to confirm it. It was that person in the photo that reminded Sam after so many years that Dean never spoke up about those who singled him out for some reason or another for one simple reason. 

In Dean's mind their Dad would have been disappointed in him for not defending himself. Or he would have been disapproving of Dean doing just that. After all, if Dean did stick up for himself then it might have attracted more negative attention and that would have been bad for them all. It could have got officials involved, they could have been separated and that was something Dean was afraid of to this day, or was. 

There seemed to be no way to succeeding in this situation, Dad would not allow Sam to go do what he feels needs to be done. What happened to the fact that at one time his dad would have done the same thing or would have allowed it to happen if it got them what they wanted or needed? 

What changed? 

And truly, is Sam that far gone that he was now willing to do things that even his own Father would not do? 

But after Cain, what other options was there? 

Cain did not listen. Cain was now nowhere to be found. 

What do they do now? Dean was out there killing his way across America and out of reach. Dean wasn't even hiding what he was doing. And that was what outraged Sam, he knows where Dean was at times and yet there was little he could do. 

Sam was powerless. 

Castiel was losing power. 

John was walking on eggshells. Waiting for something. 

~ Sam – Dean ~ 

Dean sat at a bar with Crowley, one where they stopped at for at least a week now that Dean was finished with his own tasks. Outrage was the only thing he could truly feel at the moment. But he didn't show it, Lucifer was right on the part where it was more prudent to show the opposite or something different than what you were feeling. Only adding to lessons Dean has learnt from his own father and experiences. And that was fine. On the other side of the bar stood Lucifer, looking amused at Crowley's confession. 

A confession Dean knows about because one of the demons he took out, Dean decided to use some old skills he learnt from old Alastair and got a few answers. Crowley doesn't know about that and the body wasn't recognizable after Dean was finished covering up his trail by stabbing the meat-suit. Dean wasn't stupid after all. 

“You lied.” Dean accused, but truly this was a way out. Dean didn't know what he would be doing on his own. It would be just him and Lucifer. And that wasn't as concerning or scary as it used to be back when Dean was human. Now he felt nothing, it was just another thing. Just like Sam. Just like Castiel. 

“Who do you think you're talking to here.” Crowley sounded indignant and looked offended when Dean cut him off at this point by standing up. Crowley tried to get him to sit down again. Even going so far as telling Dean how things are going to be now. No more killing humans unless Crowley requires them dead, and they'll still be howling at the moon just not at this bar. Crowley was tired of it and wanted to get back to work. 

He was given the night to think it over and Dean did. He drank. Sang. Got into a fight and had sex, Lucifer was not amused at any point and considered his singing to be an abomination. Which had Dean singing louder. But in the end, by three in the morning Dean was on the road. 

It was then that Dean got an interesting phone call. 

~ Dean – Lucifer ~ 

Satisfaction could be the only thing that Lucifer could feel at the moment. He may be trapped but things were going better than he thought. The entire time that Dean slept after every kill and every bout of sex there was whispered suggestions. Dreams that Dean won't remember because he wasn't speaking to the demon part of Dean which took up most of him. No, Lucifer was conversing and pulling into dreams the last part of Dean that was human. 

But that human part would influence Dean enough to have him going in the suggested direction. And not to cause too much harm and damage to little Adam who got pushed out of the cage finally and with a mission. The promise of being free and without any pain was enough to drive the needy human to agree with the deal made with the two brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did everyone think of the Season premier?


	15. Chapter 15

Lucifer could honestly say that the entire situation was beyond ludicrous, it was a joke. Four demons in a room, one completely off his game. There was a time when he could have found the former Crossroad Demon near respectable. However since his betrayal and since Dean became an option, his most current option, for a vessel Lucifer watched as anything respectable in the rather pathetic demon disappear at a quick pace. 

Though he did have one point, Dean did fail to get a soul. Who cared if it was one unfaithful monkey who died rather than the woman he cheated on. The unfaithful male specimen was the client. The good thing that came out of it was to show just how much Dean needed to kill. It was a thirst and hunger and a need all wrapped in one destructive bundle. 

Lucifer watched as Crowley was pushed back hard enough until he lands on the ground, embarrassed no doubt. And after he attempted to lecture Dean. Something even Lucifer would have chastised Dean on if he considered allowing a lowly demon like that to do such a thing. 

A quick reminder of who Crowley is to the other two demons, Crowley got back to his feet and Dean held himself in check. Lucifer didn't say a word, he didn't need to. He trusted Dean enough to handle this situation and made that known. So far the demon who Dean is, hasn't pushed his limits with Lucifer and so far they got along swimmingly. Aligned in goals even if some were subconscious. It was Lucifer who helped Dean come to the conclusion to remove everyone who's wronged him. 

The only ones standing now that could have wronged Dean was at the Bunker. Or at least, the wrongs they did were more negative thoughts that bubbled up during those moments and Lucifer simply had to light the fire. Or more correctly, let Dean light the match for it. 

“What do you think you're doing?” Crowley's voice didn't betray any undignified emotion that the demon no doubt was feeling, but Lucifer wasn't as experienced as he was to simply miss the fleeting undignified emotions that fluttered through eyes that were too human at times. 

“Oh? Whatever I want.” Whatever Lucifer wanted as well, but Crowley did not need to know that and the demon that saw Lucifer regularly didn't care for any of it. So long as his own addictions were met and what he wanted was given. And for the moment, it will be. But eventually that agreement he made with Dean would have to be enacted and that yes that belonged to Lucifer now was to be given as promised. 

“Really? Because I don't think you know what you want. Tell me Dean. What are you? Demon? If so, why isn't Lester's wife dead. Did you feel sorry for her. So maybe you're human. Except, you have those pretty black peepers and you're working alongside me. Why don't you do us all, a great big favour. And pick a bloody side!” Crowley's taunts no doubt were hitting home to some degree and Lucifer was curious to see just where this was going to go now and how much effect those words would have on Dean. He had a guess, of course. 

It didn't stop him from sitting on the table and watching just to see what would happen without guessing or knowing. 

“Or what?” Dean's come back was calm, confident and it was clear that he was more of a threat than Crowley probably expected. A human Dean would be easier to bond with, to create something with because there was morals and attachments. A demon did not have those, not in the way that Crowley no doubt was hoping. All the same, Lucifer watched as it all fell apart on the lowly crossroad demon. 

Dean advances, slow and steady. 

“Hm? Go ahead, make a move. See how it ends. I ain't your friggen' bestie and I ain't taking orders from you. When I need to kill, I'll call. Until then, stay out of my way.” All the while Dean didn't stop moving until he was face to face with Crowley. 

“You don't even need to call him, just so you know.” Lucifer pointed out, mostly for the sake of talking. 

“Fine. It's over. What can I say? Crazy ones, they're good for a fling. But they're not relationship material.” Crowley said and at this Lucifer laughed, Dean seemed amused as well. Made it well known that he wasn't moved by this only amused until Crowley left with his two demons that no doubt would spread some rumour of what happened today. Crowley will put a stop to it, but the damage has been done. 

Now that the place was vacated and only Dean and Lucifer remained, Dean took up the piano and a drink and Lucifer hummed along. There was nothing better to do. Not until Sam showed up and the newcomer on the field. Dean couldn't help but ask where John Winchester was, if he was a ghost or did he pass on finally. It was clear Dean didn't care all the same as the situation escalated. 

Cole Trenton as his name was, and the skilled fighter didn't last a chance of an experienced hunter turned demon. 

That sadly was where the fun ended. 

It turned out John Winchester was biding his time and caught Dean off guard, with Sam's help they both apprehended Dean and bound him in handcuff and chains, afraid that he would escape no doubt. Dean was forced to sit in the back of the impala and beside Lucifer. John took the driver seat and Sam the passenger seat, it was clear that John didn't approve of the First Blade being given to Crowley. 

Lucifer wondered when they had time to strike a deal with Crowley? Dean seemed not to care as he glared angrily at Crowley for touching the blade. 

The ride back to the bunker was filled with spite filled words and taunts from Dean until it was John who tapped his mouth shut. Dean laughed all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is too short, the next chapter will be Dean's POV because by the looks of it I'll get plenty of material to work with and twist around for this story.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean stood in his room. His room. The room in the bunker. Something that was his. Something he lost and probably something he shouldn't be allowed to have. Scattered across the bed was pictures that Dean has collected over the years. There was one picture missing that included Jo and Ellen, Bobby and Castiel. Bobby was still in a wheel chair then. But that photo was burnt and it was something Dean found regrettable though the logic behind it was understandable. 

Lucifer stood on the other side of the bed, the constant company has yet to say a word to Dean. The companionship and understanding he seemed to have with the fallen Archangel while Dean was a demon seemed to have diminished. It seemed like it was back to what it was when Dean was human. Fear driven defiance on his part, sadistic amusements and twisted understandings on Lucifer's. 

Yet it still seemed more honest than the usual stuff that Dean was given over the years. It made it hard for Dean to pull away when he should. To ignore his presence. 

“You had every right to say the words that you have, while you were a demon and trapped while Sam and John healed you.” Lucifer's words came at a shock. Dean didn't expect him to speak today. Not after Dean was turned back to being human, after all it seemed like he preferred Dean as a demon if behaviour was anything to go by. Insults and disappointment directed towards him and for some reason that stung more than Dean thought it would. 

“I was wrong.” Dean stated. Holding onto a photo that seemed like it was taken a lifetime ago. Both Sam and himself were standing tall and happy, there shoulders weren't weighed down by the weight of the world and everything that came with it. They were brothers then, proper brothers. 

“Do you really believe that?” Lucifer asked, staring down at the photo's scattered on the bed. 

Dean would say yes, he would say yes a thousand times. Because that was what the answer was supposed to be. But it didn't feel like a complete yes. Not with everything. Dean ignored the fact that he was being stared at. The sound of footsteps coming closer was the only thing that kept him from saying anything back. 

No knock came, instead whoever was coming in just invited themselves in without permission. And unsurprisingly it was Castiel. 

“Cas.” Dean greeted, he didn't want the angel to say anything. He didn't want his understanding or judgement. Dean just killed a lot of people and nearly killed his brother. There was also the problem of him still being a liability because of the Mark of Cain. What's to stop him from becoming a demon again? His arm itched like it wanted to grab his blade, a blade that was no longer there. Given to Crowley if Dean remembered correctly. 

“I stopped your father from coming here, he is not happy with me. But I wanted to speak with you first.” Castiel stated calmly, skipping over the greeting and getting down to whatever business he was here to speak about. Though Dean couldn't stop the chuckle that found it's way to the surface, pointing out that it sounded like they raced each other to get here first. Castiel didn't deny it, only gave the closes thing he could to a smile at the moment. 

Whatever was supposed to have been said, was not spoken at first and instead they both fell into an awkward silence. 

“Guess Sam wants a divorce?”

“Do you really believe that?” Castiel asked and Dean stiffened. He would be the second angel to have said that to him. Castiel noticed it, but than that doesn't surprise Dean because there's very little Castiel doesn't notice when he's watching. Dean waved him off. And admitted that he wouldn't be surprised if Sam wanted to leave, after what Dean said and tried to do to him. Castiel did not waste time setting Dean straight on the matter. Reminding Dean that it would take more than this to make Sam leave. To make Sam give up on Dean. 

And truly, this was what Dean was scared of. What would happen to Sam the next time they were in this situation or one like it and Sam refused to just leave and save himself. Dean doesn't want his body or himself for that matter to be responsible for Sam's death. 

John was the one who showed up as Castiel left. Dean felt himself stiffen up, he remembered what he told his Father and to his face. Told him how much he failed and what exactly he failed at. Accused his Father of brainwashing both Sam and him. It was this that Dean wasn't sure that he didn't mean or if he did. Dean could be so torn sometimes and truly it was easier when the man was dead because Dean didn't have to deal with this. But here he was, alive and in one piece. 

“How are you?” John asked and Dean shrugged partially before correcting himself. 

“Fine, I guess. As fine as I could be. Sam okay?” Dean answered, trying hard to push everything away from him so it wasn't directed at him because Dean didn't want to deal with that at the moment. In the back of his mind Castiel's words of advice kept replaying. Rest and let himself heal from the cure. But that won't happen because there was work to be done no doubt, always work to be done. 

“Sam's fine.” Dean could swear that he heard accusation in John's answer and Dean wouldn't blame him. Instead Dean just nodded and took a quick look around when he thought he lost sight of Lucifer. 

“I think I like this photo best.” Lucifer said pointing towards a very old picture. One of Dean's mother Mary Winchester and himself. What he lost in exchange of Sam and a life of hunting. Not that it was a fair trade. The only good thing that came out of it was Sam. 

“How are you?” John repeated this question, Dean didn't expect that fully. He was expecting John to accept his answer of fine and move on. That was the normal thing to do, this was new to Dean and he wasn't sure how to take it. Especially considering the fact that it came from his Dad rather than Sam. 

“Fine, I'm fine. I'll be fine.” Dean answered and it became more honest as he spoke. He'll be fine in due time. And thankfully, this answer seemed to be accepted as they moved on. Conversation was stiff and stressful. Lucifer found it amusing, pointed out every one of John's flaws and reminisced about the four months Dean was a demon. Also took claim on every human kill Dean has made. A gift of revenge as it was promptly dubbed. 

Dean reluctantly admitted that Lucifer was in the room with them and Dean had to watch as anger crossed John's features and Dean wondered just what his Dad wanted to do about it. 

“Nothing, the Mark of Cain could only be taken back by it's owner for you to be ride of it. Even then, four months is enough to leave a permanent mark on you. It would take years for the effects to be fully flushed from your body.” Lucifer explained and Dean explained it to his Dad after Lucifer insisted on this. Deliberately making it sound impossible, something that didn't make too much sense with Dean because would it not be more useful to keep that information silent. 

~ Dean – John ~ 

Why was information so freely given? Unless it wasn't freely given. There had to be a cost somewhere in there, like fine print on contracts. It was something John would have to think about later, right now he was just trying to figure out how to get on good terms with his eldest who was given back to him thanks to Sam and his ingenuity, surely that boy was a genius. 

“We'll figure this out. We'll get ride of him either way, don't worry Dean.” John didn't make it a promise, he's messed up so much in regards to his son's evident in the way they respond to him and how Dean instantly stiffened at the sight of him. So he won't add insult to injury by making a promise that John just might not be able to follow through with. 

“I know.” Dean like the magnificent son he was, let it go and accepted it for what it was. 

What did he do to deserve these boys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoy this chapter. Stealing bits and pieces and idea's out of each episode when I can.


	17. Chapter 17

Time passed in the bunker and on the road, and for moments John let himself forget that things were so different between the three of them and the world. It was moments when something was said or a look was shared that reminded him just how much has changed and how different they all were. John was sitting in the back of the Impala, a place that used to be one of the boys while he was in the driver seat. The one choosing the road and the destination. Now it was always either Sam or Dean driving the car and John sometimes in the passenger seat or the back seat. 

It was something else though to see a bunch of girls putting on a play about the Winchester family. It stung at times because of how much truth was in those songs and it was then he realized just how much wrong he has done in his boy's life. It was a slap in the face. The last song, Carry on my Wayward Son almost seemed like it was sung to his boys more than the audience. Something John was satisfied to see, those girls said it better than he would have been able to. 

He was mildly concerned about the notion of incest between his boys and then the thing with the angel and his eldest. 

It was also then when he realized that he had another son he completely failed and was still trapped in Hell with Lucifer. It was something else John had to see if he could figure out how to fix. But first, he had to get Lucifer away from his eldest son. He trusted the brothers to be able to fix things between themselves. John will work on his end, there's no doubt about that. But priorities. 

The angel, Castiel went off to do his own thing. He had heaven to worry about. And this was fine with John, he was grateful to the man but John was still finding it hard to get past the whole him not being human and his boys being okay with that. But if you create a bond and go through a lot of heavy things with someone than John could understand. He was a soldier himself after all. And a hunter. 

~ John – Adam ~ 

“My name is Adam Milligan. I'm alive.” Adam said to himself, this was the hundredth time he told himself this. It was important, he wanted to hold onto something that was truly his. His name. That was all he felt like he owned at the moment. His name and his pain. 

And pain is something that Adam is used to. It was normal. And so was hunger, confusion, anger and sorrow. Adam couldn't remember the last time he was happy or felt the warmth of the sun on his face. The first thing he noticed was how cold it was, Adam had to wear double layers now and he knows people look at him funny considering how everyone else is dressed for the heat. Not that it mattered. 

The lines between right and wrong, up and down have long since been blurred. When it's too much or not enough, Adam couldn't tell the difference anymore. But existing and surviving with two Archangel's could do that to you though. One that seemed focused on hurting you, the other going along with it at the start before he started to protect you. Keep you safe and ease the pain even for a moment. 

Then out of the blue, they both were kind enough to help him out. It was a bit jarring at first but when he realized they were serious he nearly sung praises to them. It was, however, at a price. Adam had to do one thing for them and that was bring one of his brothers to the entrance of the cage. To Stull Cemetery and Adam was to help the Archangels get out. Then Adam would be free and he would get to see his Mom again. 

He could go to Heaven. Michael guaranteed it and Lucifer agreed on that being a fair exchange. 

So now Adam searched for his brothers. 

~ Adam – Dean ~

Dean found himself waking up drenched in sweat. He didn't know what that was, but something had him feeling the same way he did when he just got out of Hell. Trapped and confused, guilty and in pain even though nothing hurt. Memories of Hell and his time as a demon swirled in his mind, almost choking him. Gasping for air Dean shifted so that he was sitting at the side of his bed in the bunker. 

The shadows shifted and moved around him with the faint echo of screeching and chains, heat and sulphur pushed against him. It was enough for Dean to turn on the lights in his room. Both the ceiling light and the lamp light. He had to lighten up his room. See that there was nothing there and that Dean was home in the bunker. His brother down the hall. A knocking on his door had Dean grasping for the gun he had under the pillow until he heard Sam's voice. 

He has been screaming, something that Dean hasn't done in some time now. It was enough to wake Sam up. 

It was a promise he made with Sam when there Father was on a supply run that had Dean getting up and opening the door. 

No more lies. No more secrets. If they wanted to fix things between them, have it as them against the world again that was the best way to go. It won't be easy for Dean because he's used to baring the weight on his own shoulders or at least trying to. He was used to lying to Sam about what's wrong or what's going on in his mind. But this was Sam and Dean wanted to fix things with him. 

He wanted it even more than he wanted food and water. Pie was debatable. 

Opening the door he gave his brother a 'what' look. He couldn't help it. 

“You okay, I heard screaming.” Sam asked, the concern that was in his eyes had Dean avoid looking at him for a moment before collecting himself again. Snark was going to be the way to go at least for a little bit. 

“You told me that already Sammy.” Dean said and earned himself a look of disapproval from Sam. Dean shrugged at that, Sam knows that this was how Dean was and Dean would be unapologetic about it. Some things didn't need to change after all. 

“Just nightmares Sam, old memories coming back to remind me that they're there. Didn't realize I was screaming though. That's annoying. No wonder my throat's sore.” Dean said, though he had to add in a complaint about it at the end. Trying to make it seem less than what it was. He couldn't have it be known that this bothered him more than what he admitted it to be. 

At least he didn't have Lucifer poking at him regarding it. How did Sam ever put up with him? 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam offered, and there was that look again. Concern. Dean thinks he would feel angrier if there was pity there as well, but thankfully Sam either knew better than that or respected him enough to not pity him. So instead he shrugged and explained it off as memories of Hell and other things. The usual. Before Sam left, Dean added in that it was also the newest memories of when he was a demon, Dean wanted to show Sam that he was trying here. To fix things. 

Trying to tell Sam without words to be patient with him. And a promise that they'll get through this was enough to tell Dean that Sam caught what Dean was trying to say. All of it and they were on the same page. 

Funny how better you could feel when you talk. It was something Dean was not always accustomed to. He was taught to bury things. Bare them on his own shoulders and not let anyone else talk some of that weight away from him. 

The moment the door was closed Dean heard Lucifer from behind him, “That was touching.” And with those three words, any good mood that may have came back to him thanks to the short conversation with his brother was gone. 

“Fuck off Lucifer.” Dean snapped, not caring who might have heard him at this point. Of course, Dean wouldn't get his way as Lucifer stood up and walked over to him with a casual 'nope' as his response. Dean knows that he's not going to get any more rest tonight. So he did the next best thing. Go to the garage. He was going to clean up the Impala again, it didn't matter that it was already cleaned. Dean just found it nearly therapeutic and a good distraction. 

Of course Lucifer was chatty tonight, Dean humoured him as best that he could because Dean found out that at times when you tried to ignore him no matter if Dean was a demon or human it wouldn't end well. For a guy who can't touch anything Lucifer could do a lot of damage where he needed to. So Dean replied when Lucifer spoke, got good at making it seem like a conversation on a phone in public. Sam and everyone else in the bunker already knows who it was that Dean was talking to, so he didn't hide it around them. Just corrected them when he accidentally cuts them off while telling Lucifer to shut up or fuck off. 

~ Dean – Lucifer ~ 

It was almost cute to watch the brothers grow close again. This would be the catalyst to forever send one brother spiralling away from the other. Drive one brother into the direction of the newly raisin Adam Milligan and in turn to Lucifer himself. 

All he had to do was open up the bubbles of memories and emotions Lucifer built up while Dean was a demon and wait.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam found the silence that fell in the Impala was deafening, any progress that he seemed to have made with his brother was practically thrown out the window. Or at least that was how it felt to him currently. Dean practically denied what happened back there. But Sam knows, he had experience with demon blood so he knows the lasting effect it had on him even when he was clean. Even to this day there was that thought that crosses his mind. A fleeting thought but it was still there. 

The Mark of Cain was the same thing, Dean being a demon even more so. The effect was still there. Something that proved to be the truth with every time Dean pulled the trigger. And with every flinch the point seemed to explode in Sam's mind. 

Was his brother lost to him, was this just a temporary thing and the sacrifices Sam made was for nothing? 

As soon as they got back to the bunker, Dean went for the alcohol and to his room. Offered some to Sam, but Sam refused. Instead he found himself tracking down his Father and speaking with him about the case. Telling him about Olivia the shapeshifter who was the daughter of Bunny LaCroix and a shapeshifter. Explained how Bobby was the one who killed Olivia's father and how apparently Bunny begged Bobby to spare her child, something that obviously happened. 

Of course his father had his opinion on the matter. 

“The shapeshifter's dead then?” John had asked, Sam wanted to point out that shapeshifter or not the girl had a name. But he avoided that. He didn't feel like fighting with his Father tonight. So he just nodded and realized that it must have been obvious that something else was bothering him. For once it seemed like pure concern drove John to poke at Sam until he found out. 

And it didn't take much. Sam didn't want to bare this alone. And his Dad was here. So Sam told him everything. Dean's reaction and how he killed Olivia and didn't care. 

“You should have seen him Dad, it was like it was when Dean killed that kid with the whole thinman situation. Like when he killed a vampire coldly and stared it in the eyes.” Sam found himself saying and hating himself as he said it. Hated that it sounded so true and so sincere when it shouldn't because this was his brother he was talking about. This was Dean. It wasn't fair. 

~ Sam – Dean ~

It was Dean's fault, he forgot to grab the latest newspaper that he wanted to read. See if there was any other cases he could pick up whether it was by himself or with Sam. Maybe even a case to go on with their father. But hearing the conversation between them. Sam admitting that he was concerned and worried and perhaps even fearful in regards to Dean and the after effects of being a demon and the Mark of Cain. 

It hurt. It meant that they didn't trust him as much as Dean thinks they should. It also caused him to feel angry. After all they should trust him. They should have came to him to talk about this rather than speak of it behind his back. Would they always look at him now and wonder when he's going to snap! 

Briefly he wondered if this was how Sam felt back during his demon blood days. 

But the thought was only fleeting as Dean changed his mind and settled on having a shower. All the while trying to curb the emotions enough that he wouldn't drown on them. The memories. The feeling of killing the shapeshifter. Even's Lucifer's surprisingly rational words. 

“They're afraid I'm going to snap. Sam confided in Dad. In him rather then confide in me.” Dean found himself telling Lucifer who stood against the wall. It was no longer as weird as it used to be to be naked while having an angel fallen or otherwise in the same room as him fully clothed and carrying on a conversation with him. It was funny what things you adapt to when you can't exactly shake a hallucination or in this case a projection of Lucifer. 

“Well, what do you expect? You wouldn't listen to Sam when he feebly attempted to have a heart-to-heart moment with you in the car.” Lucifer pointed out. Again seemingly the one who was the voice of reason in this situation and if that wasn't concerning, Dean didn't know what was. It was sometimes hard to predict what Lucifer was going to be like though. But Dean liked to think he was adaptable. 

“I'm not saying it's your fault that Sammy went crying to Papa Winchester rather then his big brother. It's not. But you have to realize that they're right Dean, to be concerned. You enjoyed killing her. Of course you didn't and won't admit it. But you did. It sent a thrill through you.” Lucifer continued to say, voice calm and reasonable as he seemed to be focusing more on his own hands instead of Dean. 

Dean glared and tried to focus on everything but the fallen angel. 

It felt like ages when Dean felt his shoulders sag and the water go cold. 

“I don't want to go back, to being a demon. Being like that.” Dean couldn't believe he admitted something like that to Lucifer. This was the guy who seemed to delight in walking Dean's dream's and nightmares reminding him of things and watching Dean react to them. But this was also the guy who talked to Dean, listened to him. Agreed with him when he wasn't at fault for something and sometimes, not often, but sometimes when it was Dean's fault the fallen angel told him so but didn't rub it in like salt to a wound. 

Like he said, he could never predict Lucifer's moods or what side of him Dean was going to see. 

“I know. And you won't.” Lucifer promised. And Dean knows it's a promise, but one Dean doubted because who kept there promises to him of all people? Even Bobby broke promises to Dean before. 

“How do you know?” Dean challenged, squaring his shoulders and glaring at Lucifer. He didn't want to seem like he was desperate but he wanted to know how Lucifer knew this. What he knew. 

“Because I don't lie Dean, not to you. I don't have to. There is also the matter that you agreed to say yes and in return I tell you whatever you want to know. The truth.” Lucifer explained, once again pointing out the fact that Dean would have to say yes in order to stick to there agreement. Something Dean didn't want to because he knows what the yes means when it comes to angels of any kind. 

Dean refused and fought against Lucifer about that a few times. Both in dreams and while he was awake. 

It never ended well. 

~ Dean – Adam ~ 

Thanking the truck driver Adam jumped out of the semi-truck. He arrived in the location that his dreams spoke of. Lebandon Kansas. It wasn't easy finding this place. In fact it was difficult because even Michael couldn't pin point it perfectly given his location. Now Adam had to get inside and he had to fulfil his part of the bargain. He had to deliver Dean Winchester to Stull Cemetery. Adam had to open the gate. 

It wasn't going to be easy. Dean Winchester has been considered one of the best hunters for a good reason, there was also the matter of Sam Winchester.


	19. Chapter 19

_“The people who loved me, they pulled me back from that edge. Cole, once you touch that darkness, it never goes away. Now the truth is, I’m passed saving. I know how my story ends. It’s at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun. Now the question is, is that gonna be today? At the end of that gun?”_

Those were his words and Dean meant every one of them. And this would be the happy ending. Happy because Dean would be killed and his body would rot and maybe if someone has some mercy left for him, give him his long overdue hunters funeral. But Dean doesn't think he deserves that now, nonetheless it doesn't stop it from being something he wishes would happen.

“Dean...” Sam's voice through the door, Sam was the only one actively trying to reach him after they got back to the bunker. John, his Dad had to take a bunch of calls and help other young hunters out there. It was just an excuse as far as Dean was concerned. An excuse like the alcohol or the next hunt or go look after Sam. Some things never changed while others did.

With a heavy sigh Dean gets off his bed, he's tired of listening to nothing but his own thoughts and the odd comment from Lucifer. The guy seems to be bipolar or something, Dean couldn't be sure. That or the guy was just as insane as he could be intense. Dean was sure that with Lucifer, it could be all the above.

Opening the door he was met with that one expression Sam has that made it hard for Dean to say no or refuse his brother anything. With an annoyed look Dean shoved his door the rest of the way open a silent but irritated invitation as Dean moved back to his bed and made himself comfortable with his back against the headboard.

“About what you said to Cole -” Sam started, of course this was where Dean wanted to interrupt. But he didn't with a pleading look from Sam and a reluctant continuation, “- Just listen okay. I'm not stupid Dean, I know that wasn't just words to say to a guy to stop him at a point in his life where it could have got pretty nasty and he could have became tainted, like us. Like Dad. You're not the only one who touched that darkness and you're not the only one on that ledge okay. I'm there right beside you.

Brothers. Remember. You say that the people you love pulled you back from that ledge, don't you think that it doesn't go both ways? Because I can't count how many times you pulled me back from that place. The demon blood. Ruby. Not having a soul. Dean. I was in some pretty dark places in my life. We both were. Hell and Purgatory? You pulled me back, I pulled you back. You're not alone, Cas is on that ledge with us. You know that he is.” Sam said and Dean had to admit, his brother knew how to pull off some pretty good speeches when he really wanted to. But then, Sam was always the one who seemed to be able to find the words that sometimes Dean was too afraid and sometimes completely unable to even utter. Just like Sam managed to have the strength to pull himself away from the hunters life style, for a short time anyway.

“That's just beautiful.” Lucifer's words came with the sound of clapping.

Dean pushed himself to ignoring the mocking angel as he moved forward, not trusting his voice at this point. The only response safe enough to give his brother was a hug for two reasons. A thank you and an agreement that Sam would understand. Also it gives him the chance to hide his face from Sam while glaring hatefully at Lucifer daring him to keep mocking Dean and mocking something Dean has that Lucifer no longer can have.

It was a message that Sam understood if the tightening of the hug was any indication. Dean watched as Lucifer disappeared before he allowed himself to have this moment, to let the weight of the Mark of Cain and what he was and what he done be lifted off his shoulders. A moment where he could rest his head on Sam's shoulder and just hang on so he could breath. Just for a moment, he was going to be selfish and have this.

~ Dean – Sam ~

Sam didn't want to leave, he didn't want to let go. Sam never wanted to let go of his brother again. Not ever. That bond he had with his brother, the connection that allowed them to go through a day without words yet feel like the day was filled with conversation and familiarity. It was slowly coming back and as happy as Sam was to see this and feel that warmth again after a good few years of chilling cold that followed him from the cage, all Sam could see was the end.

And it won't be a happy ending. Like Dean said, at the end of a gun or a knife. And not just for Dean. But there was another option on the table, one that might come to place should the cage be opened. One of them would be possessed again. A third unhappy ending. It sent cold chills down Sam's spine. He could remember what it was like. He didn't want to feel that again and he didn't want to think of the possibility that Dean might feel that because of the Mark of Cain.

Sam didn't know what to do or what he could do about it. It was near heartbreaking. The Mark couldn't be removed and Dean didn't know how. Sam offered Dean to figure out a way to transfer it, but that was turned down rather quickly because first of all Dean didn't want to put this burden on anyone else. He didn't want to live with the guilt that someone else will go down the same road as he did and people would die because Dean gave the Mark to them.

So what could he do?

~ Sam – Dean ~

It took a good hour before Sam considered leaving Dean's side. And even then, Dean found he had a little brother camping in his room. Going so far as sharing the bed with Dean, something that hasn't happened since they were young. Dean didn't push Sam away or turn him away. Instead hogged his own pillow while Sam carried his into the room. It was surprisingly easy falling asleep that night, but staying asleep was another story.

Dean found himself waking up in the middle of the night with his heart pounding and feeling cold. The cold was easily discovered as he found himself standing in the middle of the road. The bunker wasn't in sight, so that meant Dean wandered pretty far. This was the first time Dean found himself sleep walking. Something Sam used to do when he was seeing Lucifer. It was one of the things that Dean had to watch for until things got bad enough and Sam had to be put into a hospital. Dean wonders if he would get to a point where he would have to go there.

If he makes it that long.

Dean moved off of the road and noticed Lucifer in the corner of his eyes. Amused and taunting, it almost seemed like he felt like he won this whole thing. So what did Dean do, he did the only thing he could think of at the moment. He confronted Lucifer, didn't care if anyone drove by and saw him talking and insulting someone that was unseen by them. Dean made the conscious choice to hit Lucifer where it could possibly hurt, what he no longer had.

Mocked Lucifer for no longer having his brothers the way he wanted them. The way Dean had Sam. And somehow Dean knows that he did the worst thing at the moment, use his words with surprising accuracy. Dean found a way to hurt Lucifer, which Dean figures wasn't an easy thing to do. But he done it.

There was nothing he could say that would take back what Dean said, not that he would want to after everything this guy has done to Sam.

Before anything more could be said or done by Dean, he found his head held tightly bringing him face to face with an enraged Lucifer. Eyes cold and burning as they stared deep into Dean, it made him feel uncomfortable and crushed like everything he was is being witnessed and judged. Castiel had deep stares but never like this. The grip on his head seemed to increase until Dean swore he heard cracking. His body felt cold like he was being submerged in ice water.

It felt a little to close to what it was when he first got to Hell.

“Say what you will Dean Winchester, but how long do you think that you would be allowed to keep your brother?” Lucifer's words were cold and both his voice and the notion behind them made Dean feel the tight grip of fear and anger. The sheer thought that someone would threaten to take Sam away from him was enough to have him struggling against Lucifer's grip on his head. Kicking and swearing.

His fight wouldn't last long however, not when a sudden hot flash spread out through his body. He felt like he was burning from the inside out, like someone cut him open and lit his insides on fire and sowed him shut around the flames. Dean screamed, he knew it wasn't real but the pain felt far too real for comfort. The grip on his head was released and Dean collapsed to his knees, hands clutching and clawing at his stomach where the pain originated. Nothing out of place but the pain wouldn't stop. Faintly he was aware that he was on his knees before Lucifer.

Something that was only temporary as the fallen Archangel crouched before him, calmly taking a handful of hair and forcing Dean to look up into his eyes. Eyes that were still cold and hard, judging but a new element of vindication was clearly setting in.

It was this moment that Dean's eye sockets felt like they were invaded by Lucifer's fingers and blood pouring down his cheeks. Every negative memory that Dean had from the moment he was born to now were the only company Dean had as he curled up on the ground alone.

He didn't want to be alone with these memories! With what he has done and what has been done to him.

He didn't want to be alone!

Dean screamed because there was nothing else present that could ease the pain or let him see past the memories.


	20. Chapter 20

Fear and panic was two emotions that Sam has became intimately familiar with and for so many different reasons. Over the years, those two emotions alone left Sam feeling wrecked and shattered. And the reason that had him feeling those two emotions choking him and shattering him from the inside out was for a reason that was becoming all to familiar to Sam. 

Dean was missing. 

Anger and rage was the next emotions that took hold that left Sam gasping and his whole body wound tight like he was ready to spring forth and destroy something or someone. After everything Sam has done to get his brother back on more then one occasion, he was once again missing. It seemed like nothing he has done changed anything, Dean was always being stripped away from Sam leaving him bare and isolated without his brother. 

Despair was the last emotion to creep up on him. 

What if he couldn't find Dean? What if something happened to Dean or if something had Dean snap. The last thing Sam wanted was to walk into a room or house or wherever and seeing a blood bath of his brother's making. 

“C'mon Dean.” Sam growled under his breath as he drove frantically, his Dad riding shotgun and looking out. Even Castiel circled back from what he was doing to help. The panic in Sam's voice probably being a part of the reason why. That and this was Dean. Sam didn't know exactly what was going on with Dean and Castiel, but those two were close. Closer since after Purgatory. Best friends? Sam didn't know, didn't care either. He had priorities. 

“There.” Sam looked to where his Dad pointed out, the gravel at the side of the road looked disturbed. Like there was a struggle or someone collapsing. Pulling over Sam didn't waste time to walk over to the area and examined the area. 

“There was a struggle.” John pointed out as he crouched down next to the area. Sam crouched down as well. 

“Or a hallucination. I remember what it was like, to see Lucifer. How I can wake up to a damaged area because of mem- It could be Lucifer's cause. I don't see any other tracks or signs that someone else was here. If this was where Dean was.” Sam explained and hated the idea that his brother was dealing with things that Sam at one time had to deal with at the hands of Lucifer or anyone for that matter. Didn't his brother suffer enough! Didn't Dean give enough already? Didn't they deserve a break from this, from the universe screwing them over in every way possible. 

“It was within walking distance, I don't see how it wasn't.” John pointed out, looking back and sure enough this was within walking distance of the Men of Letters base. Sam couldn't argue with that, but a part of him hoped that this wasn't the area his brother was or where Dean was either forced to struggle for his life or faced a panic attach of some sort. Alone. Without Sam there to watch his back. 

“No tracks. Either Dean learnt how to fly, or he was taken by someone who can. Or teleport. Or car, but even then you'd have to get Dean up and moving so there'd be tracks.” Sam said. It wasn't necessary to say but Sam was driven to voicing this, the need to make it seem like they were at least getting somewhere was a necessary act in Sam's mind. Or at least he considered it to be. 

A nod, his Dad agreed. 

Standing up Sam walked further off of the road to look around. All the while phoning Castiel up to tell him of the new development. And being that Castiel couldn't find anything from his direction he said he would meet them. See if Castiel could see things that they've missed and Sam hoped that the angel could because they had to find Dean. 

~ Sam – Cas ~ 

Castiel hung the phone up and moved back towards the car. The sensation of failing was not a new emotion that Castiel had to contend with and he suspects that this will not be the last time he had to feel this particular emotion. It was moments like now that had Castiel having brief moments where he mourned the times when things were considerably more simple then they are now. 

Back when Castiel was a soldier who obeyed. When he didn't have to face such things like this. 

It was anger at himself that pushed those moments away and reminders of what he now has that forces him forward. This was a better existence for him, a better mindset Castiel would tell himself. And it would be the truth. This was right. It was far from easy and the road he was walking was rough and curved but it was the right path for Castiel and his companions made everything worth it in the end. 

So with a confident nod Castiel drove as fast as he could to the location Sam informed him of. It was easy to see where they were when he got closer. The impala was a dead giveaway. 

“Sam, John.” Castiel greeted as he approached them. They informed him of the situation so far and Castiel took the area in. Sight. Smell. Taste. The way that the air moved and the sun bared down on them. He made sure to inform them of his own findings. 

There was someone else who was here. 

If it was any other situation and if Dean was here, Castiel was fully aware of the fact that Dean would not waste time to taunt him and no doubt state that Castiel was like a bloodhound. Dean was like this though, joking at times in the face of moments of tense atmosphere's. Or at least trying to, sometimes those jokes were empty. Regardless though, empty or genuine. Jokes was never something that hindered Dean's ability to get the job done. And done properly. 

It was a pity, Castiel could almost wish that this sort of comment has passed and things were nearly normal. 

However, it wasn't and Castiel had a job to do. 

“Who was here?” Sam asked, desperate to know. Desperate to find Dean and Castiel can sympathize. Crouching down Castiel took in everything once more, went through his own memory and mind to find matches. Of course he knows and can figure out any molecule. He could even tell you where the rocks came from in the long run. It was all a mess, jumbled together because it didn't stand out. It was not important in the long run when put up against the missions or his purpose for so many years as a soldier. A warrior of Heaven. 

Pushing past that, Castiel focused. 

“Ca-” 

“Sam. Although I understand your desperation and need to locate Dean. I cannot tell you right away. It takes time to sift through everything here. And there is a lot, this is a well travelled and lived area whether it's by people or animals or insects.” Castiel explained, trusting Sam's intelligence to be able to fill in the blanks of what this meant. John Winchester was not very patient, grunting something and storming back to the Impala to run a check over it for the sake of having something to do. Sam said nothing. Just stood there waiting for Castiel to finish what he was doing. 

It didn't take to long after the latest interruption to his process. 

“You will not like this and I do not know how it was managed fully.” Castiel's words were the truth, he was well aware of the fact that Sam or John would like the news that was to come. And Castiel was hoping it wouldn't be the truth in the long run, but he was doubtful. In the back of his mind he knows the time of the year and he knows one of the futures that was shown to Dean during the first Apocalypse that the Winchesters were personally involved with. 

“Who?” Sam asked, it almost seemed like he was hanging off of every word Castiel spoke. It wouldn't be an entirely shocking fact if he was, Sam was attentive when needed. 

“Adam Milligan.” Castiel answered and waited for the fall out. 

“He's dead. He died during the whole Michael fiasco. His body was dragged to the cage along with myself, Michael and Lucifer. His soul for all that I know went to Heaven or somewhere after you threw a Molotov of holy oil at the body.” Sam explained. No doubt remembering a conversation he once had with Castiel regarding vessels, Jimmy Novak and other things. And in all purposes, it should have been so. Adam's soul should have been in Heaven and he should not have been capable of this. 

How was Adam topside or existing in the first place. Who brought him back, it should not be capable for Michael or Lucifer to do this? Unless the fall and Metatron's meddling made it briefly possible? Castiel had to go to Heaven, he had to speak with Hannah and others to see there perspective of this. 

John got into the conversation at this point and all three of them left the area feeling worse but at least now they knew who to look for and Adam Milligan did not have the same branding on his ribs that Dean did. This might prove to be an advantage in the long run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, the end is in sight for this story. What did everyone think of Claire Novak's presence in the series or Dean's steady fall back into the influence of the Mark of Cain?


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is short... There's a reason for that along with the fact that this is the beginning of the end for this story.

It started as a rumour, stories in the tabloid that Dean manages to catch. People being killed, some of them on death row. It didn't take a genius to know that his brother and father would have caught on by now. If they were taking cases at all, Dean knows they are searching for him. Just like he knows they found Adam. Dean was sorely tempted to just end the boy's life.

One minute he was curled on the ground, something that Dean felt embarrassed about. It made him feel like he was weak and too broken to function anymore. But mostly he was angry at Lucifer for doing that to him, but he shouldn't be surprised. It was Dean's luck. It was also Lucifer who helped Dean get his footing back and take his leave from Adam.

But he didn't. He let Adam live and he didn't know what his family has done in response to it. But from what he saw, Adam wasn't with his brother and father as they drove past the gates of Polunksky Unit.

Dean knows without a doubt that he should approach them. Tell them what he found out while with Adam, what Adam managed to do. That the First Blade is the final key to unlock what the Horsemen's rings locked up. All Adam did really was reveal the lock in Stull Cemetery. But in order to get it open, the weapon created and gifted to Cain by Lucifer was needed. If there was anything that could be said about Lucifer, Dean had to admit that the archangel was smarter than he's given credit for.

Looking over the prison he knows enough that it's a maximum capacity of 2,984 and about 691 workers. Well one more open cell on death row thanks to whatever was involved. With a deep breath Dean approached the intercom and asked to speak to the two FBI agents that were investigating the disappearance of one Tommy.

It was one John Winchester who came out to greet him. Dean was partially hoping but mostly glad it wasn't Sam. Disappointing his father was one thing, but disappointing Sam was a lot worse.

“Hey.” Dean greeted, it was hard to bring out a smile. Not with he knows, not with the fact that he's barely slept. Lucifer gets chatty at weird hours. The fallen archangel seemed to like to keep Dean on his toes, he could barely plan for reactions now. Nice. Cruel. Patient. Pushy. Considerate. Inconsiderate. He could never tell which it was going to be. But that was the point, Dean knows this. Used this very method under the tutelage of Alastair.

It took some convincing but they let Dean enter and watch the tap with Sam and their father. It was there that Dean realized who was behind it. And it was from this point on that things got exceptionally worse.

Dean gained no break, no time to catch his breath. First it was going to Crowley who had the First Blade and then Castiel who discovered a mass grave, it turned out Cain was cleaning house. Anyone with a shred of his blood in there veins had to go.

Dean was on this list.

He was waiting. Because Lucifer said that Cain could take it back. And because of the deal, Lucifer said he wouldn't lie so long as Dean said yes. And he did. So maybe, maybe he can get ride of this thing.

First thing's first was to save the life of a boy who was unfortunate enough to be on that list of Cain's.

Then the confrontation and the failed attempt to have Cain cooperate. And not because he could, it turned out that he couldn't take it back or didn't know he could take it back. Dean tried to plead with him, make him stop and make him listen.

Dean didn't want to kill his last chance.

But he did.

And his words lingered in his mind.

_“It's called the Mark of Cain for a reason! First, first you'd kill Crowley -- there'd be some strange mixed feelings on that one, but you'd have your reason, get it done, no remorse. And then you'd kill the angel Castiel, now that one, that I suspect would hurt something awful. And then! Then would come the murder you'd never survive, the one that would finally turn you into as a much of a savage as it did me -- your brother Sam. The only thing standing between you and that destiny is this blade. You're welcome my son.”_

It was funny how his father was never brought up by Cain. Did he not know or care, or was John Winchester really that low on the list now? Dean hide out in his room, didn't listen to the fact that Sam found what Dean did to be amazing, even if the mark wasn't removed to Sam it meant that Dean could fight this. All they had to do was take Lucifer out of the picture.

Like that would happen!

“You know what this means?” Lucifer asked as Dean closed and locked his bedroom's door before his father could get there.

“Ya, I'm fucked.” Dean did his best to make it sound like a joke. He really did. But he knows by the head tilt and thoughtful expression it didn't work. Lucifer's been in his head too long to not see through flippant behaviour or joking. False bravado.

“It would appear that you might be facing a possible future of remission and relapse.” Lucifer pointed out, Dean frowned when he laid down on Dean's bed and relaxed while staring at Dean, going so far as offhandedly commenting that they had matching marks on there faces. Dean ignored that and sat in his chair, he won't use his bed while it appeared that Lucifer was on it.

Dean didn't want to think too much on that, instead opened a new journal and started to write. He didn't know the purpose of this, but he decided that he'll write down the things he couldn't say.

If he didn't know better, it almost seemed like he was writing a good bye letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did everyone think of the episode anyway?


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

After the fight with Cain, to Sam things seemed to pick up. Things almost seemed hopeful again. Like there was a cure or some means that he could use to save his brother. To save Dean. His Dad-their Dad was keeping positive, or at least as positive as he could. Sam knew that he had back up plans in motion if the worst case scenario happened. Sam didn't like to think about that, and wanted to challenge him on that.

But he didn't have the heart to. Sam was too tired of fighting with the old man.

Instead he focused his energy on his brother. On both of his brothers. He was desperate to save them both. One he barely knew anymore and was so messed up from his time in the cage and the other who was burdened with a bad decision in the form of the Mark of Cain. Both of them felt like they were far away despite being right there. When it comes to Dean, Sam couldn't remember the last time there was a distance like this one, the time when Ruby was alive and the apocalypse was raging didn't even stand close to the distance he felt now. Some of it was his fault, most of it even. But some of it was Dean's fault as well, it felt like he was pushing Sam away.

Like he was trying to lessen the blow somehow, should anything happen to either of them again. Like it did so many times already.

Sam stared at the First Blade, something that always found a way back. Always drawn to the Mark of Cain, like it was sentient. Which was an insane idea but it sent chills down Sam's spine all the same. They gave it to Crowley in exchange for Dean who was a demon at the time, but in order to face Cain they needed it back. And that was why it currently sat locked up in the Bunker. Sam considered handing it to Castiel in secret, despite the fact that it was handed to Sam who was trusted with it and trusted to keep it away from Dean.

But Castiel was here a lot of the time anyway, Sam never knew a friend so devote as Castiel is.

“Sam.” It was Castiel. Sam turned and regarded his friend and probably one of the only ones keeping this whole thing going. Sam wanted to find his grace for him, save Castiel too. It was the least he could do. A tilt of the head almost made it seem like the angel already knew Sam's wish.

“You should rest. You haven't slept in 24 hours, neither has your father and brother. Adam is the only one sleeping. We will figure this out, all of it.” Castiel was trying hard to be the voice of reason when there was little to no reason to be found in this bunker. The closes thing they had to a home since they lost Bobby. Sam wondered what Bobby would say or do in this situation and what he would do when it comes to Adam who was kept under lock and key and under supervision all day and night.

Adam kept saying that he failed. That everything will be ruined now.

Sam was inclined to believe him, but for different reasons.

~Sam – John~

His boys, all three of them were here and under one roof and all of them damaged and distant from each other. John never saw a void like this in his own family. It was distressing and it made the almighty bottle of alcohol look more and more promising.

He needed to sleep, desperately. So maybe a few drinks wouldn't be so bad. He could sleep and maybe he could come up with something to save his boys. He just wanted to save his boys.

Was that so bad? Why was it so hard anyway?

He cursed everyone that has ever had a hand in damning his boys and damaging them. From Azazel on.

~John – Lucifer~

Lucifer smiled. Everything was falling apart in the Winchester's life and freedom felt so close and Michael was almost excited as well. Lucifer played along, fed into it. He can't wait until he pulls a fast one on his beloved brother. The same trick that Michael planned on pulling.

He will be free and he will purge the world of it's filth and return it to it's former glory. The perfect creation of his Father's before the human race. The primitive species that was nothing more then a bad virus. A virus that placed all blame on Lucifer's shoulders when he was not at fault for any of it. It was all human made problems. All of it!

Lucifer flexed his damaged wings momentarily brushing up against Michael who did nothing to react to it.

“Soon.”

His wings rubbed against the cage releasing a sound that echoed out throughout Hell. One of feathers ruffling and shifting. It would be drowned out by the screams, you won't hear it unless you were listening for it. And Lucifer wondered, who was listening?

He will see the sky again.

He will feel the wind again.

He will feel some warmth again.

Lucifer will be free.

~Lucifer – John ~

A week has passed.

A long one. Adam was shutting down emotionally and mentally, curling himself into a tight ball and wishing for the pain to go away. Sam was trying to help him, both of his brothers. John was trying to help Sam burden that weight. Dean was drunk half the time when he wasn't on a hunt or a run for groceries. The mark that tainted his boy seemed to be constantly glowing and it might be in John's head, but he always swore he smelt sulphur on days when the red was really noticable.

Was his boy turning demon again?

Would John have to put him down?

What would Sam think? How would he manage to get Sam's forgiveness if it came to that?

Checking the clock it was near five in the afternoon, good enough time to gather everyone to eat. He fetched Sam who brought Adam with him. Castiel assisted John in cooking. The angel surprisingly good in the kitchen, it was an entertaining thing up until it was revealed that Castiel only knew what he was doing because of his vessel's former occupant. Jimmy Novak who was a decent cook and good father. And was also dead and in heaven while his body was an empty husk being used as a vessel.

John left to go find Dean. Get something solid in his oldest boy's stomach.

Only he couldn't find him. His stomach dropped and his throat felt a lump. Where was Dean?!

John didn't know what told him to go check the blade, but he did.

“No. No. No. Dean, where are you boy? You fool!” John found himself saying as he phoned Sam, it was quicker that way and told him to start searching for Dean. Dean was always known to answer quicker to Sam then anyone else anyway. John went and looked in the garage. The Impala was still there but a motorcycle was gone. Dean left the Impala and John found himself walking up to it, his whole body feeling chilled and numb. On the hood was a note. Two words.

_“I'm sorry.”_

“Did you fi-”

“He ain't here boy.” John found himself saying to Sam who just entered the garage with Adam in tow, reluctant to follow and starting to understand what's going on. Castiel was the last to enter saying that he didn't know where else Dean could be in the bunker.


	23. Chapter 23

Rising Consequences Final Chapter

Regardless of how hard Sam tried to get to Dean, knowing where Dean would go and where the door to the cage was. Sam had intimate knowledge of that, he did after all jump into it over five years ago. His Dad was riding shot gun and Castiel with Adam were in the back of the Impala. Sam didn't trust Adam enough to leave him alone, and Adam did try to get Dean to the cemetery, confessed so. It was his orders and the promise of succeeding was to be able to see and be with his Mom again.

Sam couldn't fault him, Sam knows first hand what it's like to be at there mercy. Given long enough, he might have done the same thing. But that didn't change the fact that Sam didn't trust him. Not for a moment.

“We have to get there, we have to hurry.” Sam said, it was needless to say it of course. They all knew. But Sam felt the need to vocalize it again.

“I know son.” John said.

The sky darkened, the radio has called for a thunder storm so it was expected. Only Sam found it doubled as both natural and ominous in it's warning of possible bleak times coming. The ringing of Sam's phone caused Sam to startle slightly, it was his Dad who answered and indicated who it was by a shaky mention of his name before putting it on speaker phone no doubt upon request.

“We're here son, all of us. We're coming for -”

“Don't. Don't come here Dad, Sam. I'm already in Stull Cemetery.” Dean pleaded through the phone, Sam could hear that tears were threatening to fall. Dean must be going through a lot of emotion right now to even not even hide this.

“Dean we can help, you know we can help. Just get out of there and come back to us. You didn't have to go there on your own, we're working on ways to cure the Mark. Sever your link with Lucifer. Dad's an idea, we can use something called the Book of the Damned, it might hold answers.” Sam found himself pleading. They pulled over because even Sam knows that it's best that he doesn't speak on the phone and drive at the same time. Adam said nothing, but a broken look of guilt crossed his features as he looked out the window.

“It's too late.” Dean's voice was resigned.

The rain started to fall, Sam strained closer to the phone so nothing could come between him and hearing what his brother had to say.

“It's no -” Sam tried to reason. How could he not?

“It is. I'm just phoning to say -”

“No Dean! Don't you dear do this to us. Don't do this to your brother.” John's voice cut in harshly. Sam agreed, though he didn't voice it.

“I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry for everything that I did while I was a demon, I killed nearly everyone who's ever wrong me. Wronged you, when we were growing up. I'm sorry for everything Sammy. Sorry for this too. But it is too late, it's to late for me. I said yes, Sam. Back when I thought this was just a hallucination. I want you to know that I did try to resist, I fought so hard Sammy. So hard. Day and night. There was no rest for me, between wanting to kill and slaughter everyone and Lucifer whispering in my ear and in my mind.” Dean's voice kept up the resignation that was heard.

“We can fix this...” Sam found himself saying as he leaned against the steering wheel and was tempted to bring the phone to his ear. The last time he might get to have his brother close to him. Even if it was only in voice.

“Get out of Stull Cemetery. We'll fix this.” John said. Sam could hear the emotion and that hurt just as badly.

“I can't. I told you, it's too late for me. He's being nice enough to let me say good bye, but I think that's just another way to hurt me and hurt you. All of you. I don't have to much time anymore, just a few minutes if that. Sammy -”

“Dean! What do you me-” Sam wanted to know even though he already suspected.

“I'm proud of you Sammy. I always have been. Remember that. Okay. Keep the memory of me, of us safe okay. The next time you see me, it won't be me. You find a way to kill him. Regardless of what he looks like.” Dean's voice held the pride that Sam knows would be there with his message and a firmness that was all Dean's. This was an order. And a plea. Sam found tears running down his face.

“Dean -”

“Bye Sammy.” The phone went dead at this point. Sam didn't hang up and the only thing he could hear was the rain and the dial tone coming from the phone. He didn't even realize he kept asking and pleading for Dean to talk again. Anger was the next emotion that came causing Sam to exit the car and not bothering to close the door. He walked away from the Impala not caring that rain kept falling and hard. In the distance, the direction of Stull Cemetery.

Thunder rolled overhead and lit the sky with lightning.

Why?

Why!

~ Sam – John ~

John watched Sam stand there, yelling and cursing the sky. He felt so weak at the moment and found he lacked the strength to go to Sam when he needed someone. Not even the angel moved in his clear resignation. It was Adam who hung the phone up. John remembers the last time he felt like this was when Mary died, sure he never had a perfect marriage with her but he loved her more then life itself. He did her an injustice by raising there boys to be hunters, but knowing everything now they would have gone down this route anyway.

He cursed Heaven and Hell's part in it. He felt Castiel's eyes on him for a brief moment, but oddly no accusation could be felt coming from the angel. Perhaps he agreed.

John only moved when he noticed that Sam was on his knees and his body wracked with sobs. Getting out of the car he approached Sam and knelt beside him. Despite the sobs, Sam was silent. The worst kind of tears to be having.

“Sam. We gotta get moving.” John said, but to where. Should they go to Stull Cemetery anyway? Risk seeing Dean possessed by Lucifer, the monster who was an angel in John's mind. It was a fitting description. It truly was. But then, John didn't favour any angel. He respects Castiel and even comes to appreciate his presence. But he was what he was and a part of John will never look past that. He wasn't human.

“Come on.” John stated as he pulled Sam to his feet, forcefully and had him sit down in the passenger seat while John took the driver side. Castiel leaned forward and set his hand on Sam's shoulder. No words given, but his support was no doubt appreciated.

They headed towards Stull Cemetery. The best case scenario, it was empty and they wouldn't have to face what was possessing Dean. The worst case scenario was confirming that this was what it was.

“I have to go to Heaven. I have to learn what has happened exactly and what will happen now. The next gas station, drop me off.” Castiel stated, John just nodded. He didn't know how Castiel will get there before John takes Sam to the cemetery and back to the bunker. But either way, they'll no doubt meet up later and whatever news Castiel has to give will be given then.

Silence took over from there on. The radio was off as well, especially after people phoning into the local radio station about a weird white flash coming from the cemetery area. No one knew what it was, no one suspected and John found a sliver of himself envying there ignorance. But mostly pitying because they have no idea what was walking the earth now. Something worse then demons and looking back John wished for the days when demons were the worst thing to deal with. When the hunt for one demon was all there was.

Such simple times in comparison.

Like he figured, when they got to Stull Cemetery it was empty but there was a hole that was sunken in slightly. It was barely noticeable until you stood right in it. Sam looked around and sometimes had a vacant look, remembering the last time he was here no doubt. They found Dean's phone but that was the only trace left of him here.

“He's not here.” Sam said before giving the order of moving out. Adam sat on the ground near the Impala. John didn't know what to do with the youngest of the family, he couldn't leave him alone. Too much has happened to him and simply because he has Winchester blood coursing through his veins. He'll try to make that right by keeping an eye on the boy. If there was anything that could be done, that boy has been through so much and has yet to really come down from it. Sometimes Adam even defended both Michael and even Lucifer on some occasions. But then, John couldn't blame the boy either.

He's been through a lot.

Not for the first time, John felt like he failed his sons extraordinary well. There was no undoing anything now. Sam seemed like he was starting to shut down emotionally and that frightened John in ways he never expected from the son who was always rebellious but kind. His youngest was damaged beyond repair. Dean was missing and possessed by Lucifer of all things! If it was a demon, then it could be something they can fix.

Sam started talking as soon as John got in the car. Filling him in on the possibilities now. They didn't know if Michael was freed as well. They would also have to watch out for the virus called Croatoan.

~ John – Dean ~

Dean remembered staring at the ground, the phone that he hung up after he said his good byes and hoped that they would listen. Do what he told them to do. To many times have they sacrificed themselves to try to save the other, only for it to seem to always end up like this. Always like this it would seem.

If it wasn't Lucifer, it was the Leviathans. If it wasn't the Leviathans, it was Metatron or some other asshat who wants to play king of the castle. It seemed like it was something that would carry on forever, giving no one a proper break from it. The world and everything in it seemed to yearn for destruction, it's own destruction. It left Dean feeling hopeless in so many ways. Sam was the only thing that kept him fighting for so long. But this mark and everything that came with it just left Dean feeling drained and bloodthirsty.

It was tiring.

The exhaustion he felt at times had no words appropriate enough to use.

It was selfish and wrong and everything Dean wasn't, the decision that was made for Dean to take the blade and come here on his own after nightmares and thoughts running rampant. News about wars and whatever else was going on. And then there was the problems going on in the supernatural world. Everything was thrown out of whack. Off kilter and wrong. It only solidified his conclusion that there was no end.

There won't be an end for Sammy anytime soon but Lucifer promised that Sam would go to Heaven and he would be given memories and bliss that would keep him away from taking his hard earnings away from himself. Sam would be safe. Lucifer promised.

He promised.

Dean felt drowsy, something that only increased until his body felt weighed down and constricted. His vision blurred with tears and the darkness that promised sleep. For a moment, he foolishly thought that he would have some sort of peace.

But two words drifted through the fog.

_I win._

The nightmares came then. The memories. Dean knows that this was punishment, punishment for helping Sam defeat him the first time. Punishment for every wrong doing and for having a hand in stopping things that were meant to happen. And Dean knows that some of it is for Lucifer's own pain and anger.

~ Lucifer – Dean ~

It wasn't easy, it was far from easy. Slipping out and slamming the door shut before Michael could follow, something that wasn't easy to do considering how powerful he was as a whole. But it was done and Lucifer was once again free and another body to hold onto. One that had decent muscle memory for fighting, much like Sam. But refined in Purgatory. A smile curled on what was now his lips, one that Lucifer ran fingers that now belonged to him across.

This body will do just fine.

He considered sticking around and waiting to see the expressions on Dean's closes companions faces when they realize that it was no longer Dean who was in control of this vessel. But there was work to be done. A throne to reclaim and a world to repair once he removes the filth that plagued it for so long.

It was time to get to work. Above him he heard no music or preparation for battle. Just the quiet sound of a door shutting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did everyone think of last night's episode?

**Author's Note:**

> According to Mark Pellegrino in the Season 7 Companion Guide, Lucifer was probably more than just a hallucination and that he was possibly a psychic projection of Lucifer still stuck in The Cage. And with the Demon Trials nearly if not curing Sam Winchester that takes him off the table, more or less. The Mark of Cain was given to Cain by Lucifer and Dean now has that mark, so that makes him a possibility. 
> 
> Well, just toying with that notion anyway. Hope you enjoy.


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